For Lasting Change, Focus on the Factors that Reinforce Your Habits

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Abstract

t habit as a go-to strategy to feel better. When I feel less anxious when I avoid big crowds, that avoidance keeps reinforcing my anxiety. Let’s take a look at the mechanism behind it.</p><h2 id="e9a5">Positive reinforcement</h2><p id="0eeb">When the consequence of a behavior is getting something it’s positive reinforcement.</p><p id="7b4d">Many everyday habits are based on positive reinforcement. One evening I found three Euros in the machines in the laundry room. I push the button every other time I walk past it.</p><h2 id="e3f6">Negative reinforcement</h2><p id="8efa">When something is taken away or avoided, it is negative reinforcement.</p><p id="8e6b">Most psychological disorders thrive on negative reinforcements. They continue because the things that cause the anxiety are avoided. The problem is that the behavior does not only reduce the anxiety but makes it more likely for it to get triggered when encountered again. By avoiding things we are anxious about, we are training ourselves to learn that these things are so dangerous, avoidance is the only way to cope. The result will be more fear and uneasiness and stronger avoidance behavior.</p><h1 id="66dc">Back to the New Year’s Resolutions</h1><p id="856f">When it comes to personal changes we are taught to use self-control. Or motivation. Or affirmation. Or whatever. My thesis is that we just don’t pay enough attention to the reinforcing factors in the behaviors we want to change. So the problem is not that we need a better vision of where to get. Instead, we need to figure out what is keeping us where we are. The problem is that we are already trying and doing our best to get there and by doing so we get more stuck. Writing, for example, is very important to me. However, I do struggle with writing. I sit in front of a blank paper, staring, cursing, watching the hours chiseling away, my trash overflowing, the sun setting. And I return to my homework, the kitchen, the supermarket, the library and leave the empty paper behind. One problem is that I suck at writing. But that could be improved by more writing. The real problem is that I do not write enough to improve. And that is — at least partly — because I feel so bad about myself not writing that the only way to get away from that feeling is engaging in activities that strengthen my independent-from-writing identity and self-esteem. The truth is I can get straight A’s in Uni without writing. I can work out and get smokin’ hot with the paper staying blank. And I can organize my entire life, shopping for groceries and being a neat-looking and friendly person with the paper staying blank. I can live a whole life avoiding the bad feeling of being a bad writer. And this is the real problem. Not that my writing is bad, not that I am busy with other stuff, not that I could have a shot at a different career if I keep working and studying hard. It is that my avoidance feeds more avoidance. It is that how I deal with the problem is part of the problem. That in fact, it increases it. Like a giant snowball. And I think we all have that in one way or another. We all have our bad habits, and goals we are not working for enough. And how we deal with them is not just in the way of changing. It is part o

