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Summary

The website content discusses a podcaster's explanation of why some Black men prefer to date outside their race, critiquing the societal and community dynamics that contribute to this phenomenon, as well as the impact on Black women.

Abstract

The article, titled "From the Mouths of Lames: Podcaster Discloses Why Black Men Date Outside Their Race," delves into the controversial topic of interracial dating preferences among Black men. It critically examines the reasons given by a podcaster for why Black men might choose partners from other races, including perceived feelings of love, financial success, and peace, as well as the trauma and poor decision-making attributed to Black women. The author challenges these views, pointing out the societal roles of men in community leadership, the historical divestment of Black men from the Black community, and the implications of colorism. The piece also questions the loyalty of Black men to Black women and suggests that Black women should consider men from other cultures who may offer more loyalty and support. The author emphasizes self-hatred as a root cause of some Black men's dating preferences and calls for acknowledgment of the significant number of Black men who do not seek Black partners. The article concludes with a call to action for Black women to prioritize their well-being and to recognize the patterns within the Black dating community.

Opinions

  • The author is critical of the podcaster's opinions, suggesting they are misguided and reflect a broader issue of Black men's divestment from the Black community.
  • There is a perception that Black men who date interracially do so because they feel unloved by Black women, view them as traumatized, or believe they make poor decisions.
  • The article highlights the role of men, particularly Black men, in shaping societal norms and community dynamics, and questions their commitment to improving the Black community.
  • The author points out the irony in Black men criticizing Black women for the state of the community while simultaneously choosing not to engage with or support Black women.
  • The piece suggests that some Black men are motivated by self-hatred and a desire to lighten their offspring's skin to avoid the perceived burden of Black skin.
  • It is argued that Black women should not limit themselves to Black men and should consider men from other cultures who may value loyalty and community commitment more highly.
  • The author expresses that the Black community must acknowledge the existence of men who are not interested in Black partners and suggests that Black women should act accordingly in their dating lives.
  • The article encourages Black women who have experienced trauma from dating to take time for healing before seeking new relationships.
  • The author promotes their content and projects, inviting readers to support their work through various platforms and to subscribe for further insights.

From the Mouths of Lames: Podcaster Discloses Why Black Men Date Outside Their Race

Here we go again…

Photo 108215871 | Podcast © Spaxia | Dreamstime.com

It's 2024, y'all.

I can't believe we're still having this conversation, but as I have stated plenty of times in the past, mention Black women and girls, and voila! I appear!

Recently, I was made aware of a podcast episode that included a Black man who had some opinions on why Black men date outside their race.

Obviously, I have some opinions about his opinions.

But First…

A Prerequisite

Before we delve into the specifics of yet another Black male with misguided opinions, I want to preface this by asking: What happened to the notion that Black women were just bitter and lying?

As a Black woman who has been candidly discussing this topic for quite some time, I have been constantly told that I imagined the very real fact that many Black men, especially the successful ones, tend to uplift other races of women over Black women.

Many of you have bombarded me with faux facts and figures about how "Statistically, Black men marry Black women above all others." Incidentally, at what rates are Black men getting married, to begin with?! Also, how successful are these marriages, and are these phenotypically Black women or women who technically qualify as Black? What role does colorism play in the decisions of who Black men marry?

Either way, there is plenty of evidence that Black men marry and date out far more than others, and not only that, but many of those who don’t date out seem to wish they could.

Of course, the latter is mostly my anecdotal opinion. Nevertheless, if you can use skewed facts and figures to "prove" your points, my first-hand experiences certainly should be valid.

Additionally, I'd just like to point out that this is not a debate. I am not trying to get anyone to change their minds or to advocate for Black women. Quite the contrary, I am writing this hoping that Black men who want to date out can live in their truths.

I realize that society is telling you that you should be more loyal to Black women, but I'm a firm believer in staying true to yourself. So, if you don't love Black women, don't try to date us, marry us, or even befriend us; go where you want and leave us alone!

Also, no matter if you're a man or woman, please stop gaslighting women who are bold enough to broach this topic. Black women aren't "bitter" for pointing out that many Black men are divested and have no loyalty to the community.

