Peace|Spirituality|Humbleness
Forgiving Others — Is it an Option or a Choice
Why should we forgive others?
Today was my first day back to work after the summer holidays. I was having anxiety issues for two previous days. I was in dubious battle with my mind because I did not know what to expect on the first day of work. Would I have the same team that I was working with for last three years or would there be a shift? My husband tried to encourage me but surely It did not feel that way. He said that its not the first time I am going to work. I should be used to it by now. I am a pro.
I am an early childhood educator who has been working in a kindergarten class since September 2012. As an early childhood educator, I have to work with a teaching partner. I have dealt with many conflicts in my 10 years of career and changed five teaching partners. You can imagine the uncertainty and ambivalance of my career.
This brings me to the point. I was thinking about writing for the prompt provided by Ravyne Hawke in Know Thyself, Heal Thyself for this week but I could not do it because of my back to work anxiety. So today’s incident was just right for sparking my imagination to try the prompt. How have others righted wrongs done to me?
Mostly people who have power have the ability to do wrong to others. Also, people who are close to you and you see them everyday are more prone to hurt you. The more interactions you will have with a person, there will be more probability for a conflict. It could be your parents, your older sibling, your boss or your experienced coworker. The list goes on. If a powerful person exploits h/his authority, he/she would rarely admit the mistake or ask for forgiveness.
For example, today when I went to work, I was told that I have a new assignment for this year. This means that I have been placed in a new room with a new teaching partner. That revelation struck me like a lightening increasing my anxiety levels. I was perturbed and baffled at the same time. I did not know how to react but to accept the inevitable.
Here is another example of challenges I have faced due to power struggle:
I have faced the same situation many times. I am not informed about the adjustments in my schedules or modifications in my assignments. I have tried talking to the authorities but to no avail. They just beat around the bush. They were going to tell me, but something came up. Is it because I have a lower status than a teacher or is it because I am a minority group in the education system? What options do I have? Should I forgive or keep the grudge? How will It affect my wellbeing? I have no choice but to forgive for the sake of my own peace of mind and mental health.
What would you do If you were in my position? Would you do the same or any different? Do you think forgiveness is a choice or an option? Or do you think it’s a gift from God: the ability to forgive others and not hold any grudges?
It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.
Maya Angelou
On second thought, sometimes you are unable to understand the other person’s perspective. Why did someone behave the way they did? What was the reason behind it ? Do they have an explanation or a valid reason? There are many factors that play a role in making a decision when you are in authority.
Reflection
As a muslim, my religion also prefers forgiveness over revenge. My parents have always taught me to forgive others and not to hold grudges towards others. I have kept feelings of resentment in my heart in the past which only resulted in my vulnerability to mental health. Consequently, I have learned to choose to forgive and forget or resolve the conflict by telling the person what he/she has done wrong depending on the person.
©2022 Saba Haider. All rights reserved
Here is another great poem by one of my favourite authors Thomas Plummer on Medium about forgiveness:
Thanks everyone for reading. Don’t forget to tell me about your feedback in the comments. Many thanks to the editors of this publication: Ravyne Hawke , Spyder , Diana and jules