From Overwhelmed to Master of My Own Self: My Transformation Journey

A Story of Saying No and Taking Control

As an IT Consultant, my days are filled with the dynamic energy of client projects. I enjoy designing and building complex Tech Solutions and collaborating with global teams in my organization for architecture workshops and brainstorming sessions. It’s a role that demands a lot of reading, continuous learning, and adaptability, and for a while, I took that to an extreme.

I prided myself on being the ultimate “Always yes for all”. Every project request, every meeting invite, every mentoring session, I accepted them all with a smile, eager to prove my unwavering dedication. I envisioned myself as the reliable hero, the one who could do it all. But what started as a badge of honor soon became a suffocating burden.

The manageable workload I once handled with ease turned into a crushing weight of Six Projects at once, each demanding my immediate attention. The vibrant colors of my once-organized calendar meant to showcase my efficiency became a battlefield of clashing commitments. Each notification felt like a tiny hammer blow, chipping away at my sense of control. The ever-growing list of tasks weighed heavily on me, looming like a constant threat. I was literally wiped!

Then came the inevitable, the day the double-booking monster reared its ugly head. It wasn’t unusual for my calendar to look like a battlefield, each slot often crammed with not just one, but four or five overlapping tasks. Back then, I saw it as a badge of honor, proof of my apparent productivity and constant dedication. In fact, the continuous demand, interpreted as a sign of obligation, created a false sense of self-satisfaction. Blinded by this self-constructed image, I carried on a mission impossible: attending both meetings simultaneously. Balancing a laptop on my knees and a phone pressed against my ear, I juggled conversations, desperately trying to appear present while feeling hopelessly lost in the chaos. It was a massive productivity disaster, an unexpected wake-up call to the burnout I was unintentionally fueling within myself.

The wake-up call arrived later that day, delivered by a concerned colleague — the Project Manager of one of the double-booked meetings. He called me after the meeting and his voice was mixed with disappointment and concern, informing me that he’d called my name repeatedly in the meeting, seeking an update on the tasks assigned to me. The silence on my end must have been deafening.

Shamefaced, I stammered out an explanation, pouring out the story of my overflowing schedule and misguided attempt to “balance” both meetings. I emphasized my dedication and desire to fulfill every demand, completely oblivious to the toll it was taking.

Honesty, while initially painful, proved to be a freeing reality. He gently reminded me, “We are human,” and that saying “No” to one of the meetings wasn’t a sign of weakness, but a necessary act of self-preservation. His parting advice, “If you’re double-booked, communicate and reschedule,” resonated deeply with me. It was a revelation, a permission slip to prioritize my wellbeing and reclaim control over my time.

This experience became a turning point. I started a journey to transform not just my work style, but my relationship with time itself. My first step was managing my calendar.

• Double bookings? Never again: As soon as a conflict arises, I communicate transparently with both parties and reschedule one of the meetings or simply reject one. My calendar reflects my true commitments, not just wishful thinking.
• “Focus time” is sacred: I block off specific slots in my calendar for uninterrupted deep work. This “me-time, as I call it” allows me to complete complex tasks without distractions, boosting my efficiency and focus.
• Managing the to-do list: Bulky to-do lists used to overwhelm me. Now, I break them down into smaller chunks, prioritizing the most important tasks first. This manageable approach keeps me on track and prevents me from feeling bogged down.
• Communicate and Ask for Help When Needed: This transformed mindset extends beyond my calendar. When faced with excessive workloads or conflicting deadlines, I no longer hesitate to seek assistance from my management. Openly discussing difficulties allows us to develop creative solutions and effectively distribute the workload. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; rather, it demonstrates trust, collaboration, and a desire to achieve the best possible outcome for all parties involved. Plus, it keeps my management informed if, you know, the project monster decides to rear its ugly head again, or escalate!

The Silent “Yes”

There’s one additional calendar secret I learned: silence isn’t always golden.

However, there is a painful reality: silence frequently speaks louder than words. A 2022 report by Cisco [1] discovered that over one-third (36%) of meeting attendees don’t respond to their invites, leaving organizers in the dark about confirmed attendance. This pervasive “silent yes” phenomenon creates confusion, a false feeling of acceptance, and ultimately fuels a culture of unproductive meetings.

Instead of falling into the silent trap, I actively manage my calendar and communicate clearly. Responding quickly, even when declining an invitation, promotes honesty and respect for everyone’s time.

Being Clear and Respectful

I found that saying “No” to a meeting request doesn’t have to be awkward. A simple and respectful explanation of my unavailability goes a long way. My colleagues truly appreciated my honesty and transparency when I started doing this.

Taming the Workload Beast

Next, I tackled the overwhelming workload by chunking it down:

• Bite-sized success: I realized the “five-minute rule” is also applicable here! Tasks requiring less than five minutes are immediately flagged and completed, preventing them from piling up on my plate.
• The Pomodoro power: For larger tasks, I leverage the Pomodoro Technique. This strategy calls for working in a focused 25-minute slot with brief pauses in between each session. It’s like a mental workout for me, keeping me motivated and minimizing fatigue.
• Forest, my productivity oasis: I discovered a gem called Forest, a time tracking app available on the App Store and Google Play, which gamifies focus. While working on a 25-minute Pomodoro session, I plant a virtual seed in the app. Staying focused allows my seed to grow into a beautiful tree. If I succumb to distractions, the seed withers. This playful approach adds a layer of motivation to my productivity routine.

My journey from “Always yes” to master of my time was difficult, but it was transforming. It taught me an important lesson: saying no is not selfish; it is necessary for self-esteem, productivity, and, ultimately, a healthier, happier work-life balance.

Remember that managing your time is an ongoing routine. Be nice to yourself, try different ways, and see what works best for you. Taking control of your schedule allows you to recharge your energy, increase your productivity, and achieve a satisfying work-life balance.

Reference [1]: https://www.webex.com/meetings.html