Five Things to Remember Every Day
They’ll make your life a whole lot better, happier, and more peaceful.
I woke up today feeling good.
Then an hour later, I got ready for the day and noticed our kitten decided to make the marital bed her litter box, soaking the duvet cover, the duvet, two more sheets, and the mattress liner. Nice.
Her litter box was dirty. Somebody wasn’t paying attention the past few days. Me.
The old me would have been pissed off. The newer me wasn't thrilled, but I told myself as I started stripping the bed, "Accept what is."
Deep breath. Start doing the wash. Move on.
There are many things to remember each day as we wake up, have our coffee, get the kids ready for school, and log on to early morning Zoom calls. But realistically, once the engines start revving, it's easy to forget what can make the difference between a great day and a lousy one — it’s not big things.
It’s the small stuff — stuff each one of us can do.
Here are five things, if practiced, that can help you make each day the best one of your life.
Nothing particularly new. Just common sense.
1. Accept your circumstances.
As a Type A, high-achieving personality, I've struggled much of my life, resisting situations and challenges out of my control. I got used to fighting and powering my way to resolution. It was often exhausting and stressful. Life was far from fun.
Gradually I've learned to stop resisting and fighting what I can't do anything about, like my trip to Venice, Italy, getting canceled on the way to the airport. Or thinking I could change the minds of dear friends with very different political and social beliefs than mine.
Or the kitten peeing in our bed.
There's no benefit or point at all to resisting or wishing something didn't happen when it already occurred. None. Zero. Zippity-do.
The only thing to do is let go and move on. Put your attention on what you can do. As hard as this sounds, mainly when strong emotions are involved, there is nothing you can do about something that’s already happened.
It's over, and the past doesn't get any better.
Accept circumstances and situations as they are. Stay calm and move forward.
2. Be present.
Have you ever talked with someone who kept looking over your shoulder at the people behind you? Or how about the person who agreed to meet with you but checks their phone every thirty seconds?
Felt weird, didn't it? They couldn't care less about you because they're not present. They're caught up in something other than the most crucial thing in their life — the present moment, where everything happens.
When you're fully present, you can respond with intention and thoughtfulness. However, when you're off balance, distracted, and on autopilot, you're more likely to react, defaulting to subconscious behavior patterns.
Presence begets strength, clarity, and thoughtfulness. Presence creates a meaningful connection between you and others.
3. Be curious about what you don't know.
Some years ago, I did some work for the Coach leather company. I learned the top thing the CEO looked for in employment candidates was how much curiosity they had.
Curiosity comes from a desire to learn, improve and grow.
When you think you're done learning and growing, you settle into thinking your cake is cooked and baked. When you screw up, you say, "Look, this is how I am."
That's the formula for becoming brittle, bitter, and resentful. Curiosity is the antidote. You might say, I'm just not that curious a person. Fair enough.
Here's an easy way to practice being more curious. When faced with a problem, personal or business, ask yourself, "What don't I know?"
Curiosity keeps you out of trouble because you’ll make fewer assumptions, judgments, and conclusions.
The mistakes that really hurt come from believing you know more than you do.
4. Be kind in your words and actions.
A kind word to the person checking you out at the grocery store. A friendly hello to a stranger on the street.
Little things are everlasting things. People remember how you made them feel more than what you actually said.
Whenever I'm kind, I feel better. Whenever I get agitated or angry, I feel worse. Pretty easy choice about which way to go.
When it comes to conflict, instead of attacking, getting defensive, or completely disconnecting, remind yourself to find a gentler and more honorable path to resolution.
And being kind doesn't mean you don’t stand up for what you believe, draw firm boundaries, or call out bullsh*t.
When you're kind, you size up the situation and choose your words and actions wisely, considering that your goal is to live a life of kindness, fairness, and respect.
5. Focus on what you can control.
Here's what's not in your control:
- How others perceive and think about you.
- The world and all the stuff going on in it.
- Beliefs of family, friends, and strangers.
- What other people say and do.
What’s in your control is how you choose to behave. The choice is always yours. No one forces you to do or say anything.
Meet Tracy Danzey.
I spoke to her a few years ago while researching an article about the chemical pollution of the water supply.
She lost her right hip and leg at age twenty to bone cancer, proven to be caused by a chemical (C-8) in Teflon. She grew up in the 1980s in a small town near Parkersburg, West Virginia as a competitive swimmer, spending up to eight hours a day in what everyone thought was clean water.
The Dupont chemical company plant made Teflon products next to the river.
She's now a mother, wife, and advocate for water protection, choosing to help clean up the environment and make our water supply safer.
She didn’t get stuck feeling sorry for herself. She went out and did something about the problem.
Focus on what you can control and influence.
Make your life and the lives of those around you better.
Summary
- Accept your circumstances.
- Be present.
- Be curious about what you don’t know.
- Be kind in your words and actions.
- Focus on what you can control.
One more thing —
I’m Don Johnson. I write essays about life, love, and the pursuit of peace, wholeness, and freedom.
Connect with me here for the occasional newsletter and a free copy of 111 Inspirational Quotes.
