When You’re a Billionaire, The World Is So Totally Unfair

Sometimes, that’s a bad thing.

Jeff Bezos thinks life is unfair.

The world’s second richest man lost a lunar landing contract to Space X, a company run by his rival Elon Musk. Now he’s suing NASA. He wants the government to reverse the decision and give him what he wants. He believes he worked hard. He earned it. He deserves better. The exact words from Blue Origin: “We firmly believe that the issues identified in this procurement and its outcomes must be addressed to restore fairness, create competition, and ensure a safe return to the moon for America.”

Poor guy…

I would say it’s time to bring out the world’s tiniest violin, but I’m pretty sure he already owns it.

Guys like Bezos are always telling us that life is meant to be unfair. That’s how the world works. You’re supposed to deal with it, regardless of your race or gender. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

That’s the song of billionaire fan boys, too.

Sometimes they even write little essays declaring how much they love unfairness. It motivates them. It inspires them. Without unfairness, life would be too easy. It would be downright boring.

Apparently this isn’t what they really think. When unfairness happens to them, they don’t like it. They complain. They sue.

They demand government intervention.

Who could’ve known?

Jeff Bezos is the father of unfairness.

Billionaires build their fortunes on the backs of their workers. They don’t treat them fairly. They don’t pay them fairly. They take away their healthcare. They fire them for speaking up.They defend all this cruelty by telling everyone they have the right to go work somewhere else.

They say life isn’t meant to be fair.

That’s their mantra.

Nobody has rigged the game more than Bezos.

Amazon is notorious for its brutal working conditions. They’re known for their illegal labor-busting activities. They’ve also broken laws by luring startups into their business partnership programs, raiding their intel, and then launching competing products. They’ve bent or broken an infinite list of laws, and yet they never face consequences. Bezos portrays himself as a kind, benevolent entrepreneur. Of course, he’s anything but.

His corporate employees describe their workplace as hostile. The dude is also just a plain asshole who berates his staff.

Bezos has spent most of his life on the other side of unfairness. He’s crafted a story for himself as “self-made.” The truth is, he started out with an ivy-league degree and a loan from his parents for several hundred thousand dollars. As you can imagine, he downplays it.

Now after a lifetime of privilege culminating in super yachts and joy rides in space, unfairness has finally landed on his doorstep.

He wants a refund.

Billionaires believe in the law of the jungle.

Nobody has engaged in corporate warfare like Amazon. They’ve undermined every industry from publishing to shipping, all in the cutthroat pursuit of profit and efficiency. That’s all that matters.

They bully publishers and small businesses into unfair contracts. They describe competitors as sickly gazelles.

Bezos believes he’s an apex predator.

He rejoices in the image.

This is the law of the jungle, a pseudo-intellectual philosophy billionaires tout in order to defend their actions. They talk about “survival of the fittest,” and shrug off their social responsibilities.

Billionaires like Bezos believe they don’t owe the world anything. Everyone achieves everything on their own.

They shouldn’t have to pay taxes.

So they don’t.

The law of the jungle has one rule: If you can get away with something, then you had a right to do it. There’s no such thing as “wrong.” The means justify the end, as long as the end is making more money. All that matters is that you win, however you can.

Unfairness is good until it happens to them.

Hopefully we can all agree on one thing:

Suing the government to get your way is the opposite of everything we just said about the law of the jungle.

Billionaires are supposed to believe in the free market, and at-will employment. You can hire or fire anyone whenever you want, for any reason. You should be able to pay workers whatever you want. If they don’t like it, they should go somewhere else. The government shouldn’t get involved in disputes between companies and workers.

When women talk about wage gaps or bias in hiring and promotions, they’re just complaining. When millennials talk about student loan debt or the rising cost of living, they’re acting entitled.

They’re all just lazy.

Of course, the minute a billionaire doesn’t like something, they’re on the phone with their lawyer. They’re on the news.

They’re suddenly a victim.

They preach the prosperity gospel. They talk about positivity and grit and resilience. They’ll write books about all that, and sell them to people like us, so we can be like them.

This advice isn’t meant for them, though.

They don’t follow it.

It’s for us, and it’s not to make us billionaires. It’s to convince us to shut up and accept the raw deal we’ve gotten. It’s meant to explain away their privileges, and normalize unfairness. As long as the unfairness is happening to someone else, it’s all good. It’s justified. It’s natural.

It’s an obstacle to overcome.

This is the logic used to justify everything from sexism to starvation wages. We’re the ones who deal with unfairness. We’re supposed to start out with nothing and work our way to the top, like they did.

Except…

They never do that.

It you really believe billionaires practice their own advice, watch how they respond to the slightest inconvenience. They’re all about the law of the jungle until something bigger pounces on them. Anytime they think they might have to pay taxes or give someone a raise, or a wait a little longer for their food, they pitch the biggest fits.

Billionaires are the biggest cry babies.

So, Jeff Bezos is a hypocrite.

Big surprise, right?

It’s just interesting the hypocrisy is so glaring this time.

Billionaires believe they’re self-made. They think they’re tough. They think they live by the law of the jungle. They regard themselves as apex predators, the natural outcome of social darwinism. They rail against the government and tell it to stay out of their business.

The minute this ideology doesn’t serve them, they’re ready to cast it aside and appeal to law and order. They’re oblivious. It’s the only way to sleep at night when you apply one standard to yourself, and a different one to everyone else. It’s the only way to play the good guy in your story.

You know what they say about the worst bullies.

They’re the biggest cry babies.