Football: The Pursuit of Winning and the Woe of Sore Losers

I’m a sore loser. But I am seeking help!

School daze — cannot lose.

Whether it’s a game of noughts and crosses or a competitive sport, I’ll admit it: losing just doesn’t sit well with me, and dealing with defeat takes some time. Back in school, during sports, my teacher would always say, ‘It’s not the winning, gentlemen, it’s the taking part.’

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

As captain of the football team (I’ll save the stories of my boys’ school for another post), I’d gather the lads before kick-off and emphasize the need to win. ‘We haven’t come here to be losers,’ I’d frantically shout!

Wenger once said there was ‘no room for good losers’ in the Premier League.

I’d remind them that the opposing side aims to crush us and that we must win at all costs.

‘They’re laughing at us. Their kits are better, their tactics sharper,’ I’d say, trying to fire up my players. I was only 11 years old at the time!

Even though I was a sore loser, I made sure to shake hands with my opponents at the end. But that gut-churning feeling when I lost? Not nice at all.

Universitario opponents were sore losers

Recently, the Universitario Football Team played a match for the Peruvian league Title, and they won! Obviously, the fans were gearing up for a celebration.

However, just as the party kicked off, the home team went full-on sore loser mode, shutting down all the lights and instructing the fans to head home. Now, that’s sore losers for you.

It brought back memories of a time when I found myself in the same sore loser zone.

Family games and losing

One Christmas at my cousin’s house, we were playing board games, and as usual, I had to win. When I was not winning, I started to cheat, not good, I know. But mans got to do what a mans got to do!

My uncle got so upset with my cheating without a word, his hand swept across the table, sending the game crashing against the wall. The noise quieted down the room to a silence. We all just stared at the crushed game against the wall!

Okay. Time to go home now!

Older but still a sore loser

Anyway, things really did not improve as I got older I used that fear of losing to drive me forward to study and educate myself.

Some of my friends were able to sit down and just study, whereas I had to have this end goal — I needed to set myself a target I had to get the highest mark.

But soon I realized that I was just suffering burnout and I needed just to work hard and smart and not be super competitive.

Maybe my teacher was right? Is it the taking part and not the winning? I really don’t know, as a big part of my life was just about winning at all costs. I have now mellowed a lot and can take a loss occasionally.

Less football more me time

By the time I got to university, I was quite competitive and still playing lots of football, but I made a conscious decision to reduce my football commitments. If I played, it would be purely for fun, not solely fixated on winning. I adore winning, sure, but I also cherish other aspects of life.

Football demands a lot from the body, and to always win, you’ve got to give it your all, all the time!

After enduring a series of injuries that screamed ‘no more sports’ to my body, I took a break from organized football and redirected my focus to my studies and coaching.

Without the constant pressure to train rigorously and the fear of losing, life took a new meaning. Weekends became moments to have fun and hang out with friends without the looming pressure of early exits for morning games. It was a whole new realm of enjoyment.

I no longer had to fixate on winning a match and having my entire weekend spoiled by a bad result. I now would enjoy a kick around and not care about losing.

Are you a sore loser? Let me know!

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