Game Of Infants

Summary

The article reflects on the pitfalls of a mindset fixated on winning and the toxicity of such an approach to life and personal growth.

Abstract

The piece titled "Game of Infants" delves into the author's introspection about the compulsion to engage only in games where winning is assured. It highlights the author's recognition of their own childish, cruel, and selfish inclinations, driven by an obsession with victory at any cost. This includes adopting traits such as humility or kindness, not for their inherent value, but because they are perceived as avenues to winning. The author acknowledges that this mindset is a form of ignorance and arrogance, which leads to setting arbitrary goals like "100 posts in 100 days" to maintain the illusion of success and drown out the voice of their psyche. The text suggests that this approach is akin to a "special sickness," and the author admits that they would stop playing such games if they couldn't win, revealing a black-and-white thinking pattern with no room for nuance. The article concludes with a critique of the author's own toxic productivity, where even mental illness is seen as another challenge to overcome for the sake of victory, and a subtle disregard for the universe's patience. The author identifies themselves as a winner eager to coach others, despite the self-destructive nature of their mindset.

Opinions

The author views winning as the sole motivation for their actions, even if it means superficially adopting positive traits.
There is an acknowledgment of arrogance and ignorance in the pursuit of victory, which the author equates to a form of insanity.
The author sets arbitrary goals to avoid confronting their inner turmoil and to perpetuate the feeling of winning.
Winning is prioritized over personal growth or understanding, reflecting a toxic form of productivity.
The author's mindset is self-destructive, as it involves ignoring their body's intelligence and potentially exacerbating mental health issues.
The article suggests that the author's approach to life is a finite game, focused on winning rather than an infinite game focused on the joy of playing and personal development.

Playing the game of infants while calling myself a grownup

I only want to play games games in which I can win at least I am assured I will win I will do anything provided I will get to win

my only motivation is winning if being humble is the new winning I will forcefully be humble if being kind is the new winning I will forcefully be humble yeah I mean kind lol why not keep the error

nothing can stop me nothing gets in my way when I have by my side the sick motivation for winning

yes my only motivation is winning though this is my childishness my unexamined cruel and selfish mentality

it is fine and I can take great pride as long as I am ignorant

and not only that I want everyone to play that game not just my old parents or neighbors but also everyone I meet I won't spare anyone to get away without being infected by my sickness

be it pandemic or not no one stops me from finding something to win maybe a dull goal setting 100 posts in 100 days so that I can ignore the scream from my psyche and also feel great about it

when my body reaches limit of enduring my arrogance — my special sickness — and forces me to see my stupidity then I will simply stop playing the game because why would I play unless I do not get to win after-all I am a winner

in my true black and white thinking there are no grey areas so what do I do

I will find something to further torture my body-intelligence — that loser prevents me from winning — another clever way to prove to myself that I am again back to winning

if I have anxiety or other mental illness I will use my arrogance to win over it I can’t be bothered to wake up even when the universe is still being patient with me I don't give a fuck — subtle or otherwise — as I only love infant games — games played to showcase my great achievements

I am the winner and I can’t wait to coach other losers and pride myself

To see insanity is sanity

A finite game is played for the purpose of winning, an infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play.― James P. Carse, Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility

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