4 Rare Habits That Separate Men From Boys

An important aspect of manhood is emotional maturity.

“Emotional maturity is hard to maintain without maturity in other aspects of your life. Thus, if you are not in control of the situation, it is easy to become overwhelmed by life.”―Charlotte Maloney

As a kid, I was told that you become a man as soon as you reach the age of eighteen. Once you were old enough to buy a drink at the bar, you had reached full-status manhood. If you could do that, you could do pretty much anything.

But once I started to navigate the world as a fully-grown adult, I noticed a massive problem with my previous way of thinking: a lot of men still act like boys.

Sure, a lot of adults might have an awesome beard and a driving license. Heck, they may also go drinking with their buddies at the bar every weekend as a means of escape from their daily life.

But in my view, none of those things truly makes them men. Why? Because an essential aspect of manhood is emotional maturity. Without that, they’re just boys in a grown-up’s body. So without further delay, here are four rare traits that separate men from boys.

Men Earn Respect Instead Of Craving It.

Boys are often on a mission to make others respect them. Instead of doing something out of the kindness out of their heart, they do things because there is a potential reward at the end — usually in the form of respect from another person.

I was having a conversation with a high-school friend last night on Zoom. He told me how he’d buy groceries and then film himself giving them to homeless people on the streets of his town. He told me how he craved the respect that other people gave him for doing things like that. So naturally, he did them whenever he got an opportunity.

In contrast, men that are emotionally mature naturally gain respect from other people. They hold the door open, smile at strangers in the street, and do many other little things that can create a big impact. Respect from other people isn’t something they actively seek. Instead, it’s often a byproduct of their daily actions.

Men Are Confident Instead Of Insecure.

Boys often spend a lot of time obsessing over their appearance. They find validation in compliments from other people, and thus, they do whatever they can to obtain them.

I’ll give you an example. I used to have a friend who posted pictures on Instagram every day of his abs just to receive comments from women saying, “how hot he looks all the time.” He told me that he found validation in that and craved it.

Men that are emotionally mature do the opposite. Instead of finding validation from other people, they find it in themselves. They have the confidence to succeed in everything they do — without needing attention or validation from other people.

Men Look After Women Instead Of Chasing Them.

I’ve recently noticed many guys treat their dating life like a venture capital fund. In essence, they talk to ten women at once, with the hope that one of them will stick around for an intimate relationship. But as a result of not investing sufficient time or energy into anybody they talk to, that strategy rarely works out. Hence why it’s a dating strategy for boys.

Emotionally mature men do the opposite. Instead of chasing a woman, they support her in whatever they can. Whether it’s something small like cooking breakfast or going on a nice day trip, men try to look after their partner to the best of their ability.

Men Find Solutions Instead Of Arguing Over Problems.

Boys love fighting over little things. Whenever they disagree with someone, they’ll often focus on the differences in opinion instead of trying to find common ground.

Admittedly, I used to be like that. During my teenage years, I had a terrible habit of arguing with people because I had an inner desire to be right all the time. I was pretty stubborn.

Now, I’m different. Whenever I encounter an obstacle, I figure out the easiest and most efficient way to overcome it. In essence, I do whatever I can to find solutions during every moment of adversity.

That’s how emotionally mature men try to act every day. Instead of arguing why a branch is in the middle of the path, they climb over it and keep walking. Then, they move the branch out of the way to provide a clearer path for others.

Men earn respect and do their best to find solutions whenever they face obstacles in life. They have confidence and actively try to make their partner incredibly happy.

If you take a moment to think about it, none of those things are incredibly complicated. However, once implemented, each of them has the power to make a huge impact.

I’m going to leave you with a beautiful quote from Luigi Pirandello who perfectly sums up what I’m saying:

“Anyone can be heroic from time to time, but a gentleman is something you have to be all the time.”

Want to be notified whenever I publish a new article? Click here.