Forget All The New Age Gimmicks

Take your to-do list and burn it. There’s a better way to go

Maybe I'm grouchy today. I don't know because I'm not fully awake even though it's late morning—one of those slow starts. And let me tell you — it feels good to warm up slowly.

While the rest of the world is getting all cranked up and focusing on goals, objectives, and all the crap that didn't get done before Christmas, I'm sitting here looking at the birds nibble berries on a tree outside my window and doing a free flow writing exercise.

And you're reading it, so I must be doing something right.

I'm reacting against people getting hooked on making life more complicated than it needs to be.

A friend of mine sent me an email catching me up on his life. It was a nice note overall. I cracked up when I saw his to-do list for the year. Here it is.

• Learn to type correctly….so I can do more writing…..
• Start playing golf again…..heck, we have several 9 & 18-hole courses around here to enjoy.
• Taking a ceramics course to learn to make things from clay!
• Play more guitar and take some lessons too!
• Get out on the bay via paddleboard or kayak.
• More hikes within nature that is all around us here
• Read more books…watch less TV….and limit NEWS!
• Plan more travel to see family & close friends.
• Start up my "Relationship Coaching" practice.
• Start writing a small book.

For crying out loud, man. Get f*&king serious.

Who in their right mind wants to lay all this on themselves on January 1? Too much, dude. Way too much. Not my thing at all.

I'm more into intentions, like, "I'm going make my best effort marketing my book." "I'm going to continue my meditation practice." “Staying fit and healthy is a priority.” "The goal I pursue is to be a kinder, more loving person."

Details and specifics naturally flow from our intentions because intentions come from deep down inside. The deeper our intentions, the more easily they manifest. When we engage our heart and spirit, the greater impact we will make, no matter what we set out to do.

My wife and I had a ceremony a few nights ago in our living room, with a wood fire burning in front of us. We wrote down what we wanted to leave behind going into the New Year and what we wanted more of on bits of paper. Then we threw them into the fire.

Writing things down is powerful. So is doing a ceremony. It's ancient and tribal and connects us to past traditions.

I don't need more shit to do. I need less to do.

I'm more interested in being a better person right now than anything else. I know what brings me happiness, and it isn't checking stuff off my to-do list — it's getting quiet and listening to the messages I get from my heart.

I just read an article by Grace Bluerock, a hospice nurse, "The 9 Most Common Regrets People Have At The End Of Life." It's a great piece, similar to Bronnie Ware's best-selling book, "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing."

Highlights in my words from both:

• Live your life according to your terms, not someone else's.
• Don't work so damn hard.
• Don't suppress your feelings.
• Take more risks.
• Take good care of yourself.
• Let yourself be happier.
• Be more loving to people.

Why is it that very few, if any, of these make it onto anyone's plan for the year?

I'll tell you why. They all take hard work.

Learning guitar or reading more books is a walk in the park.

But going after anything on that list is a different ball game because each takes deep personal commitment, patience, bravery, and heart.

Heart. Maybe that's the key.

Maybe we'd be better off if we all lived more from our hearts.

We wouldn't need ridiculous to-do lists, toothbrushes with Bluetooth, videos teaching us to walk correctly, gurus on every corner telling us to count backward when we inhale, and endless motivational speakers on TEDx telling us how to succeed.

How do we live more from our hearts?

We all know — it's built into us from birth. We don't need a book or article to tell us how to do it. Do we need an instruction guide on how to breathe?

Here's what doesn't help any of us live from our heart — constantly criticizing ourselves for our quirks, mistakes, and errors, getting sucked into social media battles with anyone we disagree with, believing everything we read, see and hear must be significant, and thinking the commentary in our heads is who we are.

Doing more doesn't get us in touch with our hearts. Yelling doesn't. Anger doesn't. Jealousy doesn't. Lying doesn't. Being passive doesn't. Being aggressive doesn't either.

Maybe slowing down helps. Maybe saying hello to a stranger helps. Maybe listening to someone without interrupting helps. Maybe thanking someone for complimenting you helps. Maybe not being so quick to judge helps. Maybe taking an interest in someone else's dreams helps.

Maybe being kinder, respectfully honest, gracious, and loving will get us all where we want to go.

If so, we won't wind up telling the person holding our hand when we're about to drop off the deep end that we regret not following our passion, working too hard, being miserable, or not being more loving to our friends and family.

So, yeah. Less head, more heart.

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