Games
And Bonding with Family
In the painting by Pieter Bruegel the Elder, Children’s Games, there are at least 80 children’s games. Some are easy to recognize, but others have faded into obscurity. In the bottom left of the painting, two women are playing a very ancient game, knuckle bones. You throw an object into the air and grab as many knuckles as possible before catching the same object. You will not find that in the toy store, but you can find “jacks”.
The game of knucklebones is at least 7000 years old. In ancient literature, Greek and Egyptian gods played the game. The Willis family in their cave in Neolithic Britain, probably enjoyed an after-dinner game of knucklebones. Tossing a blown-up bladder into the air while scooping up the knuckles leftover from dinner. Willis family game night was born.
Game night is more than playing. It is a time for sharing stories as you play.
Games have been a cross-generational glue for our family. As a pre-schooler, I learned to count by playing cribbage with my father. But I also learned stories of his life during the Great Depression. Michigan rummy was played by the extended family when they gathered in California. My dad insisted that I could play with the adults and I often cleared the table of pennies. I also learned about the complex group of cousins who migrated to the United States.
In Canada, my grandmother Sadie would lay on her thickest Glaswegian accent as she and my grandfather played euchre against my dad and me. I am sure they were passing hints to each other, but it was like watching the TV shows Peaky Blinders, Annika, or Outlander without the subtitles. Listening carefully I learn about my grandmother as a pre-teen who traveled on a steamship to Canada to search for her father.
Linda and I met overseas, teaching at the Frankfurt International School. She introduced me to backgammon. Once we were so involved with playing the game while waiting for a flight that we almost missed the departure. We looked up and realized the lounge was empty and the gate was closing. We were lucky to make it on the jet.
Linda had introduced me to an ancient game. Backgammon, also known as Ludus Duodecim Scriptorum, or The Game of Twelve Scripts was one of the oldest board games. It was popular in ancient Greek and Roman cultures. If you have had an opportunity to visit an ancient Greek or Roman city or a museum of ancient history, you may have seen the boards inscribed on marble tables or benches. It is easy to imagine friends, family, or strangers playing the game, having fun, and opening up about their lives. Did any of the ancient people miss their caravan while engrossed in the game?
We added new gamers as our family grew. Game nights became a fabric of the Willis family's social interactions and our imaginations. We saved a princess from an evil vizier, we ran together through mazes. We built empires, and we constructed railroads that connected nations.
It is Not Just Game “Night”
Each morning extended family members around the world bond through games. We compare our New York Times games. We share a Mini Crossword scoreboard. Then we share our results with Wordle and Connections on a message thread. Did we guess the price of that house on Listed.com?
Linda and I are now empty nesters. But every week or two the kids and their spouses join us around the game table, virtually. We play an online game. Favorites include Colonist.io (Settlers of Catan), Ticket to Ride, Small World, Wingspan, and Istanbul. As we play, we share the stories of our lives, continuing to weave the connections that keep us together until the next game night.
Invite us over for dinner and we might pull out Pig or Bananagrams. It just means we want to tell stories and learn your stories.
Addendum
I think gameplay also teaches us how to win and how to lose. Both are okay.
