From Head to Toe — 9 Ways Narcissistic Abuse Can Mess With Your Health

And why it’s vital to recognize these signs as early as possible

Did you even know that being subjected to narcissistic abuse, especially for long periods of time, has devastating effects not only on your mental health but also on your physical one?

Neuroscientists have discovered that long-term narcissistic abuse can lead to actual physical brain damage — damage that is even visible on brain scans. On top of this, there are a myriad of other issues that victims of narcissistic abuse have to deal with, such as depression, mood swings, irritability, anxiety, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress syndrome, a sense of worthlessness, and the list goes on — unfortunately.

I won’t talk about all of the above. Not now, at least. I consider that they’re mentioned by many people these days, and we all hear about them since it’s somehow natural to connect trauma and abuse with extreme reactions in our brains.

I will focus instead on shedding some light on a topic that is less presented and stems from narcissistic abuse too. I’m talking about the physical response of our bodies during or after narcissistic relationships. I would like to mention that I went through this and experienced first-hand everything I’m about to mention further. At the time, I was unaware of the reason behind everything I was experiencing, and it took me a long time to connect the dots and realize what the actual reason behind my suffering was.

1. Extreme fatigue I am not talking about just feeling tired after a sleepless night. I’m talking about getting at least 7–8 hours of sleep and waking up every day feeling more and more tired, to the point where you can’t focus on the things people are telling you while you’re having a conversation or reaching a point where you refuse driving because you know it’s straight out dangerous since your eyes could shut at any moment. It’s more than just physical exhaustion because it combines with mental drain. No matter how much you try to recover the sleep you think you lack, no matter how much coffee you drink during the day or how many vitamins and supplements you take, you just feel depleted of energy.
2. Insomnia/sleep disruption Eventually, you become unable to rest. Which is so crazy because you feel like you are exhausted, so the only normal thing you can do to recover is sleep. And you try, and try… and try some more. All you get instead is a lot of frustration, and you start blaming yourself for not being able to relax and sleep.
3. Headaches As a direct result of the first two things I mentioned above, in combination with the emotional abuse you have to endure on and on, headaches will become your daily companion. Nothing can shake them, nothing can make them go away. To get an idea about how bad they can get, think about things like the doorbell feeling like that Chinese drip torture method whenever it rings, which would turn your headache into pure hell. Or just opening the curtains to get some sunlight amping the intensity of your headache so much, making you feel like a vampire disintegrating once their face was touched by the rays of the sun. The pain is unbelievable, and the painkillers have no effect on it.
4. Loss of appetite You lose weight at an insane rate while you’re in the middle of an abusive relationship. Your appetite is plummeting, and you force yourself to eat to stay alive. Each spoon of food is tasteless and makes you want to throw up, so you don’t manage to eat more than 2–3 bites of anything. Your favorite food seems bland, and even drinking water seems like a hassle in the end.
5. Nausea If you add together all of the above, what do you think you get as a result? Yes, you’re right. Nausea, and this makes me roll my eyes just remembering how it felt. I haven’t experienced nausea as a pregnancy symptom at all, but it’s such a familiar thing since I dealt with it for long periods as a result of a poor diet, a lack of sleep, and terrible headaches.
6. Acne If you ask me, this is the most visible of all these physical problems caused by narcissistic abuse. It’s very common for victims of abusive partners to develop acne, and sadly, people fail to realize there’s a direct correlation between living under high levels of stress, such as being with an abusive partner, and acne. It was extremely unpleasant to experience this, as I have never had skin problems, not even during my teenage years. This type of acne doesn’t affect just the face but can expand on your shoulders, chest, and, most often, your back.
7. Hair loss It’s hard to see yourself so changed when you look at yourself in the mirror. You understand something is wrong, and you realize how different you look, from the dark circles around your eyes and the acne covering your skin to the loss of that beautiful hair your mother loves. It’s really like a chain of events, one leading to another. No proper rest, no proper nutrients, high levels of stress… How can your hair stay healthy under these harsh circumstances?
8. Body aches You get up from the bed, and your body is just sore. You get muscle twitches, and your feet or hands go numb out of the blue. You feel like your body is deteriorating every day, and you still can’t pinpoint the reason or do anything to stop it or change it.
9. Digestion problems The worst thing I have experienced during this shady period of my life is related to the digestive system. It’s well known the fact that ongoing state of stress will affect the health of our gut. From bloating to episodes of diarrhea and constipation, I felt like I was going to lose my mind because of this particular issue. I was waking up at night to run to the bathroom. I was afraid to eat while I was out because not even 2 minutes later I would have to go to the toilet. And the pain… The pain was something awful. I went to so many doctors, and not one of them could tell me what was wrong. They said I had all the symptoms of IBS, yet tests were not conclusive, and diet changes didn’t help me at all. I admit I had moments when I truly believed I had some incurable disease and thought I was going to die because doctors couldn’t help me and my symptoms were getting worse every day.

I didn’t see the link between narcissistic abuse and the above issues for quite some time. A few months after I separated from my ex-husband, I started noticing some changes. And that’s when it dawned on me, and I started doing some research about how our bodies react to abuse. And I was taken aback. Of course, the doctors wouldn’t know the cause of my symptoms since I was hiding all the abuse, and in public, I was doing my best to keep intact that image of a perfect family.

Our bodies are strong, yes, but they are so fragile at the same time. I urge everyone to pay attention to their bodies and listen to what they’re trying to say. Stop ignoring the signs that tell you when something is not right and above all, trust your instinct. Be brave enough to stand up for yourself and make those changes that will ensure a healthy and positive development for yourself. There is nothing more important than your well-being.

If you like the above story, you can buy me a coffee to fuel my passion and keep me going. Thank you!