Fuck Your White Horse and Carriage
Could we have been more brainwashed as children sitting in front of the television watching movies where there was literally a “hwithe” rich savior prince rescuing the “hwithe” helpless damsel in distress?
Though it’s always worth mentioning, this article isn’t about the lack of a color palette of princesses going up. The gang of princesses is now somewhat more colorful than back in the day.
I actually believed in chivalry
You know, I actually believed that when I became an adult, the men in my life would be kind and chivalrous and want to marry me?
It was not taught to me how little boys in patriarchal societies would grow up to be hormonal young adults with more power and strategic manipulation affectionately called “games.”
Game
“Game.” A diluted version of its intent to coerce regardless of consent. The goal is sex. I can hear all the brainwashed dudes screaming; what’s wrong with sex?
Where these boys are like, “precisely.”
Not only did they teach us that those chivalrous loving men who wanted to rescue us existed, but they also failed to teach us as young girls boundaries.
How can we say No, if we were never taught how?
Generations of women have never been taught to say no and do it in a way that would protect them from being sexually assaulted.
They also failed to teach us survival skills, like recognizing red flags. Following the recognition of those red flags, you love yourself enough to run and run fast.
I remember being taught not to dress like a “slut” and whatever happens in a relationship, you stay and try to work it out.
What?!!!!!
Why were we never taught an Exit strategy? These are life skills for girls.
What were boys taught?
Were they taught not to rape? I don’t recall that topic in health class.
I remember health class covering the, do not get pregnant girl message. How antiquated, as if pregnancy involved one party.
Being blamed for being a woman and the actions of men has led to a world of traumatized and emotionally damaged women.
It’s also important to note that most girls and women fear men and groups of men. I think most men, especially those who deem themselves “good guys”, are very detached from the current climate that exists between genders in the world.
I can see the fear that exists in my daughter in high school. I warn both my daughters about being alone with boys and safety in general. The safety talk is only geared towards boys. I’m teaching them how not to get attacked and assaulted, because that is the world we live in.
I’ve seen grown men have the audacity to look at my daughters in my presence, and I can only imagine when I’m not around. It’s sickening.
Most girls will have their boundaries violated
It’s true. It doesn’t matter how old the girl is either. It could be a younger boy or an older man. Most young girls will experience having their boundaries grossly violated over and over again from a young age.
They will be gaslight into thinking, “it is not a big deal”. It will make them feel that boys and men have some sort of power where they can get away with accessing their space and person without permission.
Permission
We are always touched inappropriately. I had a guy over eighteen years old grab my vagina from behind, gripping it and holding it with his entire hand as I exited the backseat of a car. I was fourteen years old, a child.
I told no one or talked about it. There was another time I had my breast groped at a club when I was sixteen. He fully put all his fingers around my breast in a crowd of people. I never saw who it was.
I don’t know one woman who has escaped unscathed. When I was 4 years old, I was held down on a bed by an older boy, and again at twelve years old. I remember feeling they were stronger than me, and the utter powerless I felt was a sinking feeling. A feeling that I knew this was it, and something bad would happen.
As women, we can all understand when girls get assaulted and describe how they left their bodies.
These seemingly innocent thieves steal a piece of our soul, our heart, and our mind. That thievery cannot be proven in a court of law to the extent that the severest punishment is upheld.
A broken system that demands proof of a shattered soul and emotional trauma that will stay with us.
Good Guys
Have I had pleasant experiences with any good guys? I’ve had one or two in the dating world. They were good to me. Sadly, there are far more damaged ones that have led me to my decision not to put myself out there.
Switching teams
The rate at which women become bisexual or gay is staggering. The rate at which women choose to be single over dating is also increasing at alarming rates.
If you haven’t been paying attention, there is a war on TikTok. It’s a straight CIS man vs straight woman, Bi-women, Bi-men, and every homosexual, war.
What is up with these Podcasts?
What’s fascinating is all the straight men showing their true colors, not only on TikTok, but also on these men-only, let’s dehumanize all women podcasts. The freedom these misogynists have to pick up a mic without embarrassment or remorse is stupefying.
Their commentary is inflammatory, misinformed, misogynistic, always with heavy rape-y sprinkles on top. They are basically informing us of their true motives.
On the one hand, it is entertaining the clap back from TikTok influencers of both genders. On the other hand, this sickness and the lengths of manipulation and coercion without regard to consent are dangerous and distressing.
With the rise of dating apps on every corner, it’s finally coming out how large a population exists of these types of dangerous men that have no issues dehumanizing women.
We all drank the Kool-Aid.
Women everywhere knew this always existed. Now, the cat is out of the bag. This is everywhere. The horrifying reality is it’s far worse than we ever imagined. We all believed in the lie that developed progressive countries had a culture of more refined honorable men, not driven by the same psychological barriers of men in underdeveloped countries.
I’ve been writing letters about my adventures of dating for years. My update is worse than ever, and I have officially given updating apps. The emotional damage I experienced made me decide to quit dating. What saddens me is that my daughters are going through negative experiences with boys that they shouldn’t have at their age or ever.
Fuck the White Carriage. I’ve accepted it and I’m over it.
Where are the life classes specifically geared to young boys that teach them at an early age?
· How to not rape?
· What consent is?
· What inappropriate behavior looks like?
· What does groping look like?
· What coercion and manipulation are?
This should be ingrained and followed through in the school systems from the beginning of school through all college years. All boys are administered a psychological evaluation to look for signs of hate and aggression toward women. Imagine the friendly society that would exist.
Teach healthy courting and relationships. Boys and girls support groups on how to cope with hormones and teenage struggles. All teens should have good therapists and support groups.
When I say therapists, I mean ones that deal with somatic healing, shamans, energy workers, effective healers alongside traditional therapy.
Imagine a society where men were taught not to rape and assault women, and how to actually view women as human beings. Treating women as real humans is not to fix your voids and brokenness, but to be a proper partner.
Fuck your white carriage. I don’t need you to save me. I need you to save yourself.
Stefanie is a ghostwriter, travel writer, and entertainment journalist. She is also a soon-to-be-published romance indie author, she founded Dream Text Media. She is committed to breaking systemic barriers through inspired and entertaining writing. Black Exodus is her first Visual Storytelling piece. Where she documents and interviews BIPOC leaving America to live a more abundant life abroad in a new country and culture. Follow her one-on-one interviews with famous Thai celebrities from the BL industry on her YouTube channel @klovewithstefani. You can find her beautiful collection of healing journals available on Amazon @dreamtextmedia. You can follow Stefanie on Twitter, IG, and TikTok. @dreamtextmedia and @klovewithstefani.
Where to buy journals? Self-care and mental health check. We have your daily journals, bullet journals, notebooks, and diaries. Acceptance Journal: Media, Dream Text: Amazon.com: Books.