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Four of the Raddest Things About Childhood Today

A Few Of The Cool-Ass, New(ish) Phenomena We Millennial Kids Never Saw Coming

It’s a truism that childing today is far less awesome than it was in the 80s. People who grew up in that decade — or in even more ancient times — played their hearts out ‘till the sun went to sleep.

Then they used Tab as mouthwash or whatever and smoked a doobie before bed, to hear them tell the tale.

But in reality? Some stuff’s better now.

For example, did Gen Xers or millennial kids get to hear the sounds of a hovering UFO at the bus stop? If you’ve ever listened to the low-whistle whirr of a brand-new, all-electric school bus, you’ll know what I mean.

Unanticipated news item of the decade: *THE BUS IS COOL NOW.*

Back That Gas Up

It’s not just the snazzy blue trim or the lack of dirty-ass fumes that make EV buses rad. The electric bus at Bonny Doon School is so quiet and unassuming that when it backs up, a calming little song plays, just like those “morning-calisthenics” tunes at large Japanese corporations.

American kids like peace and silence, right?

Why didn’t the bus’ design engineers go with the classic “backup beep” thing? Probably because there’s no diesel growl for context. If an EV bus made those deafening beeps, the noise would come out of nowhere and scare the bejeezus out of the whole teacher’s lounge.

These bus’ stats back up their upfront costs. According to National Grid [external link], an e-bus gets almost 21 miles per diesel gallon equivalent (versus the old-school bus’ 8). They’re also WAY cheaper to maintain.

The caveat to the coolness of the new-school kid transport is this: there are hardly any fucking buses anymore — at least in California, where I live. (Yay for state budget cuts to public ed!)

But due to California Climate Investments funding, net emissions — from the rural community buses that are left, anyway — are going down. CA also leads the way in terms of overall number of EV buses.

See? We’re at the epicenter of the cool.

Funner Clothes (Mostly!)

Okay, so the 80s probably had cooler socks. I’ll admit that those Feejays thingies and other lower-extremity threads’ve got nothin’ on these:

But there are some seriously fun clothes for kids out there nowadays. Childhood fashion is ubiquitous. Target is cool, for one thing!

Note: Back in ’95 I was forced to shop at Target and it was NOT yet cool.

There’s more gender neutrality and/or fluidity in clothing, too. It’s no coincidence that kids truly end up liking what they wear.

Maybe it’s because we live in Santa Cruz. But I know several little boys who wear sparkly, purple shoes. My nine-year-old thinks nothing of wearing pink. And it’s socially acceptable for any age, sex, or orientation to wear “furry” hats and hoods with animal ears.

Innocuous quirkwear like this used to be “for weirdos.” Had a male-presenting child shown up at my early-90s elementary school in nail polish and a Cinderella dress, there would have been teasing to the point of tears.

I am an (*cough*) elder millennial. In my era there weren’t as many “acceptable” choices for kids’ and tweens’ apparel. But when I was a kid, I would rather have been dangled facedown over a moist pile of dog crap than wear the same damn jacket every day — even if it DID have a dinosaur-costumey feel.

And yet, my kid loves his threads so much that there hasn’t been a picture of Andy in over a year without his dino jacket. Simple joys do occasionally come on a hanger.

The Pump Track

What the in speed-bumped heck is a pump track?

Mountain biking enthusiasts know. It’s a place you can practice your maneuvering skills without even laying foot to pedal. It’s better than a skatepark or BMX track, because — while not everyone has a skateboard or specialty stunt bike — a lot of us have normal bikes. (See this online mag [external link] for more info.)

In the West Coast kiddies’ vernacular, the pump track is sick. And it’s cheap community recreation. All you need to build one of these is dirt! Look for pump tracks to become a bigger thing — even in non-mountainous locales.

Along with the resurgence of 70s/80s-era playground slides like this, I think we’re taking steps against the youth obesity crisis.

Vintage physics lesson on momentum, anyone?

Some (But Definitely Not All!) Things About Schools

Mass shootings are a near-constant threat to kids’ safety. Public education is woefully underfunded in many places. A lot of things are sucking pretty badly in the 2023 schoolyard.

Still, there is more parental investment in school choice [external link] than there was in the 90s. “Post”-pandemic classrooms are seeing improved dynamics with more adult helpers, and there’s another big shift: parents have an increased focus on young people’s mental health [external link].

Now, I’m all in favor of being a 1970s-style, non-helicoptering mom. Don’t get me wrong — you’ll never see me go so far as to homeschool my children! But parent engagement does tend to lead to better educational outcomes and more pro-social behavior [source; external link].

And from where I’m sitting, parent involvement is on the rise.

Granted, parents have to do significant amounts of unpaid labor to keep things afloat. But that was a thing in decades past, too. And anyway, SAHMs just sit on their asses all day and watch Three’s Company reruns. Right?

Unless your daddy is Dog the Bounty Hunter, teachers appreciate it when parents offer to help out, though.

Just don’t wear your dog-ears hoodie, Dad.

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