Gain Total Freedom From Any Offence by Making This Simple Choice
Someone hands you a fresh pile of dog $#!+, would you take it? If you choose to be offended, you do!
YOU STUPID, ARROGANT, SELF-RIGHTEOUS PIECE OF WORTHLESS GARBAGE!!!
Question — Would you have been offended by that statement if I had convincingly said it directly to your face? (Pause that thought)
For that matter, have you ever thought about what it means to be offended?… and is there an effective alternative?
Some definitions — Offended; of·fend [ə fénd] — say it means;
- To be annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.
- To cause somebody anger, hurt feelings, irritation, or resentful displeasure.
- To be upset by something said or done.
- To affect disagreeably, by being rude or showing a lack of respect.
Another Question — Do you realize that just because it’s defined doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be a reality in your life?
Take another look at the highlighted words in bold print, “perceived”, “cause”, “upset”, and “affect”. These are all internal and habitual reactions to an external source. — Meaning that if whatever that source is, did not affect you physically, you have absolute control over how you respond to that source, simply by being aware of that fact.
This article, explains why and goes more in-depth on the subject.
But for now, let’s look at both sides of that coin in terms of on one side, always being prone to offenses and on the other, the deliberate offender.
The Offender:
- They are usually hurting, miserable people that can’t focus beyond their inner pain.
- Their behavior has more to do with their mental state of mind than what they say or do to try to offend you.
- They feel out of control on the inside so want to control everything on the outside, which is impossible, therefore causing their misery & we’ve all heard the saying, “misery loves company”. They are just trying to invite you into their inner turmoil.
The Offended:
- They look for acceptance by what people think of them so they allow external words or actions to control their emotions if those words or actions don’t line up with their internal unrealistic expectations.
For example… — Everyone should like them — Life should always turn out the way they want it to — Nothing should ever go wrong — Etc. These examples, however, are happening without them even being aware of it… thus, being offended.
- Unfortunately, this desire for acceptance dictates their false truths thru the eyes of their offenders, therefore accepting the offense by allowing opinions to outweigh their own self-acceptance.
Another question, — and I want you to take some time to think about this before we go on to the next point!
Is ANY part of either offending or being offended, productive in any way whatsoever?
If your common sense is screaming ABSOLUTELY NOT, allow me to introduce you to your next best friend, — Conviction!
Convicted; con·vic·tion [kən víksh’n] in the sense of this purpose, means;
- Compelling the admission of a truth (whether you like that truth or not)
This tells me — to always look at things as if you could be wrong — not in an insecure way, — but more of a curious way. For instance, If you were wrong, wouldn’t you honestly want to know about it so you could be open to fixing it?
Now let’s examine both sides of the conviction coin, specifically through that new outlook.
On the one side:
If you look at things as if you could be wrong and find out you are, in fact, wrong —
- You now have an opportunity to correct that wrong.
- You’ve made yourself better by adding to your wisdom.
- You can now constructively correct someone else who may believe the same as you did by suggesting to them what you have learned and why.
On the other side:
If you look at things as if you could be wrong and conclude that you were right.
- You reassured yourself, solidifying your conviction even deeper.
- You Gained much more confidence in your beliefs.
Wouldn’t you say that Conviction is tremendously more productive than Offence?
Now that we’ve built the technical skeleton, Let’s wrap some skin around these bones in the real world…
This is a crude example but very effective in terms of visualization —
Picture, if you will, there is a fresh, slimy, putrid pile of,… shall we say, a K9 YesterLunch Buffett — I bend over and scoop up as much of it as I possibly can and then offer it to you —
Would you willingly hold out your hand to accept it, or would you throw back your hands and say, “I’m not taking that”! So if someone tries to offend or insult you, essentially they are offering you VERBAL dog $#!+.
So again, let’s take it from the top — But this time see it through the eyes of conviction instead of offense.
YOU STUPID, ARROGANT, SELF-RIGHTEOUS PIECE OF WORTHLESS GARBAGE!!!
Possible Responses:
- I might be a little bit of the first 3 but I think the last one might be physically impossible.
- Explain what you mean by that?
YOU’RE FAT & UGLY!!!
Possible Responses:
- Fat is something I might HAVE, but it isn’t something that I AM because if I actually WAS fat, they wouldn’t have allowed me a driver’s license.
- YEA Buddy, that just means there’s more of me to love.
- If you think I’m ugly, you should see my twin brother.
YOU HAVE A HUGE NOSE!!!
Possible Responses:
- You should smell flowers with this thing… AMAZING !!!
- Thank you, what’s your superpower?
YOU’RE WORTHLESS!!!
Possible Responses:
- Worth Less Than What? I need to know so I can work on that.
- Compared to what?
Try to follow everything up with a question, making it a dialog to defuse the tension.
I have one more powerful statement with a very simplistic example of gaining freedom from any and all offenses from this day forward. (with a bit of practice of course)
Let’s say you have green eyes.
If I told you that you have purple eyes, would you be offended? — NO — Why not? — Because it is NOT true —
If I told you that you have green eyes, would you be offended? — NO — Why not? — Because it IS true —
Did you catch that?
Do you grasp how powerful those facts are?
You are FREE from offense simply by realizing the truth -OR- the untruth. Because BOTH are reasons NOT to be offended!
If you’re wondering that this couldn’t be that simple and are questioning the simplicity by other examples, such as; “Well, those above examples weren’t very offensive, but what about the ones that cut to the heart like, what if someone calls a loved one a bitch, a whore, or whatever the worst-case derogatory accusative statement that you can imagine, how do you deal with that?”
The names themselves are not now, never have been, and never will be the issue. The words big nose and whore are only just words. They possess no meaning whatsoever other than what you give them, so if you choose to strip those words of the power you assign them, they are now devoid of any meaning. Rendering every word on earth to be inoffensive.
For instance, an example would go something like this…
YOUR WIFE IS A WHORE!
Possible Responses:
- You are entitled to your opinion, let me consider that and I’ll get back to you… (pause for about 2 seconds) I’ve considered it and have concluded that your opinion isn’t a valid option, but thank you.
- I’m sorry you believe that but I don’t share that belief, I wish you a wonderful day filled with many blessings. Take care.
In Conclusion:
What I want you to take from this —
- Always look internally with the intent of personal growth in the security that conviction offers you. — Driving you towards the truth by owning a victors mentality rather than away from the truth by being offended, owning a victims mentality.
- And it is pointless to be offended by anything that is either true OR untrue.
Thank you so much for your time, if you’ve found this helpful, I would love to stay in touch, click HERE to be informed of my next article. If you could find it in your heart to contribute to my cause, or just want to buy me a coffee, click HERE.
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Much Love. Rick
