Five Ways To Be a Good First Time Dad At Fifty

Or, at the very least, how not to suck at it.

First off, the title of this piece is only slightly misleading. I actually became a first-time dad a couple of months shy of turning 50, and at 53 (at present), I still consider myself a somewhat new dad.

But that last sentence is a bit of a mouthful to use as a title, so I simplified it slightly. In spirit, it’s still pretty accurate.

So bear with me.

Everything that follows is the straight skinny, so to speak. I’m pretty sure no one uses the term “straight skinny” anymore, but it means everything that follows is the plain truth — as I’ve experienced, at least.

Accept That Things Are Different

I was born in 1967.

1967… jeez.

The first thing I had to accept was that being a parent and being a kid these days are very different from when I was a boy. And most of that is a good thing.

I am not going to mythologize my childhood. Sure, it was a time of simpler amusements, unsupervised freedom, and only three channels on the TV. But kids these days have it so much better with greater access to information, exposure to different cultures and lifestyles, and a greater chance of survival.

My kid will likely not be kicked out of the house early on a summer morning with a bag lunch and told not to come home until the five o’clock whistle went off. My parents had no idea what we got up to, which was probably a good thing for them.

As an “older dad,” you’re going to be continually having the thought, “that’s not how we did things when I was young.”

No, it’s not. Chances are high that it’s better now. Just because we were raised one way doesn’t mean there aren’t better ways.

Accept that a lot of your kid’s childhood will be very different from yours and that it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Take Advantage Of All Resources Available

My parents didn’t have access to multiple parenting Facebook groups when I was a kid. My dad had a few friends with kids our age, but you tend to get the same advice from everyone in a small town, whether it’s good advice or not.

If you’re a parent today, you have resources all around you. Facebook groups are great — as are parenting blogs, Slacks, forums, and hotlines. And if there’s a parenting topic that can’t be found on YouTube, I’ve not heard of it yet.

My parents had the Dr. Spock book.

We have the Internet.

I have access to resources covering everything from schools and testing to vaccinations and how to get a kid to eat something other than mac and cheese and chicken nuggets.

There is no reason you can’t be a well-informed parent.

Not these days.

And if the Internet isn’t your bag, there are more good parenting books than ever at your local library or bookstore.

I highly recommend The Wonder Weeks, First Time Dad, and because you need to be ready for anything, The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes.

Remember It’s No Longer About You

I have accepted the fact that my vacations are no longer my own. Instead of spending a week at a fancy resort or traveling the rails of Europe, it’s about Disney and Sesame Place and water parks with goofy animal mascots.

It was hard at first. I enjoy my leisure time.

But there’s a podling by your side now who finds art museums boring and wants to go down the giant water slide… again. And again. And again.

There’s a joy in the child’s face when they get to have these silly, fantastic water-based adventures that make a good reminder that not everything is going to be about you now, but about the kid.

And that’s just fine.

So what if I’m paying for a good school instead of buying a boat? Of the two, a good school is more important.

And it’s okay if I take the boy out for the day by myself so his mother (who works hard) gets a day to herself. She deserves it, and the boy and I can find something fun.

You’re even going to find that being a father means having to adjust work and career plans.

A lot of your life has shifted its center to encompass another person.

This is an asset, not a deficit.

Be More Health-Conscious

Let’s be honest.

By the time you hit the age of fifty, fifty has been hitting back for a few years already. Your bones creak and crack a bit more in the mornings. You have to think twice before lifting certain things because you only have one spine.

If you’ve spent most of your adult life still eating like a teenager, knock it off.

Eat a vegetable.

Look, when you’re a new dad at fifty, that means when the kid is graduating high school, you’ll be pushing seventy.

If you want to be at that graduation, it’s time to get serious about your health — especially if you’d never been very serious before.

My top advice is to go get a complete physical. If you have an underlying health condition, make sure you’re handling it properly. If you’re not sure if you have a health condition or not, finding out soon is better than finding out later.

Not only will it increase your chances of being there when your kid goes to college, but you’ll also feel better longer as well and be in a better position to keep up.

Embrace the Joy

Being a dad is great. I’ve no regrets, and I’m always excited to see what’s next.

Are there challenges? Are there hardships or disappointments at times?

Sure.

But the trade-off is a fantastic journey watching your child grow up and being there every step of the way. It’s the joy and satisfaction of helping guide them.

It’s all about the love, too.

Mushy as it sounds, one of the most awesome things in the world is hearing your child say, “I love you, daddy.”

It really doesn’t get much better than that — doesn’t matter how old or young you are.

The No-Brainer Takeaway

Look, being a new dad at any age is challenging.

And easy.

Being a new dad at any age can be frustrating.

And a delight.

My advice? Make the most of the experience — for both you and your kid.

Hang in there, and you’re going to be okay. You’re going to be better than okay.

You’ll be great.

Thank you for reading. I’d love to share more with you via my Bi-Weekly Word Roundup newsletter sent to subscribers every other Sunday. It will feature news, productivity tips, life hacks, and links to top stories making the rounds on the Internet. You can unsubscribe at any time.