Getting Better Emotionally

There Really Is No End in Sight

It was a bit of a shocker to me the first time I learned that psychotherapy is not going to heal everything that is bothering you.

It will address the bits and pieces you are able to talk about, but if you don’t want to blurt out everything that hurts just set yourself down and say, “I think I’m going to be here a while”.

It’s okay, really.

A friend of mine, now passed on, told me once that 99% of the population was neurotic. I was surprised. He was a psychotherapist to other psychotherapists. Again, I was surprised. I thought all therapists were cured. No, they are not. They are human. One of the requirements, evidently, to be a therapist is that you go into therapy.

So, if they aren’t themselves 100% perfectly mentally balanced why should we go to them for help? Because it’s almost a case of: Been there. Done that. Besides, they are human.

Here’s what happens if you’ve never done therapy before. You get a little bit done. It might be six months; it might be longer but what you learn are self-care techniques to help yourself. I don’t think anybody ever gets completely cured.

Here’s what I think happens. You get enough work done to be able to have a normal enough life. You are happy doing whatever it is you do, but three years down the road some traumatic life changing thing happens; you lose your job, you get divorced, you get promoted, you get married. These traumatic things can be sad or happy. They are enough to push your buttons and you feel yourself going off the rails again. But this time you don’t go completely off the rails. You realize it is time for a little bit more therapy.

See what happened was the stuff you learned in therapy the first time around was enough to keep you safe until your higher self decides you are ready for something stronger. This is where you say, “My higher self sucks.” Right. Anyway, you go get some more help. If it’s not from the first person you went to you go to somebody else.

You learn some more things about yourself. Maybe this time you are able to trust your therapist a little more than the first one. Fine. Do that.

What is really going on is eventually you are going to be one fine emotionally balanced human being.

It just takes time.

If you want to have a look at the book my friend, Thayer White wrote you can find it in the internet archives on the Way Back Machine: https://web.archive.org/web/20140208011052/http://www.psychologyhelp.com/book.htm

The book is titled, “Be Your Own Therapist: Whoever You Hire is Merely Your Assistant” He put it up on the web so that it would be a free read. Nowadays you can only find it in the internet archives or sometimes on Amazon as a used copy.

Do you want to hear a funny conversation? It’s when I tell my therapists I hear voices and can talk to the dead. That’s always sort of humorous. What is neater is that they are okay with it. Thayer always told me to ask for trans-personal therapists. He said they would understand.

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