Gather the Leftovers
John 6:12 says — When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” Those words have a different significance to me today. Those words to put them in context related to the pieces of fish and loaves left over after feeding the 5000 people. Jesus saw the need of the people to be fed and he miraculously provided through the five small barley loaves and two small fish that a boy had. The word says that the people were full but there was still something leftover, the pieces.
It’s funny how we see our lives in retrospect. We look at all we have done, all the roles we have played and we make certain judgments about them. I have occupied the roles of daughter, sibling, spouse, mother, counselor, business owner, Sunday school teacher, mentor, coach, and many more roles. Some were major roles that continue to today, others were minor roles or ones that were short lived. In all those roles I pray that I was a source of nourishment, health and healing for everyone I encountered. But to be honest, I’m not so sure about that. I have no sure way of knowing that my life left others full.
Sometimes I fear that I may not have done as well in a particular role as I would have liked. When I feel that way I ask God to make up for all my short comings. I try not to dwell on them and ask God to meet the needs that I couldn’t or didn’t meet. I try to remember that He is perfect and I am not and was never meant to be. The danger about retrospection is that you can start to beat yourself up when you focus on your lack of perfection. So I try to focus instead on His perfection.
As I think about those loaves of barley bread I remember they were meant to feed a boy who had been sent out probably to do a day’s labor. They ended up in the hands of the savior, and in his hands they were able to feed many more people. This was how I saw myself in my youth, like those barley loaves, nothing special. I always knew I would be needed by someone in some way, but didn’t think much of my direct purpose. Now as I approach retirement I feel a little like I can identify more with the pieces that were being gathered. I hear God saying gather the pieces together, let nothing be wasted. I don’t know what he plans to do with the pieces but I suspect that if he feels that they shouldn’t be wasted it’s because he knows there is still a use for them.
In my barley loaf days, I didn’t anticipate what I could be in the hands of the Savior. In his hands I became so much more than I ever could hope. I became a mother of 5. In his hands I was able to foster children for a short time. In his hands I was able to build a business and counsel others. In his hands I was able to teach the bible to little children then later to adults. He broke me and shared me with others. But today I feel like I am identifying with the pieces, very scattered. His words however give me comfort. “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” Is it possible that there is more? Will the birds now be fed, or is it something beyond my imagination, like everything that has passed was beyond what I could imagine.
I don’t know what the next years have in store. I believe I am at the end of many things, but I don’t know what I am at the start of. All I know is that nothing will be wasted, because I remain in my Savior’s hands.