Forgotten Drafts

A Safety Net.

I have a pile of drafts scattered about — in my notes app, in my Medium drafts, jotted down in a notebook.

Some of the ones in Medium haven’t been touched in almost 30 days. But every day I look at them, and some days when I’m feeling inspired by one, I open it up and start writing.

Some are just ideas, between five and ten words long, all of which comprise the titles.

Some have a one or two minute read time because I started them, didn’t feel much inspiration, and closed out the window. This is for another day, I tell myself. Will that day ever come? Who knows?

I deleted one once though, and a few weeks later I completely regretted it. I tried to start the story over but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t all there as it had been the first time.

While there are some days I become completely overwhelmed by my drafts, I know I couldn’t make due anymore without them. And while there are so many of them and they’re literally everywhere, I’ll never delete another one ever again. Lesson learned on that front.

Last night as I was falling asleep, I came up with two ideas: this one and “The World After COVID — a poem”.

I was already having trouble falling asleep and it was nearing midnight, so I told myself, “Don’t pick up your phone, you can jot your thoughts down in the morning”, but the writer in me won out.

I picked up my phone, was temporarily blinded by the blue light, and quickly typed out the words I knew I’d forget. It was the beginnings of this story right here. And today I was feeling particularly inspired by it, so here I am, writing my third story for Unwritten Journal.

Today I realized, these drafts are a safety net. Without them, I’d feel vulnerable and at risk of running out of content. To even think of losing all my beloved drafts makes me anxious!

What’s funny though, is when I first started writing a few months ago, I was in the complete opposite boat. I was focused on building my publication Dark Roast Security, so naturally I was wracking my brain for Security topics to write about.

Gaining a following takes time, especially on publications, and I was getting discouraged by the fact that I was stuck at 10 followers for probably the first month or two. The kicker? Half of those people were friends and family, yikes (no offense guys).

Then one day, I stumbled upon Quy Ma’s About Me Stories publication. I figured, why not write a little something about myself? It was this story that changed everything for me. It was the story that kicked off the now never-ending drafts list. It was the story that made me think, maybe I should be writing about more than just Cybersecurity.

To think just three months ago my drafts list was empty and the note on my phone had just three different Security-related ideas is absolutely bonkers. But I don’t think I can ever go back to that.

Sometimes I think about how long my blogging will last. Will my drafts lists truly continue to grow and grow each day? What if my inspiration starts to dry up and my drafts start to dwindle?

I stumble upon many one hit wonders on Medium and know that life probably got in the way for those writers, or maybe they just didn’t have it in them to continue. Either way it’s a shame because I’m always disappointed when I read an amazing story and go to the writer’s profile only to see they haven’t written in months, sometimes years.

It’s because of that, that I know I’m here for the long haul. I don’t want to be the reason for someone’s disappointment when they visit my profile after reading one of my stories, only to find I haven’t written anything recently.

It’s this that will keep me writing each day, even if I don’t publish something everyday. It’s because of this that I know my list of forgotten drafts will continue to grow because I’ve now apparently developed the mind of a writer, and the ideas won’t just stop.

In the short amount of time I’ve been a writer, it’s become my therapy, it’s what helps me make sense of the world, and most of all it gives me a sense of purpose I’ve been looking for.

So to my forgotten drafts, don’t worry, I’ll get to you soon.