Forget Homeschool — 5 Practical Things I’m Trying To Teach My Kids Instead
Quarantine + Parenting = Quarenting
We have all been there.
Juggling a work conference call, while trying to make sure your kid focuses and participates in her zoom class. Maybe you have also been preparing a meal or folding laundry or keeping a second kid alive. At the same time.
Maybe.
Working from home can be a challenge but adding homeschool can make it a multi-tasking disaster.
I have tried and I have failed.
Perhaps the close quarters is compounding the extra-ordinary levels of stress we were all experiencing and it’s making us more irritable, impatient, and short-fused.
It is probably all of it.
Regardless, for the sake of my sanity and mental health, something had to give if I am going to survive this long period of living and learning together for longer than this week.
Similar to when you force a quick-release on your Instant Pot, the pressure to complete everything for me and then for everyone else had to be surrendered. It had to be freed.
So, I let it go.
Thus, homeschooling became optional.
I started committing to half an hour a day. Anything else was a bonus.
My focus shifted to learning, not on completing lessons. And, my stress levels also shifted.
Here are 5 practical things I aim to learn and teach daily
1. Gratitude
With the multiple ongoing responsibilities, I was starting to feel drained physically and my mental health was weaning. I felt underappreciated and aggravated at doing and getting and making without even a thank you. Even after multiple supplications for a “please” and ‘thank you” I was not getting anywhere.
The kids didn’t get it. I was beyond frustrated. They were so busy watching their movie or eating their snack to realize that those two little words would have changed my day.
Again, I had to take action.
With pretzels in hand, I held them hostage and demanded a thank you. Not just one, but ten. Yes, you heard me, ten “thank yous” from each of them before they could enjoy their salty treat.
And so, it went.
Every request or demand or need went unfilled until I heard ten solid phrases of “thank you” — all usually counted out on their ten little sticky fingers.
Every. Single. Time.
Extreme, I know. But extraordinary times call for extraordinary gratitude.
2) Creativity
Do what you can and use what you have.
From baking fresh bread to making ice cream to paper-mâché pinatas to a home-grown garden, creating something out of nothing is a life-lesson that we realized during this time together at home.
Before quarantine, we may not have had time to let the yeast rise or go through with waiting for ice cream to churn. We now know we could get creative and get our hands dirty and make it from scratch.
Mostly out of fun but also as a survival skill, you can make anything if you put your mind to it and come up with the right resources.
Realizing everything is possible has been a good learning for the kids but also a game-changing reminder for us adults.
Plus, who knew that toddlers-made ketchup would pair so well with pomme frites?
3) Self-care
We have all heard it. Make time for yourself. Listen to your body. Eat when you need to eat. Rest when you need to rest.
But easier said than done.
Lately, I have been craving more and more quiet alone time. This unprecedented period of more demands and more noise requires unprecedented periods of self-reflection and self-care.
Before quarantine, there were so many times that I was last on my long list of to-dos. It was not a sustainable strategy during our old normal life and it is definitely not sustainable now.
More than ever, you must prioritize yourself on a daily and an hourly basis.
On most nights, I take back 30–60mins and I step away from the kids during movie time to take a relaxing bath or simply to sit with my thoughts in silence. Some days, self-care is a quick yoga session or a mediation or reading a book.
Making time for self-care is a necessity and even more important during times of stress.
By now, the kids understand that like their own bath time each day, mama also gets hers (even if no actual bathing is involved).
Zero guilt, zero shame.
By choosing myself first and figuratively putting on my mask first, I’m embodying self-care and my kids are learning self-love.
4) Stillness
Learning to sit with the quiet and with inaction is hard.
For many of us (me included), even a short 10-minute meditation is a fail because our mind quickly starts to wander and wonder what is next.
Getting comfortable with letting our bodies and our minds come to a standstill is a skill and a challenge, particularly for children.
Often when I need stillness, I turn to books and can read for hours. Unfortunately, being a working parent leaves little in the quiet time category for me.
My kids, however, fall under the boredom classification on most days.
My best practice when I hear their plea for the “next thing to do” is to ignore them. I let them sit with the feeling of boredom or stillness for 5 minutes.
Most times they forget they asked for anything and find something to do themselves — which is amazing in itself. Other times, it doesn’t work. But at least they practiced being still for 5 minutes.
This also works for adults, by the way.
Even short pauses during our day give us the autonomy to think, to be still, and to get closer into turning boredom into action.
5) Savoring
This is the act of enjoying and appreciating even the smallest of things by taking time to pay attention, to notice the details, to savor, and to experience what is happening in the present.
When I said this to my 4-year-old, she turned and said, what “present” and “who got me a gift”? In the moment, it made me laugh. But it also made me think about the dual meaning for a minute.
A present means a gift AND the present is a gift.
Wow.
Like most of us, I am a planner and always thinking about how to better optimize the next process or how to execute the next step or the next event.
Even if it’s as simple as planning the next meal, my brain does not stop and I am always a few steps ahead.
I didn’t fully realize how much this rubbed off on my kids until I started getting the “so, what’s next” question all the damn time.
Without fail, it would come smack-dab-in-the-middle of dinner or would ruin a semi-perfect memorable moment.
Those three words. What. Is. Next.
They would come at the most inopportune time and would make me cringe each time.
Because most things are new to preschoolers, they especially are so excited about the next thing and often miss the wonder of the moment they are in.
By reminding ourselves, that we should think about what is in front of us or about what we are currently doing and to say thank you for it, it helps us shift our mind to the ‘now’ instead of to the ‘next’.
In a way, savoring is like mindfulness or meditation.
By noticing the flowers on your walk or the extra-long noodle in your dinner, for example, you are slowing down and practicing awareness of the present.
Funny thing is you need the patience to live in the moment, but you need to live in the moment to grow patience.
To Recap
Being home with kids during this difficult time is a challenge. Give yourself a break often. We are doing the best we can.
Focus on what you can control and on keeping them alive.
If possible, focus on learning and show them practical life skills which are timeless in their benefits.
- Gratitude
- Creativity
- Self-care
- Stillness
- Savoring
These are great tools that we can all carry with us into life - now and when we enter the world (again).
At the end of all this, when homeschool is a distant memory, and when we have space to reflect, we will look back.
We will look back and see all the things that we have learned and taught.
Be ready to impress yourself.