Noodle Inspiration / Do You Send Yourself Emails?
From Me to Me
a poem of liberation
I emailed myself because you didn’t or wouldn’t — not couldn’t — I know you can, choosing silence over explanations, ruminations, confrontations.
I emailed myself so my inbox wouldn’t sigh in resignation, a whispered sad deflation of heady expectations, or muffled cries of niggly vexations.
I emailed myself to start the day on the positive, a cheery note of encouragement, providing emotional nourishment after erasing your words of daily disparagement.
I emailed myself, not lame or sad, not a sign of loneliness, but a badge of oneliness preferring the me without you to the me who needed you.
I emailed myself, celebrating my singularity, honoring my individuality and my imperfect normality, while releasing your insincerity, I bask in newfound clarity.
I changed my Facebook status, not a short-term hiatus, deleted photos of what was us, trash-canned your email contact, done deal, the final act, I won’t be looking back.
No, Captain Argentina, this is not about us!
Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她), your poem reminded me of a book I’m reading about a couple who are separated and must rely on emails to stay in contact. Although their relationship was not threatened by those messages, they contribute to a general feeling of distrust already birthed by an earlier unclear conversation. You and that book were my inspirations for this poem. It is not autobiographical!!
And, this is the poem by Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她) that inspired this poetic response that actually doesn’t relate to her question:
