Forgiveness Ain’t Easy but Bitterness and Hate Will Consume You
Forgiveness seems to be the channeled message For The Day
Before I went to bed last night, I read the story of Mbokomu. The Ancestral Goddess of the Ngombe people. The goddess of Soul Forgiveness. To sum her up, she’s equivalent to the Christian version of Eve. The first woman on earth. I’m doing research into various Gods, Goddesses, and origin stories to show how it doesn’t matter what religion you associate yourself with, or what region of this earth you grew up in, and the beliefs you have that you think are the only right belief…… the core of all these beliefs are very similar. The stories just change names and scenes but it’s essentially the same. But more on this hyperfixation another day.
Mbokomu story is all about foregivness. The Bantu proverb that stood out to me was “ A bitter heart, eats its owner”

I am NOT paid for the links in this article.
Now, as I kicked off my writing session today, I opted to let the Universe guide my thoughts through my musical playlist and what I would write today. Not to my surprise, the song that resonated was Coax Marie’s “I Forgive You. Ahh forgiveness is still the theme.
Here’s the bitter truth. It becomes evident at some point in our lives that the profound wounds inflicted upon us by others may never be met with a genuine apology. It’s a hard pill to swallow, recognizing that certain individuals may remain impervious to the impact of their actions.
Forgiving without ever receiving a genuine apology is one of the hardest things, however, forgiveness is not just about releasing others from the weight of their actions; it’s equally about freeing ourselves from the burden of resentment. It’s a powerful act of self-liberation, a conscious decision to let go of the negative emotions that tether us to the past.
When we choose to forgive, we take back control of our own narrative and pave the way for personal growth. It’s not an endorsement of the wrongs committed but rather an acknowledgment that our peace of mind is too precious to be sacrificed on the altar of bitterness.
After others hurt me I sit with my anger, my disappointment, and my sadness processing these emotions until I feel ready to move forward. I refuse to stay in victim mode and hurt myself further by staying angry towards them.
Instead, I choose the path of healing, seeking outlets that empower me to let go and cultivate my own well-being. By refusing to tether myself to resentment, I prioritize my mental and emotional health.
It’s disheartening to encounter individuals who, over time, have allowed the actions of others to transform them into bitter and negative souls filled with resentment.
While it’s understandable that negative experiences can leave a mark, it’s crucial to remember that we have the power to shape our reactions. Dwelling on resentment is like sipping poison and expecting the other person to feel the effects. You want them to die so to speak, but you’re just slowly killing your own self. So, how do we break free from this bitterness and reclaim our joy?
Not the most easiest question to answer because everyone is different and we have different ways of handling things.
I believe turning your pain and setback into a comeback in some shape or form is one way.
For instance, consider Nelson Mandela, who forgave his captors after 27 years in prison! Rather than pursuing vengeance against those who once oppressed him, Mandela dedicated himself to constructing a new South Africa founded on principles of equality and reconciliation.
He famously said-
As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.
The next way is redirecting.
Direct the energy that might be consumed by resentment towards self-improvement. Physically, mentally , spiritually or all three.
Embrace activities that nourish your body, engage in learning that stimulates your mind, or explore practices that foster overall well-being.
I won’t continue going on for now on the various ways you can transmute hurt and learning to forgive others. There are an infinite amount of articles and listicles on the internet that may go into further depth.
So for now, if you are having a hard time forgiving, I send you love , I wish you healing. May you learn to laugh in the places that made you cry. ❤️
Xoxo,
Fanchon Octavia
