Freedom-versary

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Abstract

hing that actually really made me think as well as smile. She said, “Freedom-anniversary, or Freedom-versary.”It actually really made my heart feel full. I felt recognized by my sister and seen. She understood what getting divorced from that man meant to me.When I first got divorced, I remember sitting at the family dinner table for Thanksgiving. Everyone was there, including extended family, and almost all were partnered and married. I don’t know what brought on the topic, but knowing I was sitting right there, my mother had broadcasted that it’s not right for kids to be raised without a mother and a father.I had two kids.It was right after my divorce and after all of the gaslighting, I had to fight through about how horrible of a mother I would be to break the marriage to leave when he was physically and mentally abusing me to the point that I was terrified of him. I was a shell when I left that marriage, and those words

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were a judgmental punch to me.“I’m sorry, it’s just what I believe.”But what my sister saw, was the truth of what leaving that marriage and man meant to me. It was freedom.Literal freedom.I had been a prisoner there, worked day and night, hurt, and worn down until I was nothing of a person, but some little broken thing with no soul left anymore.I was shattered.The day I left that man, was the first day I started to find my own sense of freedom — freedom of self and who I was meant to be. It was the beginning of a remarkable journey and the best life in store for me.Freedom-versary.So often these celebrations and dates revolve so much around partnership love, and marriage, as if that is the end-all goal of everything, but what about self-love? What about being free?I’m going to start celebrating Freedom-versary.</article></body>

Celebrating the anniversary of the day you claimed freedom from marriage.

Today my phone blew up with messages from my father reminding all of us that my mother and he were celebrating their fiftieth anniversary soon, and my younger brother chimed in that his, was today. We had a bit of a laugh at that when I randomly decided to say that I should celebrate my reverse anniversary.

I had been joking at the time, not even purposely deflecting the fact that all of them are married and I was the only one in the family who was divorced, but my sister responded with something that actually really made me think as well as smile. She said, “Freedom-anniversary, or Freedom-versary.”

It actually really made my heart feel full. I felt recognized by my sister and seen. She understood what getting divorced from that man meant to me.

When I first got divorced, I remember sitting at the family dinner table for Thanksgiving. Everyone was there, including extended family, and almost all were partnered and married. I don’t know what brought on the topic, but knowing I was sitting right there, my mother had broadcasted that it’s not right for kids to be raised without a mother and a father.

I had two kids.

It was right after my divorce and after all of the gaslighting, I had to fight through about how horrible of a mother I would be to break the marriage to leave when he was physically and mentally abusing me to the point that I was terrified of him. I was a shell when I left that marriage, and those words were a judgmental punch to me.

“I’m sorry, it’s just what I believe.”

But what my sister saw, was the truth of what leaving that marriage and man meant to me. It was freedom.

Literal freedom.

I had been a prisoner there, worked day and night, hurt, and worn down until I was nothing of a person, but some little broken thing with no soul left anymore.

I was shattered.

The day I left that man, was the first day I started to find my own sense of freedom — freedom of self and who I was meant to be. It was the beginning of a remarkable journey and the best life in store for me.

Freedom-versary.

So often these celebrations and dates revolve so much around partnership love, and marriage, as if that is the end-all goal of everything, but what about self-love? What about being free?

I’m going to start celebrating Freedom-versary.