Get Out Of The Dark Place And Start Taking Responsibility For Your Healing
Yes, you can heal
Healing. Restoration. Growth.
These are not outcomes of knowing more. These are results of acting upon the information you know. It’s about getting up and putting what you know into practice.
Everything sucks in the beginning. It all takes time. The trick is to let it suck and do it, anyway. Your mind will scream ‘No’. Of course, you still want to think about that person. You want to relive that horrific moment. You want to wallow. You want to cry a river and then float yourself downstream. You allow the lyrics of those sad songs to pierce into you, inch by inch, creating unbearable pain, draining out every bit of mental and physical energy you have left.
You can’t keep it all inside. So go ahead, cry, vent, and scream. Yes, you knew it doesn’t do a damn thing to fix anything, but it’s all right. Do it anyway. Let it all out while it lasts.
And when you’re done, and eventually you will call it a day. Pack up and move on. And if your mind keeps teasing you, enticing you to swing your attention over there again, refuse to listen. Don’t comply. Go walk the dog, bake a cake, do anything else but don’t go there. That’s how you overcome.
The only way you can make any change is to do the things you know you need to do, even when you don’t feel like it. Don’t let your mind take over. Don’t let it erode your confidence. Be deliberate.
Love yourself enough to be responsible for your healing
Life rarely happens the way you want when you set it to run on cruise control. You have to be intentional. You have to stop whining about how difficult it is or how you can’t get over the heartbreak. Stop complaining that life is unfair and that most everyone else gets the better piece of the pie, but not you.
The truth is, you already know too much that there’s no stopping you. There’s no reason for you to fail now. You may have encountered defeat, but you’re not defeated. You already know what to do. You know where the key to your breakthrough lies. You just have to go down that road and stay on course.
You’ve seen enough of it. You hear it almost every day. Your inbox is spammed with motivational messages. There’s no shortage of it strewn across social platforms and media. Numerous voices are blaring from mountain tops, incessantly reminding you that you are worthy, you are enough, you are powerful.
Yet most people rather let their emotions have the best of them, dragging them off the path of success while they get themselves drained, feeling sorry, hopeless, and lost.
Love yourself enough to walk away from hurt
By not focusing on healing and growing, you are choosing to hurt yourself. By not actively choosing the courage to make a difference, you are choosing to stay wounded. You are choosing pain over freedom.
It’s easy to overlook the small, everyday actions you do to hurt yourself. These subtle ways have negative consequences and a detrimental effect on your wellbeing.
You travel down the beaten track of rumination, getting stuck in a negative thinking spiral while wallowing in your misery. It enslaves you, depletes your energy, and gets you fixated on the problem, making it hard to see any way out. It’s the common personality trait that breeds a cynical and bitter mentality.
Memories are fragments of our past. They are a reminder of where we’ve been. But if going over and over those moments brings discomfort, and causes you to lose yourself all over again, then you must make the conscious decision to not tread on that path again. Let it be non-negotiable, at least for now. If it makes you cry again, if it causes your heart to break again, then don’t go there. Don’t.
Don’t do this to yourself. Understand that you deserve more. You don’t have to tolerate the pain any longer. You don’t have to be kept awake by endless chatter at night. You don’t have to keep letting your feet carry you to the painful place.
Yes, the experience is agonizing. And difficult. And clingy. But you can also have hope. You can be kind to yourself. You can give yourself compassion. Hope will carry you through.
Love yourself enough to grow through the pain
When life shakes us so hard, sometimes it seems almost impossible to get up again. But staying entrenched in pain is a personal choice. It anchored you in your suffering and shuts down any possibility of recovery.
The rumination. The refusal to let go. The belief that you are not worthy. The resistance. These are temporary roadblocks, and it’s time you slap an expiration date on it.
The flip side is acceptance. Because, truly, there is no reason to make life harder for yourself than it already is.
You are strong enough to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve you. That’s when you’ll be able to feel joy and excitement and hope. That’s when you’ll begin to trust that as one thing falls away, something else more awesome will take its place. That’s when your inner voice assures you that you’re worthy of so much more than this.
That’s when you realize that the crack exists so that the light can find its way through.