Now, Let's Look at the Podcast

According to this red pill podcaster, Black men date other races of women because:

  • Other races of women make them feel loved, unlike Black women.
  • They are high-earning.
  • Black women don't bring them peace.
  • Many Black women are traumatized by Black men's bad decisions.
  • Black women make bad decisions as well — they glorify Pookies and Ray Rays, which are the names of the most degenerate Black men. If Black women didn't do this, more Black men would want to be better leaders.

My Opinions on his Opinions…

First of all, imagine White or Mexican men saying they don't want their own women because they've made so many poor decisions as a collective that the average woman is too bitter to be loved.

Also, do realize that no matter how much we may hate it, men set the tone in society. They are the ones who make and enforce laws, and they are also the ones who create and implement the unofficial rules within the Black community.

So, rather than pushing tangible solutions to fix the community as a whole, these men have decided to go the easy route and date the women who have been appropriately treated by the men in their communities. OK, cool.

At the same time, let's also take some time to grasp the fact that these are the same men who have been pointing fingers at Black women for the state of the community they divested from decades ago.

Here's one example of how they've been spreading this message to anyone who would listen:

So, to recap, it's Black women's fault that men don't raise their kids properly or support them when doing so. It's also our fault that we may experience trauma because of it.

Also, as they gain access to more resources, they'd rather use them to attract women of other communities rather than focus on fixing the one they, their mothers, fathers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and children already belong to.

And even though, as leaders, they admit to regularly making poor decisions, it's still up to Black women to make better decisions by refusing to date the average, most accessible Black men.

Instead, we should all hold out for successful Black men. Yes, the same ones who he just said don't date Black women anyway. Lastly, they're not planning to lead the way; we all have to do better as a collective in order for things to change for the better.

Hopefully, you'll appreciate my following sentiment if you find this circular logic as dizzying as I do.

Black Women: Go where you're celebrated!

Now, I'm not saying there are no Black men out here celebrating Black women. So, if that's your experience, and you find the right one for you, I fully support that.

Nevertheless, I also feel the need to point out that there are lots of melanated men in the world, and most other communities actually have a moral code that includes being loyal to their women and children. So, it's entirely possible to get a "Black-ish man" from another community.

Outside of that, there are plenty of other cultures and races to choose from. Yes, I realize that most of us are incredibly race-loyal, but it's also possible that this is the reason many of us remain unwed.

Statistically, suppose we're all competing for the same successful Black men (incidentally, the least employed demographic in the country) who are actually interested in Black women. In that case, the odds are entirely not in our favor. In the meantime, men like those in these videos benefit as they can sift through an almost endless supply of single Black women.

Because of this perceived desirability, they also have their pick of women from other races. When we're talking about colorist men (many of whom hide it and use Black women they deem undesirable for sex and resources), this is another story entirely.

My Bottom Line

In all reality, no matter what they say, most Black men are fully aware of the negative impact they’ve left on the community. In the same way so many of them choose to start over with new families rather than mending the relationships with their existing ones; they also choose to leave the community rather than focus on the one they belong to.

Additionally, whether they admit it or not, the reason many Black men don’t want to date Black women is rooted is self-hatred. Many of them feel like wearing Black skin is a burden, so they gravitate towards those who can help them lighten their gene pools to prevent their kids from hating themselves as well.

Many Black men are known for denying or mistreating their darker skinned daughters, in particular.

I won’t get too far into why that happens, but suffice it to say, darkness is associated with masculinity.

At any rate, you’re free to agree with this podcaster. However, I want to point out that rather than pouring his wisdom into the Black collective, he has chosen to dedicate his life to giving Black men tips on how to continue to use women as stepping stones and supporting characters on their journeys to success.

Once again, I'm not here to debate. If you're surrounded by great Black men who love Black women, great! But many Black women aren't. If you're a Black man who maintains that he can't find a "good Black woman," sorry to hear that; please look elsewhere.

And if you are a Black woman who would rather be alone than date anything but an American Black male, I respect it, but do realize these men will never be that loyal to you.

I said all that to say that these men are so comfortable with disgracing Black women that they're literally shouting from the mountaintops about why they don't want or need to date you.

As far as trauma is concerned, I actually agree that a great deal of the Black community is traumatized overall. So, if you have been attracting toxic men, it may be time to take some time to yourself to heal before re-entering the dating pool.

Either way, I hope we can finally agree that there is a significant presence of men in the Black community who are not looking for Black partners. Act accordingly.

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Black Women
Interracial Relationships
Black Men
Black Community
Misogynoir
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