Fun and Innovative Ways to Stop Men From Hitting on You

Wasting time telling men off? Start optimizing your day with these fun tips!

There’s simply nothing worse than trying to go about your day, getting tasks done and living your best life, when you’re rudely interrupted by a catcaller who thinks nothing would improve your day more than a shouted: “OI SEXY, YOU GOT NICE JUGS.”

Lots of folks find this kind of interaction stressful, stopping them from getting done what they need to get done! And men are only becoming bolder. They don’t hesitate to speak to you at bars when you’re meeting your pals, in libraries, ignoring the “shh!” from the librarians.

Recently I was working from home when a window cleaner wrote, “What’s ur #?” on the window I was peacefully gazing out of!

These days we are all about maximizing productivity and efficiency. Apply this attitude to your unwanted suitors and stop them before they even approach you!

Here, you’ll find some fun and exciting ways to stop men from ruining your day without needing to say a single word. Try mixing and matching for best results!

Wearing a huge wedding ring.

Wearing a wedding ring is a tried-and-true method of putting men off, because men wouldn’t dare flirt with a woman who belongs to another man. A man’s no means no.

But the problem arises when your fake wedding ring isn’t big enough to be seen when the men aren’t near enough. Men might still holler at you from afar, or come up to you if they spot it from a distance. How can you let them know you’re not interested without saying a word?

The solution: get a f*ck-off big ring, similar in size to a ring pop. The sparkle will blind men before they even get close to you, letting them know you already have a man in your life and which has the added benefit of giving you a few extra seconds to stage your escape, too!

The extra-large wedding ring trick is guaranteed to let you go about your day stress-free.

Producing a loud, intermittent wailing noise.

Ever felt like you couldn’t signal to enough men at once that you were not interested? Want to announce en masse all at once that you have things to do and don’t want to be interrupted by men thirsting for your attention?

Take a tip from the wise ambulance. The ambulance makes a nearly-intolerably loud noise continually, letting people know to get out of the way and to not stop them about their business! Why not do the same and simply wail loudly at regular intervals?

Tip: if you’re finding it too hard and tiring to make this noise, all you need to do is record yourself on your phone and play it at top volume when you spot men approaching you.

This fun, urgent noise will let men know you’re busy and don’t want to be interrupted without needing to interact with them at all.

But you won’t be allowed in libraries. Ah well, you win some you lose some.

Sporting fake fangs.

In this age of alternative facts, men may not know if vampires exist or not. Keep them off balance by wearing a cheap pair of fake fangs. Men know vampires don’t exist. Make them question their beliefs. While they are spinning in existential crisis they won’t be able to make annoying small talk.

Even better, they are more likely to stay out of your way on the off-chance you are a vampire. If they don’t fall for this fun prank, they’ll still think you’re a bit of a weirdo for wearing fangs out in public and keep away regardless. So you still get what you want.

Wearing an ancient, stained wedding dress.

This fun tip is inspired by the ever-popular Miss Havisham! Stay warm and stylish while warding off men in a slightly yellowed, obviously decrepit wedding dress that will advertise your status as a jilted bride. If it’s trailing stale, crunchy wedding cake crumbs, all the better.

The older the dress, the more likely you are to eschew the company of men without needing to waste a single precious minute of your day. Bonus: older styles including a bustle can physically knock pesky men aside without actually engaging with them.

Wearing a sensory deprivation hood.

Women have worn headphones to signal their disinterest to men since they were invented. Alas, the boys are growing ever-wiser to our ploys and have begun to interrupt women even when wearing headphones!

To make this trick work for you take it a step further and don a complete sensory deprivation hood. If the men notice that you can’t see, hear, smell or feel them, they will leave you alone and you can continue to contemplate the void in peaceful silence.

• *Special thanks to @sarahclazarus on Twitter for inspiring this story.

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