Floating Through Emotions

Becoming a witness of the good, the bad, and the ugly

Becoming a witness of my emotions, thoughts, and feelings is an important aspect of my daily mindfulness practice. I try to look at the waves generated by them from the point of view of an observer.

I try not to react under the influence of these thoughts, emotions, and feelings but notice them come and go.

Even if there is a reaction from my side under their influence, I become a witness to that too. I notice if there are any follow-up emotions of self-criticism under these instances of reactivity.

However, I still find myself reacting to or getting influenced by similar emotions over and over again. I have realized that noticing this is the first step towards getting out of the grip of such emotions.

I have observed that some emotions are easier to deal with while those with a huge magnitude are often difficult to just sit and observe, especially those which arise out of past pain or trauma.

Under these circumstances, I have observed in me a tendency to take the comfort of my addictions, to somehow mask the pain with the help of temporary sources of relief.

But truth be told, the pain of such emotions never goes away when I follow this path. True release happens when I choose to become okay and sit with the presence and the subsequent feelings generated by these emotions, no matter how uncomfortable the experience is.

In this way, I have observed the transmutation of old emotional patterns. The triggers associated with them, either do not take place or have subdued to a level where I can catch them before being taken over by reactivity.

Resistance to such emotions only creates an inner conflict in me.

The thought “I shouldn't feel this”, leads to despair.

I notice this too and try to shift my focus back to the present moment, back to the focus of my attention in that moment.

A moment of stillness often helps me under these circumstances. Not necessarily outer stillness, but an inner stillness that can also originate from some form of mindful action.

A walk in nature, listening to soothing tunes or mantras, cooking for a loved one, are a few examples of mindful activities that I enjoy.

Float on the current of present moment awareness and watch what passes by you.