avatarDawn Swinnie Lumene


Generational Curse

Photo by Dylan Sauerwein on Unsplash

Been dogged out triple time

By you and your insecurities

Forget the security blanket

Who needs one anyway

They only grow cold

And almost never protect you from the fire

You caught me screaming

You caught me wasting energy in this bottle neck relationship

Squeezing promises into emptiness

And you look at me saying you got problems

I got problems hitting me at the door soon as i turn the knob

I got problems up to here so dont come at me with another problem of yours cause this hemisphere is made up of problems

Thats what you think of me huh

A box to lay all your problems in

Never someone to wrap your arms around

You cradled guns closer to your heart

And trust me I never got close enough to feel the warmth

But I sought after protection

You handed over steel magnolias

And the bullets

Were sacrifices from your lips

Since you were too afraid to tell me yourself

Bet you replicated that same security to your son

Which is why hes out repeating history

And finding his comfort in a drug dealers lies

Because he can’t depend on his father

To bring his adolescent mind

To an understanding peace

Yes I understand ignorance is Bliss

But is it polite to ignore someone reaching out

I guess its proper for you

And I’m supoosed to just live with it right

Im not even sure what amazed me the first time

The fact that you dont care

Or the fact that you won’t care enough to love

You washed it down with that bottle of solutions

You hold to your lips each night

You cradle that bottle like its holds your future

And look on me with disgust like i snatch them every chance i get

Sometimes i wonder if just as youre turning that bottle up

If you see fullfilment inside almost like a keleidoscope of lies

I wonder if it gives you the strength to presevere

Cause as you used to look to me to be you right hand

But that hand always seems to be cradling that bottle

You act as if it is liquid dreams

And with each sip you can taste the freedom

And keep swallowing your addictions gulp by gulp

Find that rainbow at the bottom of that glass

Youll find nightnares so scary

Youll wonder how you ever got to sleep before

They will be too real to ignore

And spoiler alert

Youll find thay youll end up

Right where you began


Is that what we have come to

Refusing my shoulder

Because you figure that youll lay down and die

Before you ever give up your pride to a female

Thats not what you used to think

Its as if that bottle you cradle every night is the poison that turns your heart cold.

And the real you is hidden amongst the ice and salted rim

And theres no room for me between your lips and the tip of the glass

I bet if someone tried to get between you and that cold drink

You would fight to the death

But if I was the bait

You would think twice

Gamble me away like I’m worthless

You putting on boxing gloves to stand in the ring beside your humble aid Jack

But you forget that I was on the front line trying to play defense for us

I must be dumb cuz you played me like a fool

I was thinking this was for you

You only worried about you

I’ll take this as a lesson

Not out of defeat but as a tool

To capture sunny skies and rainbows

Lock them in a dusty box

Hide it under the bed

Because I refuse to risk it all

For you

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