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Abstract

was a very fun game everyone in the town wanted to join and play. You were not required any prior qualifications or experience to join this game as it was a basic game of hiding and running. But to join this game you need to get permission from the leader of the game. That’s the hardest part.This leader is very result-oriented, in this case, to win the game. She stayed focused and due to this, she sounded demanding. She liked to feel in control and only chose the people who could deliver the result.Fortunately, or unfortunately this game leader was me. I had a direct communication style, where I was result-oriented, demanding and wanted to feel in control. And I turn away people if I thought they were not good enough.Not only at 44 in general, my communication style was direct. I usually measure progress by achievements and was motivated by challenges.Though this direct communication style helped me to win the game and many other aspects of life, I understood this won’t help me to win people. No one wanted to reach me as I was dominant and difficult to convince.I decided to blend and interact with people. Above all I wanted to make friends.As I moved on, I joined a Sunday school as a teaching volunteer. Initially, I got a class of grade 4. I was so excited to meet children and teach them. But they were very small and tiny. I had no idea how can I teach anything to them.Being a natural direct communicator, I commanded them, Okay take your books and write this

Options

down. As soon as I said this, they came up with 100 questions.Teacher Can I write with a pen or pencil? Can I start writing on a new page? Can I underline the topics with a colored pen? Above all the golden question teacher may I go to the toilet. My direct communication style was redundant. I was required to be a good listener, and wanted to be more approachable, cooperative and dependable.So those are the elements of supportive communication style. Step by step I was able to be open and approachable. Through that I was able to help many students as a teacher and as a mentor. And I am happy to mention I became one of the most favorite teachers of them.After many years if you ask me whether I regret the game 44. Of course not, I was the undisputed leader of 44. And if you ask me what’s the happiest thing I have ever done. That was to teach the students of grade 4.As per my understanding, I am naturally a direct communicator as I am usually result oriented and achievement focused. But I am in the process of adopting to be a supportive communicator which is to focus on people.What I learnt was, whatever the communication style you have, whether it’s direct, supportive, initiating or analytical, it needs to help ourselves to improve as well as others to do things better.Hence for me my direct communication style, which showed in 44 and my supportive communication style reflected at grade 4 are equally important. Because both styles helped me to be who I am.</article></body>

Forty-Four vs Grade Four

Our Communication Styles

During our school time, we used to play different kind of games. But the all-time favorite game was forty four (44).

This game called 44, was more or less like a hide and seek. There were one or two seekers while all the others hide. The seekers were always around the 44. This 44 could be a tree, could be a wall, or anything in that nature.

The seekers would close their eyes and count from 1 to 100 while all the other participants need to hide.

Once the count was over seekers were trying to find the others. The tricky part was that seekers never leave the 44 and they always stay around. If by any chance seeker found a hider, she needs to shout her name and hit the 44.

For example, if I was the seeker and if I saw one of my friends, I would shout his/her name and say 44. And then you are out of the game. If the seekers were able to find all the hiders seekers win. Similarly, if hiders reach the 44 they win the game.

Similarly, hiders are also required to creep and reach the 44. If a hider hits the 44 seekers lose and hiders win.

Since this was a very fun game everyone in the town wanted to join and play. You were not required any prior qualifications or experience to join this game as it was a basic game of hiding and running. But to join this game you need to get permission from the leader of the game. That’s the hardest part.

This leader is very result-oriented, in this case, to win the game. She stayed focused and due to this, she sounded demanding. She liked to feel in control and only chose the people who could deliver the result.

Fortunately, or unfortunately this game leader was me. I had a direct communication style, where I was result-oriented, demanding and wanted to feel in control. And I turn away people if I thought they were not good enough.

Not only at 44 in general, my communication style was direct. I usually measure progress by achievements and was motivated by challenges.

Though this direct communication style helped me to win the game and many other aspects of life, I understood this won’t help me to win people. No one wanted to reach me as I was dominant and difficult to convince.

I decided to blend and interact with people. Above all I wanted to make friends.

As I moved on, I joined a Sunday school as a teaching volunteer. Initially, I got a class of grade 4. I was so excited to meet children and teach them. But they were very small and tiny. I had no idea how can I teach anything to them.

Being a natural direct communicator, I commanded them, Okay take your books and write this down. As soon as I said this, they came up with 100 questions.

Teacher Can I write with a pen or pencil? Can I start writing on a new page? Can I underline the topics with a colored pen? Above all the golden question teacher may I go to the toilet. My direct communication style was redundant. I was required to be a good listener, and wanted to be more approachable, cooperative and dependable.

So those are the elements of supportive communication style. Step by step I was able to be open and approachable. Through that I was able to help many students as a teacher and as a mentor. And I am happy to mention I became one of the most favorite teachers of them.

After many years if you ask me whether I regret the game 44. Of course not, I was the undisputed leader of 44. And if you ask me what’s the happiest thing I have ever done. That was to teach the students of grade 4.

As per my understanding, I am naturally a direct communicator as I am usually result oriented and achievement focused. But I am in the process of adopting to be a supportive communicator which is to focus on people.

What I learnt was, whatever the communication style you have, whether it’s direct, supportive, initiating or analytical, it needs to help ourselves to improve as well as others to do things better.

Hence for me my direct communication style, which showed in 44 and my supportive communication style reflected at grade 4 are equally important. Because both styles helped me to be who I am.