Humor
Funny Names Still Make Me Snicker
Touching Base with My Internal Adolescent Moron
I don’t know when it started, when funny names began waking up my inner adolescent moron and became an obsession. Maybe it was when I waited on a NASCAR driver in a small café outside of Brooklyn, Michigan. His name? Dick Trickle. Just typing it makes me snicker. Turns out, Dick’s a great guy, hilarious. Does everyone think so? Depends. If Mr. Trickle ever reads this, I want to thank him again for the autographed hat!
Nah . . . it happened before that. Probably in high school when I worked at a pharmacy. It was my job to type the info that goes on the pill label. A lady came up to my counter with a prescription for birth control, which was enough to make this sheltered, small town girl giggle. Then, I read her last name. Tinkle. No way! I saw a wedding band. She chose to be Mrs. Tinkle? I would have told the guy, “Urine crazy!” and kept my maiden name. I was an unpolished teenager and exploded with laughter, which really made my boss angry. His name was Harry, but that’s a story to comb through another day.
Years later, I moved to Toledo to finish my degree. At a crowded bar, a guy told me he’d had a vasectomy. His doctor’s name was Dick Tapper. True story. Dr. Richard Tapper, the urologist. Look it up. Over the next few years, I met several other men claiming to be patients of Dr. Tapper. Apparently, he has a rock-solid, steady stream of clientele. So these handful of men used their vasectomy stories as pick-up lines. They threw that little “snippet” out there like bait. I didn’t bite.
I’m a huge Michigan football fan. One of my favorite players was Jake Butt. Helluva tight end. Truth. He’s riding high now that he’s a Bronco. He’s still sore from an injury, but hopes to get back in the saddle this Fall. Wait a minute, I know what you’re thinking! But you’re wrong, it’s his knee!
My sweet little, long-haired Chihuahua’s name is Pippa. Middle name Potamus. (Now I sound like Bart Simpson pranking Moe’s tavern.)
But seriously, I’m over it. I’ve grown up. A lot. Did I tell you I was engaged? I am! His name is Sam Hill. Really. I swear! Anyway, we’re not planning to have children. Not yet, anyway. But if Gwyneth Paltrow can name her daughter Apple, we’re naming ours Blueberry.
Check out Tracy’s satire of an elderly woman fed up with quarantine — but not for the reasons you’d think!
This is a hilarious take on funny names from David Letterman!