LIFE CHOICES | MENTAL HEALTH
Take a Long Hard Look at Your Face in The Mirror as You Sit and Wait
It’s time for self-surgery.
I was able to perform self-surgery on my broken heart and you deserve to do the same.
You possess the qualifications and abilities but must have a strong desire.
Simply put, there are no laws, morally, ethically, or legally based, governing you to wait for someone else to mend your emotional wounds. Quite the contrary, only you can perform this necessary self-surgery.
If you are walking around with a broken heart, or even unresolved heart pangs, it’s time to take control of your healing. It doesn’t matter what the root cause is of your distress.
Yours may be seemingly insignificant to someone else and you may give another’s pain greater weight because theirs seems shocking. Regardless of the magnitude, if any ‘victim’ feels continuing pain, it needs to be addressed.
Pain is pain.
If you are stuck in one spot, the waiting room of life, looking for people to come to you and confess their sins, apologize, and gift you a million dollars with a cupcake, it’s not happening.
The idea that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired triggered something in me. My heart was heavy. My mind couldn’t rectify why I was functioning at a level less than my normal capabilities.
I did the proper dissecting of the source, or sources, and looked around. No one was there. Do you know why?
Because it’s not their job to fix my emotional heartaches.
It was my job.
I wanted to heal and I wanted it now.
Yes, I can be very impatient at times. I am also extraordinarily polite.
These two dominant personality traits are in constant battle with each other.
Though I usually prefer my politeness to be victorious in my interactions, impatience has importance I can no longer deny.
Thankfully, my impatience with feeling ‘less than,’ questioning ‘why me?’ and looking for a way to time travel to undo missteps, prevailed. I could no longer wait for answers. So, I did some serious autopsies on past misfortunes that were weighing me down.
Where My Politeness Failed Me
- Not communicating a desire
- Not communicating a discomfort
- Not communicating when I needed help
Without overstating the obvious, my politeness gene prevented me from communicating sensitive things at all. I had become an avoider.
I realized that my default in putting others’ feelings ahead of mine sabotaged my own happiness in most areas of my life. Time and time again, this failure to speak up for me and relay my wishes, led to eventual disappointment.
Pain is pain.
I promptly left the waiting and knew I had to fix this myself.
My Two-Step Guide to Broken Heart Surgery
1. Locate. Define. Isolate.
Is it Work, Love, or Family-related? Really look at your pain source under a microscope. The more you can break it down, and truly define it, the easier it will be to absorb.
Isolating it is important. If you lump too much together it will appear insurmountable.
One dissection at a time.
2. Remove It.
Excision is not easy.
Go into this step with ease and don’t get ahead of yourself. Forgive everyone and everything that did you wrong.
Forgive yourself.
Truth time. You’ll need to forgive what you have been holding onto as unforgivable. You’ll need to forgive and stop waiting for an apology that may never come.
It’s the only surefire way to remove the poison.
Forgiveness is not a weakness nor does it equate to forgetting or acceptance. Forgiving will allow you to become stronger and better able to receive the positive aspects of life. Forgiving is for you, and your wellness.
My Surgical AfterCare Plan
- To avoid recurring symptoms, you need to acknowledge your responsibility. Do you need boundaries of acceptance? Create them.
- Do you need better enforcement? Communicate. It is vital to tend to your aftercare plan.
- Avoidance will negate all of your hard work and you’ll find yourself back in for surgery.
To sit in a waiting room is torturous for the impatient me.
I recognized that I was wasting valuable time for someone to call my name and address my concerns, which was absurd.
It’s not going to happen. Ever.
You can fix your broken heart by yourself. If I could do it, I believe you can too.
The waiting room looks really crowded to me. Needlessly.
Are you waiting?
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