Frustrating “Treatments”

Summary

The article discusses the challenges and frustrations of dealing with ineffective treatments and interventions for physical and mental health conditions, emphasizing the difficulty of following common health advice when severely depressed.

Abstract

The author shares personal and observed experiences about the complexities of medical treatments leading to additional health issues, using the example of a hernia operation resulting in bladder problems, a UTI, and severe sepsis. The narrative extends to the struggle with depression, highlighting the counterintuitive nature of recommended self-care activities such as healthy eating and exercise when in the throes of depression. The article underscores the paradox that while these activities are known to prevent depression, they become incredibly challenging to execute for those who are already depressed. The author reflects on the debilitating nature of severe depression, which can render simple tasks impossible, and emphasizes the importance of patience and understanding from loved ones.

Opinions

The author believes that medication commercials highlight the potential for treatments to create additional problems.
There is a sentiment that depression can lead to isolation for many, yet the author experiences the opposite, seeking immediate company when feeling depressed.
The author suggests that medication may be necessary for depression but also points out the effectiveness of other interventions.
A strong opinion is expressed about the difficulty of following health advice, like eating well and exercising, during severe depression.
The author indicates that the pleasure derived from eating carbs can be short-lived and ultimately worsen the mood due to subsequent sugar crashes.
There is a sense of frustration and helplessness in being unable to perform simple tasks, like moving out of the sun, when experiencing severe depression.
The article conveys gratitude towards friends and loved ones who provide support without offering unsolicited advice, acknowledging the value of their patience and acceptance.

Frustrating “Treatments”

The kind that just doesn’t work

It is well-known that sometimes when you treat a condition, you create another problem. All you have to do is listen to the medication commercials and hear all the possible side effects.

My dad went through this recently. He had a hernia operation. That was successful, but for no known reason, it threw his bladder into chaos. He got a foley to relieve that, then got a UTI (most likely from the foley) and developed severe sepsis. The only way to treat that is with antibiotics, but they also had to drain the urine with the bacteria. Foley back in. If that’s not a vicious circle.

I was recently talking to a close friend about depression. I probably have known this for a long time, but I had never consciously articulated it. I don’t know any official statistics, but I think the majority of people who suffer from more severe bouts of depression tend to isolate themselves. Sometimes you don’t know for days or even weeks because you don’t see them or talk to them. For whatever reason, I am the opposite. I am like, “Hey! I’m depressed. I need you to get over here ASAP.” I have no idea why, it’s just the way it is.

After recently falling into record lows for myself, as well as interacting with people I love who also struggle, I am reminded of what I have been telling clients for years. Medication is definitely helpful and probably even required. There are a whole lot of other “interventions” that have been deemed useful as well. Most of them are common sense things that relate to health in general. Eat healthy (avoid sugar!). Exercise. Do activities that you love and/or fill you with pleasure. Interact with support people.

Here’s the frustrating part.

How the heck do you do any of those things when you are depressed? They are helpful in preventing depression. They might even be helpful if you struggle a bit with the blues but don’t really cross over into actual depression. But if you are really depressed? Forget it.

Eat healthy? Lots of people eat nothing. How can you when you don’t get out of bed? Lots of people eat crummy foods. I go back and forth between the two. Eating healthy requires more prep and work. If I am lucky enough to move around the house, I’m going to grab what is easy. AND… I’m going to eat what I like instead of what I should.

There’s another vicious cycle. Carbs taste great on the way down, sometimes briefly lifting my mood. Then you crash even harder after the sugar high goes away. Plus you feel bad about yourself because you know you are going to gain weight and not feel so great about your attractiveness level.

When I crashed a few weeks ago, I had gone out to the pool. I was out of earshot of Frankie (my 14-year-old) that way. Plus, I didn’t feel as bad about the friends who were staying with me if they were sitting in the sun. The problem was, I knew I was starting to get sunburned. It was also contributing to my light-headed feeling which then was adding to my panic symptoms. I knew it was happening, but I couldn’t move. Eventually, my peeps took a beach towel or two and soaked them in the pool water. They laid them over my body so I would at least stop getting burned.

If you’ve never experienced this kind of debilitating depression, that probably sounds crazy to you. How could you not just get up and walk back to the house? I remember a brief conversation about moving to the gazebo but that would have required moving furniture around. The mere thought paralyzed me. Way, way too hard.

Simple solutions. Impossible to do at certain moments in your life. Sure, do these things to get out of depression. Just know you probably can’t do them if you are depressed. Frustrating, to say the least.

If you love someone who struggles, please just be patient. Listen and listen some more. It will be tempting to offer a host of suggestions that would seem simple and possible for the average person. But trust me when I say, there are times when you just can’t.

Thanks again to my many friends and loved ones who sat and sat with me, and knew to put cool coverings on me. If you are loved by someone who can accept you at your lowest points, you are truly lucky. (Of course, when in the middle of your struggle, you might know it intellectually, but it won’t make a difference in the quality of your life at that moment.)

That’s ok because that kind of person sticks by you anyway.

I’m Darcy Thiel. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Adult Planning Specialist, End of Life Doula, and author. Feel free to check out my profile to hear more.