Five Methods for Reducing the Frustrations of Impasses

Here are some solutions to try when all else fails

If people are in a difficult position where it is impossible to make progress, you can refer to the situation as an impasse. It means being in a predicament that offers no escape.

Things are in a deadlock, a blind alley with no way forward.

I have felt this way many times. It would happen when I was about to begin a behavior change, like giving up an unhealthy behavior, such as smoking and overeating.

And it is happening right now in my attempts to change my writing style, stop coffee consumption and improve posture.

Blocks and Abandonment

You may be in the same position where you want to change your behavior or outlook but lack the motivation; sometimes, you don’t even know the nature of the obstacle.

When you get stuck like this, the result may be the cessation of all effort and surrender of planned pursuits. Before you abandon ship, I urge you to consider some solutions outlined below.

Positive Features of Impasses

Impasses may also have positive outcomes if you find new paths around the block (assuming you know the difficulty). Or they can bring about a cognitive shift that prompts progress.

I had this experience in trying to stop smoking. I tried many alternative methods to stop but was unsuccessful. Nico ban, non-nicotine cigarettes, shock therapy, hypnotism, and behavior therapy, none worked. The impasse continued, for I was unsuccessful in finding a way to stop, which did not incur withdrawal symptoms that I could not stop except by more smoking.

I wanted to stop but was reluctant to pay the cost; while failing, I kept looking for a resolution that might work.

The resolution finally came via therapy when, with a therapist’s help, I understood why I smoked and had such difficulty stopping. As soon as I had these insights, I stopped immediately and haven’t smoked since.

I had a similar experience while mastering prospecting calls in sales. I experienced many months of an impasse created by fears of rejection and embarrassment.

I tried joining many business support groups to avoid the cold approach to strangers. These groups didn’t produce enough leads, so I had to resort to cold calls, which I couldn’t do.

Finally, after much frustration and failure, I realized that the norms of politeness protected you for the most part and that one becomes accustomed to rejection, especially in business calls. Finally, I started a business coaching salespeople on how to reach out to strangers with their propositions.

In both cases cited, an impasse initially occurred, but persistence in finding a workaround or a new understanding led to a resolution.

The perpetuation of ongoing tension-generating conflict demands relief. Either you quit or, if you are lucky, you find an alternative approach.

Fritz Perls states that most people would rather avoid experiencing painful emotions than do what is necessary to change. Thus, they become stuck, unable to get through the impasse, blocking their growth.

This is the case in my attempts to stop coffee consumption; I don’t want to incur the pain of withdrawal, the headaches, and the loss of the so-called coffee high that I like to think improves my writing.

I want to avoid the deprivation feeling with no coffee, plus the headaches. But it is a blow to my pride that I cannot handle these discomforts. Hence, I am stuck.

Five Methods for Breaking Impasses

Yet, there are ways to break through these impasses. Research sources provide some answers.

1. Understand your motivations. If you know why you are stuck, you can move to strategies to apply for relief. Like in the smoking example above, I knew why I smoked. It was a rebellion against my parents. But I was the victim, not them.

The realization that I was only harming myself, not them, paved the way to the solution. What had held me back was blindness to my reasons for self-sabotage.

2. Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and care. Think of how you would treat your child or loved one. Adopting this attitude may push you in the direction you already know you want.

3. Seek outside perspectives. Talking to a friend or associate can provide a new perspective and help you see your situation differently. For example, a close friend advised: “You have nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be ashamed of if you maintain your integrity.” I found this idea helpful in pushing me through my hesitancy to write and publish essays on health and well-being.

4. Experiment with novel approaches: go for uncomfortable experiences and see what you learn. Doing so may push you through an impasse and cause you to challenge your beliefs and assumptions.

5. Take care of your physical and emotional well-being: Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being can help you feel more confident, resilient, and better equipped to handle challenging situations.

Breaking through impasses within oneself can be a long journey and may take time, effort, and patience. It is essential to be kind and gentle with yourself and to remember that progress happens in small steps.

Summary

Impasses may have positive outcomes if you find new paths around the block. Self-compassion, self-care, outside perspectives, and experimentation may help halt impasses.

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