Forgive Me Medium I Have Sinned

More sinful ways on the platform of peril

For some reason I have yet to understand, after a lifetime of failure, I have had a minor success with my article on “The Seven Deadly Sins of Medium” . Perhaps Medium readers are a particularly sinful crowd? So in the tradition of milking a success for all it is worth, I wrote a sequel entitled “Sinner, Winner, Medium Dinner”.

Amusingly some readers have started asking me for absolution in the comments, not just for sins on Medium, but for the wider world rumoured to exist outside of the platform, which is well above my pay grade.

One reader even started telling me about trying to install spyware on her husband’s phone, presumably because he was cheating (are there any other types of men by the way?). TMI (too much information) thank you! I just hope he is not a Medium reader.

It seems that Medium is a veritable den of iniquity and I have stumbled into a moral cesspit. There seems to be much advice that every writer should have a niche to write about and specialise in. I feel slightly uncomfortable realising that my niche has become sin! Naughty me.

However what about the original deadly sins, aside from those in my earlier articles? As a reminder to some readers, (who seem to know them very well given responses so far), the original sins are pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth, How do these relate to Medium?

Pride — So you may have gathered I had a success with the first article, did I mention that (possibly more than once)? This is the sin of pride, for which I will no doubt be punished with a series of articles that end up as skunks, with no earnings, that no one wants to go near.

Greed — When I first started on the MPP (Medium Partner Programme), I was delighted with the first pennies I earned, the equivalent of cents for the benefit of my many continental cousin friends in the States. However the world being the way it is, I soon wanted to get to a pound a day, and then even more, perhaps enough for a cup of outrageously expensive Starbucks coffee, a triple shot macchiato with cream, sprinkles and a double somersault thrown in. This was perhaps unwise, Medium being what it is, However this was the sin of greed. I should have stuck with being happy with pennies — at least as a pessimist you are less likely to be disappointed.

Wrath — Oh yes, I have done this one. There are certain subjects that really set me off. I won’t mention them because it is not good for my blood pressure.

Envy — Yes, been there, done this one. Envy for those Medium superstars who have several squillion followers and probably earnings to match. Of course in Medium context, p***s envy has been replaced by Boost Envy, resentful of all those writers coining it thanks to successful nominations by the Boosting publication editors. Judging by the problems my partner’s appendage seems to cause him though, we are better off without them, or the Boost for that matter.

Lust — Judging by the lady who told me of trying to install spyware on her husband’s phone, this is certainly a problem off the platform, and on it as well for all I know. Perhaps readers will enlighten me. Ever since I mentioned using my partner’s performance in bed as a timer for the thirty-second reading rule, and he read some of my articles, lust has for some reason been in short supply in the River household. Whoops!

Gluttony — I don’t know about you, but writing on Medium has given me a serious snacking problem — biscuits, Doritos, crackers, you name it, I will indulge. My excuse is that it makes me more productive. In the days when I worked in an office it was not socially acceptable to stop for a snack every half an hour or so, but working on Medium has definitely put me on the slippery slope towards gluttony, as my waistline testifies.

Sloth — This is quite a problem for me, due to a serious Netflix habit. Given the choice between writing an article that may earn a few pennies, and slobbing out on the sofa until Mr. River comes home from work, I struggle to get motivated, sometimes only just making it back in front of the laptop before he comes through the door, expecting me to cater for his every whim as usual. I am definitely channelling my inner sloth, How about you?

Well that is my quota of sin for today. Though I would love to hear more from you and your sinful ways in the comments, though probably best to restrict these to sins on Medium or I will be out of my depth!

The original article -

The sequel -