Five Regrets That Slipped Through My Fingers During My 30s
Swapping my youth for wisdom helped me realize what I lost in my 30’s
Looking back to my youth, I wonder what would be different if I had changed a few things.
I believe I was too caught up thinking about the wrong things, at the fault of my ignorance and lack of life experience.
Life-altering occurrences happen to us in two ways — either in the beginning or later part of our lives.
Mine happened during the latter part.
Although our destiny still follows us, no matter our decisions, it all leads towards the same place.
But, unfortunately, humans can sometimes make it harder on ourselves by not listening — not paying attention to what’s in front of us.
Body Image
I wish I were grateful for how I looked — it wasn’t that bad
During my 30’s I decided to compete in bodybuilding shows.
Initially, I wasn't happy with my body shape and wanted to be muscular and lean.
Although it wasn’t the worst thing I could do, I suffered from weight gain for several years after my shows.
Nothing I did would shift the weight. Instead, it caused me a lot of grief, and I didn’t realize how much damage I did with excessive dieting and exercise.
I realized I wasn’t so bad before I started to torment my body. So why did I do it?
I wanted to prove to myself I could.
That came at the expense of weakening my digestion, harming my metabolism, and my self-esteem didn't do too well.
Although it all worked out in the end — after about seven years, I am grateful for the educational journey I travelled.
Now I can give first-hand advice on what plan of action works best.
Diet isn’t a big part of my vocabulary — lifestyle changes are.
So, if you have a decent physique but aren't happy — drastic actions won't hurt you now, but later on, they will.
On the other hand, having a body you are proud of takes work — and it’s a lifestyle choice. So, build it into your life plan, and keep up with it for as long as possible.
Children
I wish I were grateful for all the good and bad growth phases of my child
My daughter was in school during my thirties.
She was one of those highly energetic kids that never slept, and like any other child, she had her good and bad moments.
Sometimes she would wear everyone in the family out, wanting to do a million things every day, not sleeping—the usual antics.
It was tough for me to enjoy her presence during these times, and the voice in my head always wished she would settle down, be calm and sit peacefully with me.
What I should have done was let her be her energetic self — even though I was exhausted and on the verge of shouting.
I should have known that the day would come when this would end — and another phase of her life would begin.
Most girls detach from their parents when they move on to their tween and teenage years.
Independence, hormones, and individuality rule their lives. It’s tough to get through to them as you did when they were little.
Now I know that those moments should be cherished, whether good or bad.
As that phase eventual came to an end, I want her back to being a baby once more, when she loved hugs, kisses and laughed at my silly faces.
I’ve learned that no matter how hard it is, you must take a deep breath and let it go with kids.
They grow up so fast. But, before you know it, they are adults, living their own life, who you rarely see.
Inner self
I wish I were a lot braver
I can count hundreds of moments when I held back and didn’t say “yes” or “no” when I wanted to.
I held myself back from work opportunities, more pay, a better lifestyle and probably a better person to share this life journey.
Why did I do this? I don’t know whether it was because I didn’t believe I deserved it or was too scared of the outcome.
It could be the hard work involved whilst having a young child.
Either way, I missed out and felt like it was one of those sliding doors moments.
I just missed going into the opening of a better life.
I decided to take the long and hard road now. Perhaps this is my destiny. But that leaves me wondering where I will end up when this door starts shutting.
What I do know for sure is that no door is closing before I have the opportunity to grab every possible favourable experience that I can.
Now, I want to make sure I get all the things. After all, there is only so much time left to grab it in your 40s.
Parents
I wish that I had done more things with my mum
My mum was a typical Greek woman.
Whenever I suggested that we do something special involving money, she would always say no.
I mentioned this to my sister. She responded, “Why did you ask her? Just tell her this is what you’re doing — end of the story.” She was right.
If I had just insisted, how many more moments could we have had together?
Quite a few, indeed.
That would result in more photos for my mantlepiece & memories to add towards the millions I already have.
Although I can’t go back in time, I wish we had spent more one-on-one time together.
Time together on monumental days like birthdays, Christmas and Easter weren’t enough for me. More moments without needing an excuse would have given me a lot more joy and peace now that she’s gone.
Isn’t it strange how we take everyone in our lives for granted — and it’s only when they finally transition to the other side these feelings overflow into a river of regret?
Sixth sense
I wish I had listened to my intuition
I’ve lost count of how many times that little voice would say something, and I would ignore it. Have you ever done this too?
This voice has come up during crucial decisions.
For example, from the partner, I considered choosing a situation that would hurt me right through to my mum’s cancer diagnosis.
Before mum’s diagnosis, that voice would tell me (for a whole year, mind you) that I should spend more time with her and that she didn’t have a long time left on this earth.
I would act on the voice commands, but I thought I was losing my mind.
Mum wasn’t going anywhere — she was healthy, active, and doing well.
But I was wrong & I wasn’t losing my mind.
Listen to that advice more so when it’s telling you something you don’t want to hear.
The voice is your hurt buffer, your guardian angel telling you how it is.
Personal choice allows you to listen or suffer the consequences.
If this can help you, in some way, to be braver, spend time with a loved one, or listen to your inner voice, then I’ve done my part in bringing this personal reference to you.
As the new year draws upon us, reflect on past experiences and how they can help you ignite an unstoppable future.
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