Food Review: A Very Tall Tree from the Prehistoric Era

The dense forest opening suggests this lone tree is an exception. It is. A delicacy, in fact. A singular species of tree, for a singular species of creature. An impressive sway in the north-westerly breeze entices hungry (but evolved) plant-based dinosaurs such as yourself. If you arrive just at sunrise, you will find no crowds. Instead, you will discover an irresistible morning dew expertly seasoning its lush leaves. At first glance, it would seem that the leaves are too heavy for the slender tree. Not the case. What you are in for, however, are deep green offerings outstretched on eager, bouncy branches with just enough toughness as to not detach from their trunk on the first bite. No one wants to feel like a big, messy eater. No one.

The tree trunk is about the thickness of your neck, devoted to standing as proudly as you, and its height encourages standing upright. Put your hind legs to use — if you want to obtain the dazzling leaves closest to the sky, that is. Overall, the tree before you is a generous portion when considering how common hearty shorter greenery is in the area. But, of course, those options are for any herbivore, for any length of neck. You stand above the rest. You found a gem. The Great Ball in the Sky created it for you. And you, for it.

Each bite, a delicate message to your flat, grinding teeth. That message? One of hope, alluding to how enjoyable the next bite will also be. A melt-in-your-mouth sensation so rare, you question how it exists. The wide round leaves grant an invigorating richness not found in the plants popular with your shorter Stego or Tricera friends. Snapping ever-so-lightly off the ends of their branches, these juicy delicacies are ideal for modest mouthfuls. Consider: after a mountain walk with a new mate, or an extra special occasion such as a herd migration.

Whichever it may be, the tree’s consistent quality will ring true. This is due to it growing at such a great height that it completely avoids being partly eaten. In turn, it avoids having to displace energy to regrow itself unevenly. Yes. This tree is simply so tall that its leaves are only ever enjoyed — in full — by high-class sauropods such as yourself. How fortunate, right?

Your satisfied bellows will echo across the land, signifying the tree’s majesty and that you are above your peers for having experienced it first. Your experience is an important reminder: life is full of wonders; this delicious tree is just one of them. Indeed, you are living in a perfect Era of Enjoyment — so much so that a second Great Ball in the Sky has appeared — and it is getting larger and larger each day.