Gained Control

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Abstract

them on any infraction they make.My wife and I fight constantly. I say I will change, but that is only to keep her at bay. She loves me enough to believe it, though sometimes I think she is becoming wise.At work I am never wrong, it is always some dumb motherfuckers’ fault as to why things went sour. Never mine. To admit fault would be to admit that you were right. That I would never amount to anything. That I would always be a failure with a capital FAIL.No! I will never let you see me like that. Never let yo

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ur eyes stare me down into thinking you are better than me.I have figured you out and figured out how to block your voice. I no longer hear you. You no longer control me. I’ve drowned you out with my drinks, my exercise, and my control.I control my world.Your world is nothing, just glass. That is why I broke all the mirrors in this house. You will never be able to look at me again. I gained control the day I shattered you.Or did I?— Nicole Barden 1/17/2021</article></body>

Who is controlling who

The rage I have for you boils over into so many facets of my life.

I am short with my kids, always willing to criticize them on any infraction they make.

My wife and I fight constantly. I say I will change, but that is only to keep her at bay. She loves me enough to believe it, though sometimes I think she is becoming wise.

At work I am never wrong, it is always some dumb motherfuckers’ fault as to why things went sour. Never mine. To admit fault would be to admit that you were right. That I would never amount to anything. That I would always be a failure with a capital FAIL.

No! I will never let you see me like that. Never let your eyes stare me down into thinking you are better than me.

I have figured you out and figured out how to block your voice. I no longer hear you. You no longer control me. I’ve drowned you out with my drinks, my exercise, and my control.

I control my world.

Your world is nothing, just glass. That is why I broke all the mirrors in this house. You will never be able to look at me again. I gained control the day I shattered you.

Or did I?

— Nicole Barden 1/17/2021