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f how we reinforce it.</p><ul><li>We wouldn’t overeat if we didn’t under-ate to make up for overeating.</li><li>We wouldn’t worry about anything if it wouldn’t keep us from worrying about something else.</li><li>We wouldn’t wake up late if we didn’t stay up late to make up for waking up late.</li></ul><h1 id="630e">How To Use That To Make Better Decisions and Foster Positive Change</h1><p id="bec0">If the problem is not the problem but what keeps it up and running, we might have a starting point for lasting change. Here is an excerpt of my notes of how I am planning to use it.</p><ul><li>Understanding the triggers for habitual reactions. What situations are most likely to lead to the habits I want to change? In clinical psychology, this is also called the stimulus component, incorporating all the stimuli that lead to a reaction. This could be situations, people, topics in a conversation, subtle things like smells or sounds.</li><li>Understanding the reaction. The reaction is what follows the triggered emotion. My favorites are anything that gets me the impression to be in control. Feel bad about my writing? Do something I feel good about! Feel anxious? Do something I can do to “minimize” the risk and feel in charge.</li><li>Understand how the consequences of the behavior reinforce it. If the consequence of the behavior is that I feel better because of it than before, chances are I just reinforced it. Again, this can consist of something feeling like a reward or like a relief.</li><li>Reduce contingence. Contingence is the likelihood by which a reaction will lead to the consequence. Normally speaking, a high contingency means that a reaction follows a trigger every time. Every time I can’t come up with good words I leave my desk and look for snacks. The problem is that I will find a lot of snacks but never the right words. Reducing the contingence can look like not getting snacks every time.</li><li>Reduce contiguity. Contiguity is how close the trigger (the stimulus) and the reaction are connected. The closer the two are connected (no ideas and distracting myself), the higher the contiguity. For example, waiting ten minutes before getting snacks is a good way to reduce contiguity.</li></ul><h1 id="f8a6">All You Need To Know</h1><p id="9dc4">Each of our behaviors serves a purpose and it is very hard to change it unless we understand that. A quote (from my professor) along those lines sums it up best: “We don’t need to be less afraid, we need to stop engaging in the behaviors induced by the fear.” When we understand how our ways to cope with our problems keep reinforcing them, we can start there. For me, that is very hard. Not only because it requires a lot of awareness and time to reflect. Feeling like the behavior is necessary and the only way to stay sane makes it ten times harder. But slowly and gradually, I get a better understanding of the factors that keep reinforcing my bad habits and anxieties. For lasting change, we need to understand why we are still where we are and what keeps us from getting away from that. From there, the biggest and bravest change is not <b>doing</b> something different, but <b>stopping</b> to do what was keeping us stuck in the first place.</p></article></body>

Knowing what keeps you stuck can be better than knowing your goals.

I don’t remember why I started washing my hands in second grade. I just know that for what felt like the next years I could not stop washing them. When I touched a toxic plant — or one I suspected toxic, I had to wash them. When I touched a place someone else had touched after having touched something I suspected dangerous — wash them again. Growing up in a family of seven, it piled up quickly. The skin on my hands shed, then they began bleeding. Just like I cannot remember what started it I can’t recall when I stopped. I think my parents simply forced me to stop the washing. Only after that, the worries could gradually sink below the surface again.

New years resolutions got a bad rep over the past years. People started saying that they don’t work. That they are toxic. That a new year does not make you a new person. Or that planning is daydreaming, keeping you from doing the real work. Or that you can make a new start whenever. And while all of that might be true, there is one more reason they do not work. It’s that we focus on the wrong side. We think of what we want to change or where we want to get to. But what we need is to figure out what is keeping us where we do not want to be anymore.

Resolutions Don’t Work Because We Focus on the Wrong Ends

In clinical psychology, we learned not to care too much about those factors that cause a psychological disorder. Instead, we learn to identify and distinguish the factors that keep reinforcing a behavior. for people with an anxiety disorder (like me) it is of little help to understand why we developed our fears and anxieties. Neither is it to picture our perfect life without it. If it was that easy, we would probably not have a problem at all. Instead, we have to pay attention to all the many behaviors and factors in our surroundings that keep it up and working.

Two Kinds of Reinforcement

The idea of reinforcements of behaviors are concepts from operant conditioning. Remember Pawlow’s dogs or poor little Albert? If not, the idea is that conditioning works by reinforcing or eliminating a behavior by rewards and punishments. While punishments — no matter whether they are punishing or not — reduce a behavior, reinforcements maintain or increase a behavior. They are the factors that make a behavior more likely to continue. In other words, when a behavior leads to positive consequences we are more likely to do it again. Unfortunately, this goes, too, for unhealthy behaviors. When I buy myself stuff whenever I feel bad and feel better afterward, I will adopt that habit as a go-to strategy to feel better. When I feel less anxious when I avoid big crowds, that avoidance keeps reinforcing my anxiety. Let’s take a look at the mechanism behind it.

Negative reinforcement

When something is taken away or avoided, it is negative reinforcement.

Most psychological disorders thrive on negative reinforcements. They continue because the things that cause the anxiety are avoided. The problem is that the behavior does not only reduce the anxiety but makes it more likely for it to get triggered when encountered again. By avoiding things we are anxious about, we are training ourselves to learn that these things are so dangerous, avoidance is the only way to cope. The result will be more fear and uneasiness and stronger avoidance behavior.

