Inspiration and Life
Gain More in Life by Slowing Down
Are you mindful or mindless?
Why are so many people in such a hurry today? Have you noticed how life seems to be rushing by with ever-increasing speed? Imagine what it is causing us to miss. Too much!
Will it never end? Isn’t there a way we can do better? Read on to learn a different approach to taking control of your life by slowing down to gain more.
The habit of inattentiveness
Many of us are in such a hurry we pass by the obvious. Are you blind to what is going on around you? Some of us find ourselves working to the point of becoming a workaholic, ignoring our family and friends.
One day, seemingly out of the blue, our neglect comes back to haunt us. Strained relationships and divorces are the inevitable consequences of such inattentiveness. How often do such things happen? Far too often.
Have you driven somewhere, arriving at your destination, barely remembering details about the trip? Have you ever been on the phone and passed an exit or missed a turn? If not, give it time, and you may one day “enjoy” the disorientation of this experience!
Some years ago, I developed a terrible “habit of inattentiveness.” One way it manifests in my life is as tunnel vision. I become so focused on a task I pay little or no attention to anything else, often to my detriment.
I became aware of this habit while attending Duquesne University to become a professional coach. The curriculum included teaching about mindfulness which I found helpful.
Waking Up in China
Sometime later, my wife and I, with a group from Duke University, went to Shanghai, China. At the time, Duke ran a program in China to help US-bound college students prepare to transition to the American university culture.
As part of the curriculum, we taught mindfulness. Fortunately, our group leader was a mindfulness expert, and we learned much from him. Through teaching mindfulness, I became more deeply aware of my habit of inattentiveness and how to deal with it.
“Mindfulness is the miracle by which we master and restore ourselves.” Nhat Hanh (1926–2022)
Imagine becoming aware of slipping into inattention, seeing the trigger, and catching yourself to regain control. That is what I experienced. A benefit of taking charge of this habit was becoming more aware of what was happening around me.
How much of life had I missed because of my inattentiveness or lack of awareness? I have to say too much! Whenever you are not present in the moment, where are you? For me, it’s usually lost in thought or sheer thoughtlessness.
Think about what you could learn by purposely slowing down and increasing your awareness. What could result in your life by noticing the things you were blind to? What discoveries could you make?
When you notice something, you become aware and “see” what was previously unnoticed or unseen. It’s been there all along, but something happened, and you suddenly paid attention to it.
It may be someone pointed it out, or you have put yourself in a state of mind to see it. You can do this by slowing down and paying attention to what people are saying and doing or what is happening. It can completely change how you see things around you.
Moving from Mindlessness to Mindfulness
“Mindfulness allows us to watch our thoughts, see how one thought leads to the next, decide if we’re heading down an unhealthy path, and, if so, let go and change directions.” Sharon Salzberg (1952-present)
How often has someone been speaking while you concentrated so hard on what you planned to say, you completely missed part of what they were saying? In this era of cell phones, have you been guilty of being so focused on the conversation you don’t hear or see what’s happening right in front of you? (Watch some YouTube videos of people on their phones and walking into objects for a good laugh.)
When things are hectic, STOP! When you find yourself triggered or lack focus, STOP, and try the following exercise.
- Purposely slow down.
- Bring your attention to the present moment.
- Pay attention using your senses. Notice what is going on around you. Listen to the sounds. What smells are present? What are you touching? Do you have a taste in your mouth?
- Focus on and control your breathing. Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose. Exhale slowly through your mouth.
- Continue breathing this way until you feel in control of yourself, becoming fully present.
- When your thoughts wander, bring them back to the present moment.
- What do you notice now? What is different?
“Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.” Nhat Hanh (1926–2022)
Make it a Habit
Practicing the above exercise more than once each day for a month can become a life-changer. For those who suffer from busyness and inattention, use mindfulness to reset your life. Transition from mindlessness to becoming mindful of your body and what is happening around you. Yes, you read that right! It is better to become mindful than remain mindless!
I now realize I was mindless of others when I was lost in my thoughts or focused elsewhere. That is not a good way to be.
Benefits
The key here is to slow down to begin to see more. This will change not only you but those around you as well.
You will come across to others as more caring, interested and interesting, personable, valued, and respectful. Be sure to practice being more mindful until it becomes a habit.
Don’t those you interact with daily deserve to be respected? Of course they do! When you take time to become more fully present, you will respect and value those around you and even your own life more.
“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” Nhat Hanh (1926–2022)
Final thoughts
It’s your choice. You can practice mindfulness in your life or choose not to.
Imagine the upside of practicing mindfulness for yourself, those you care about, and the possibilities for better relationships! Your life and theirs will change for the good, and who wouldn’t want that?
I leave you with a final thought from a true person of wisdom:
“If leaders today do not step back, to stop momentum, to gain perspective, to transcend the immediacies of life, and to accelerate their leadership, we will continue to crash economically, personally and collectively.” Kevin Cashman (1951-present)
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Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION
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