From Shame to Pride: A Story of Self-Discovery

Seven methods for moving from deficiencies to success

For years I have reached into my past personal history to draw lessons about what I wanted to improve about myself; This effort led to a greater sense of worthiness and self-respect.

The following essay details seven effective tactics for bringing about that change.

The Search for More Fulfillment

In my thirties, after graduate school, I need to find a more fulfilling life. The teacher role was not a good fit for me.

The quote below from J. M. Coetzee, the 2003 Nobel Prize winner, got me thinking about the different agencies I chose to bring about a new, more positive identity.

It was one of many inspirational quotes that pushed me forward in my journey of change.

Here is the quote: “If poetry is not to be the agency of his transfiguration from ignoble to noble, why bother with poetry at all?”

Agency

The term ‘agency’ clarifies that you need a means or method to make changes. And this is the case no matter what you choose as a purpose: more power, prestige, self-care, spiritual growth, or whatever.

I have worked and reworked this theme to settle on a plan now set in stone. This plan centers on finding ways to achieve more self-respect.

To execute this plan over the past twenty years, the following methods were essential to my progress.

Paths to Improvement

If you strive for personal changes, some of these methods may be suitable and save you time and wasted energy.

There are many ways to bring about personal change, but some of the major ways are:

· Set clear goals: Identify what you want to change and set clear goals to achieve it. Ensure your goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

For example, I chose weight loss as one pathway to self-improvement in self-care. I set specific goals about how much to lose and by when. I kept daily records to measure my progress and the period for the planned loss.

· Take small steps: Change can be overwhelming if you try to do too much too soon. Start with small steps and gradually increase the difficulty. Smoking cessation became a major effort with many failures at first.

With repeated failures, I kept up a program of different small-scale trials until the periods of nonsmoking grew longer and longer.

· Create a plan: Develop an action plan outlining the steps you need to take to achieve your goals. This will help you stay focused and motivated.

For example, in striving for sobriety, I planned to sustain the effort no matter how unsuccessful I was initially. Finally, after a medical emergency caused me to seek medical help, I finally stopped on a doctor’s orders

· Focus on your mindset: Your thoughts and beliefs impact your behavior. Work on changing your mindset and beliefs to support the change you want to make.

I tried different rationales to support my efforts at personal change. Only when I became aware of my deficit in self-worth did I focus on correcting that deficit to bring about progress.

· Seek support: Surround yourself with people who support and encourage personal growth. Seek advice and guidance from mentors or consultants who can help you achieve your goals.

In my case, I sought the help of coaches and therapists to help me identify developmental weaknesses that needed rectification. This meant a focus on raising self-confidence and learning to become more assertive.

· Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally for it is crucial for personal growth. Make sure you get enough sleep and exercise regularly.

As indicated above, I changed my diet and exercise routine for weight loss.

· Stay committed: Change can be difficult, and setbacks are inevitable. Stay committed to your goals and keep pushing forward, even when the going gets tough.

I still have uncompleted change efforts in posture and caffeine addiction. Yet, I remain committed to maintaining the effort.

The discrepancy between ideals and reality is painful; hence I stay motivated to succeed in these areas.

Personal Control and Self-discipline

In the areas above, I was striving for a goal reachable only by exercising personal control and self-discipline. In a word, I needed to regulate my inner and outer life.

I was striving for goals that entailed strenuous inner struggle to accomplish. Sometimes, I needed to manage cravings (for nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, and food).

In others, fear, doubt, and negative beliefs prevailed about dreadful things that might happen if I failed. Sometimes, it took me years of struggle to accomplish these goals.

Much progress was followed by regression, slipping back to be followed by new attempts. I must say, looking back, the road to follow a redemptive script was rocky

In Conclusion

The journey towards personal transformation and a more respectable identity is challenging. Through years of trial and error, I have discovered that setting clear goals, taking small steps, creating a plan, focusing on mindset, seeking support, practicing self-care, and staying committed are essential components of this journey. My experience demonstrates personal change requires self-discipline, self-regulation, and inner struggle. While the road to a higher plane may be difficult and filled with setbacks, staying committed and motivated is critical to achieving your goals.

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