Back to the New Year’s Resolutions

When it comes to personal changes we are taught to use self-control. Or motivation. Or affirmation. Or whatever. My thesis is that we just don’t pay enough attention to the reinforcing factors in the behaviors we want to change. So the problem is not that we need a better vision of where to get. Instead, we need to figure out what is keeping us where we are. The problem is that we are already trying and doing our best to get there and by doing so we get more stuck. Writing, for example, is very important to me. However, I do struggle with writing. I sit in front of a blank paper, staring, cursing, watching the hours chiseling away, my trash overflowing, the sun setting. And I return to my homework, the kitchen, the supermarket, the library and leave the empty paper behind. One problem is that I suck at writing. But that could be improved by more writing. The real problem is that I do not write enough to improve. And that is — at least partly — because I feel so bad about myself not writing that the only way to get away from that feeling is engaging in activities that strengthen my independent-from-writing identity and self-esteem. The truth is I can get straight A’s in Uni without writing. I can work out and get smokin’ hot with the paper staying blank. And I can organize my entire life, shopping for groceries and being a neat-looking and friendly person with the paper staying blank. I can live a whole life avoiding the bad feeling of being a bad writer. And this is the real problem. Not that my writing is bad, not that I am busy with other stuff, not that I could have a shot at a different career if I keep working and studying hard. It is that my avoidance feeds more avoidance. It is that how I deal with the problem is part of the problem. That in fact, it increases it. Like a giant snowball. And I think we all have that in one way or another. We all have our bad habits, and goals we are not working for enough. And how we deal with them is not just in the way of changing. It is part of how we reinforce it.

We wouldn’t overeat if we didn’t under-ate to make up for overeating.

We wouldn’t worry about anything if it wouldn’t keep us from worrying about something else.

We wouldn’t wake up late if we didn’t stay up late to make up for waking up late.

How To Use That To Make Better Decisions and Foster Positive Change

If the problem is not the problem but what keeps it up and running, we might have a starting point for lasting change. Here is an excerpt of my notes of how I am planning to use it.

Understanding the triggers for habitual reactions. What situations are most likely to lead to the habits I want to change? In clinical psychology, this is also called the stimulus component, incorporating all the stimuli that lead to a reaction. This could be situations, people, topics in a conversation, subtle things like smells or sounds.

Understanding the reaction. The reaction is what follows the triggered emotion. My favorites are anything that gets me the impression to be in control. Feel bad about my writing? Do something I feel good about! Feel anxious? Do something I can do to “minimize” the risk and feel in charge.

Understand how the consequences of the behavior reinforce it. If the consequence of the behavior is that I feel better because of it than before, chances are I just reinforced it. Again, this can consist of something feeling like a reward or like a relief.

Reduce contingence. Contingence is the likelihood by which a reaction will lead to the consequence. Normally speaking, a high contingency means that a reaction follows a trigger every time. Every time I can’t come up with good words I leave my desk and look for snacks. The problem is that I will find a lot of snacks but never the right words. Reducing the contingence can look like not getting snacks every time.

Reduce contiguity. Contiguity is how close the trigger (the stimulus) and the reaction are connected. The closer the two are connected (no ideas and distracting myself), the higher the contiguity. For example, waiting ten minutes before getting snacks is a good way to reduce contiguity.

All You Need To Know

Each of our behaviors serves a purpose and it is very hard to change it unless we understand that. A quote (from my professor) along those lines sums it up best: “We don’t need to be less afraid, we need to stop engaging in the behaviors induced by the fear.” When we understand how our ways to cope with our problems keep reinforcing them, we can start there. For me, that is very hard. Not only because it requires a lot of awareness and time to reflect. Feeling like the behavior is necessary and the only way to stay sane makes it ten times harder. But slowly and gradually, I get a better understanding of the factors that keep reinforcing my bad habits and anxieties. For lasting change, we need to understand why we are still where we are and what keeps us from getting away from that. From there, the biggest and bravest change is not doing something different, but stopping to do what was keeping us stuck in the first place.