From Being Teacher to Be Being Taught

My fitness journey — Crows Feet Prompt #44

Not really a jock, but I played most sports during adolescence. Post high school, I dabbled in volleyball, tennis, and minored in ping pong. Later golf, bowling, and soft ball rounded out my athletic endeavors. Participated in a few 5K runs as well.

Then came adult dance aerobics and that stuck long term. I obtained certification as an instructor. I taught in various venues for 10 years. High impact, step, dance and box-aerobics. I loved developing choreography and teaching all manner of classes — from the young energetic to the older exercisers.

Then came a full-time, 8–5 career, a motor vehicle accident, and a freak fall. I kept jogging after getting the day job and continued exercising at home in the evenings after work. I remained fit.

When my car was totaled, I suffered a soft tissue injury to my right leg, and my jogging days came to an abrupt end. I had continued step aerobics at home, and that stopped as well. Too much stress on my knees. I carried on with weight training, however, and stationary bike work outs.

Along the way, I had discovered Jazzercise. I loved the high energy dancing. I stood in front of the group, sweating to current and classic tunes. As a former instructor, I prided myself on the ease with which I learned the steps. I surpassed the younger folk's stamina to sustain 60 minutes of an intense workout.

Jazzercise always offers low-impact alternative moves, but I relished the endorphin high of skipping, kicking, and jumping. I had a hop in my back ball change, and spring in my grapevine.

A freak fall that fractured my left knee sidelined me from all aerobic activity for a long while. It took months before I could pedal a forward rotation on the stationary bike. I lost confidence in my ability to move like I loved to do. What bodies are designed to do. I participated in physical therapy to restore muscle and joint movement, but my range of motion now in both legs became limited.

The journey back to Jazzercise was slow. I continued the exercises I learned in physical therapy at home. I eventually dug out and moved to low-impact aerobics VHS tapes I collected over the years. Lateral motion posed a challenge to my dancing. I found I had to adjust with alternative movements. I could mambo but my sideway chasse suffered. Arthritis developed in my left leg as promised by the orthopedic surgeon. Some moves hurt my joints as well as my pride. I lost the jump in my jumping jacks.

I was not the aerobicizer I once was. Not an easy pill to swallow. I taught killer classes back in the day. Motivating students to challenge their muscles, helping to build endurance, balance and strength. Even after gaining back most lost abilities, I felt diminished. Frankly, I was embarrassed to return to the gym.

Eventually I mustered up the courage to return to in person classes and then Covid hit. We social distanced and sheltered in place. With the online option on the table, I could once again exercise in the safety of my own home. Although I possess the self-discipline to work out daily, I sometimes lack the motivation to challenge my own muscles like I once did my students.

There was a level of fear of re-injury or pain as well. Therefore, I modified movements to suit my mood, often not pushing myself to the limits of my physical potential. Cautious. Even though the pandemic has ended, and social distancing has gradually disappeared, I remained with my solitary in home aerobic and anaerobic activity.

Today, I hem-hawed around, and posed various mental excuses not to attend the local Jazzercise annual (43rd) Halloween Boo-ga-Loo Bash. I’ve never been to the new gym location. Would I find my usual spot, now in the back? Where do I park and enter? But more importantly, could I keep up with young and older exercisers?

In the end, I went. The collective energy of the group had me “dance like no one was watching.” The instructor motivated us with humor, snappy patter, and great holiday music.

I had forgotten the fun of being in the room with fitness enthusiasts. I skipped, hopped, and even jumped. I mis-stepped at times. And I know my limitations. There are still range of motion issues. I avoid floor work. Years of my body compensating for my leg injuries, affected my back. As a psychiatrist once aptly put it, “the body keeps the score.”

Although I have the strength to do pushups, my joints prefer I stand up rather than get down on a mat. So, I unselfconsciously stood in the back row when the group took to the floor. I performed alternative strength training movements along with others in the class with similar limitations.

As a teacher, I encouraged everyone to do the best they could. Yet pushed them to challenge their bodies to do more a little at a time. As a student, I appreciate the instructor doing the same, cajoling me out my comfort zone — motivating me to move — more than I do myself.

I am going back next Saturday.