Five Lessons from a C Team Hockey Mom
True story. My kid will never play hockey in the NHL. He won’t even play in college. Heck — he probably won’t make the high school team. But, I can tell you, he works hard. He has fun. And he LOVES hockey.
Never — not in a million years did I think that my kid would be a hockey player. But, one month from now, my first season as a competitive level hockey mom will be over. It’s been a fun season. One not soon forgotten. Along the way, we had some big wins. Some tough losses. And learned important life lessons. Here are my top five.
1. This is a GAME.
Fast paced, hard fought, and hard hitting. There’s nothing like it. When your team scores, the thunderous roar can make a small local rink sound like some of the greatest hockey venues of all time. And the players jump and cheer as though they pulled off the Miracle on Ice.
My kid’s Squirt C Team coaches are fantastic role models. They support and encourage each kid. They see them as individuals. They help them find their strengths. And, they will go all Papa Bear on anyone who messes with one of their players. No kidding. That actually happened this weekend.
Skills are important. Drills are important. Getting to practice on time is important. But in the end, this is supposed to be fun. It’s a game. The kids are NINE, TEN, or ELEVEN. They are out there having fun with their friends. I am so glad to be on a team where parents and coaches realize this. And keep the GAME a GAME.
2. Hockey requires teamwork.
We like to call our team the “We Not Me” team. The second year Squirts are the leaders on the team but not superstars. They all learn together and work together. The players have a collective pride and humility. Perhaps because we are a “C” team, parents aren’t overly concerned with their kid’s play. We’re happy to see our kids contribute to the team. No matter what that contribution might be.
This weekend, my son made his first trip to the penalty box. Our team had six players on the ice, and we had to take the penalty. He is not a big goal scorer yet. Don’t get me wrong, he’s improved a lot. I think he’s amazing. But, the game was tied and the team needed their best players on the ice. My little guy was asked to “take one for the team.” That contribution. That willingness to go into the penalty box when you’ve done nothing wrong is how you become a team player. No doubt he will “take one for the team” many times in his life off the ice.
3. Winning is fun but you learn so much more from the losses.
I love it when our team wins. The game is an emotional roller coaster like none other. Every win feels like its own championship. There’s lots of excitement in the hockey mom section of the stands. And the losses can be heartbreaking. But, so much is learned from the losses. Players learn where they can improve as individuals. The team learns how to work together better. And poor officiating teaches players that life he isn’t always fair. And you overcome. I HOPE that by now they’ve learned that no matter what, the hockey parents are so proud of them.
4. Hard work pays off.
My son’s hockey career began four years ago when he was in first grade. Team sports offered a new challenge for him. Though I love hockey, it’s a tough sport. And mine is a quiet kiddo. Not the archetypal hockey player. But, I took him to our association’s waffle breakfast one September and, he insisted on skating. We found a used pair of skates at the rink, laced them up and, to my surprise, when we got him on the ice he LIT UP!!! He loved it from the beginning.
Because he is not naturally athletic, he has overcome a bigger learning-curve than his teammates. The true athletes take off with the puck and started making goals right away. I think I can count the number of goals my kid has scored in four years on two hands. But, our coaches notice hard work in every player. Regardless of ability. And when it’s acknowledged, it’s priceless.
5. We’re not a hockey team. We’re a hockey family.
One of the biggest reasons I wanted my son to play on a team was for the friendships. Ever since he was tiny, he has connected with adults better than his peers. With hockey, he has a crew — a brotherhood, if you will.
Hockey offers my son a chance to develop friendships with kids his own age. Perhaps it’s because these kids are wearing mouth guards — they aren’t talking to one another. Perhaps they’re focused on the game. Whatever the reason, these kids relate to one another as teammates. Friends who can play on the ice and on the iPad with the best of them. They are hockey brothers.
And, because they are hockey brothers, the moms are the team moms and the dads are the team dads.
At the tournament this weekend, it dawned on me that the moms are mothering all the players and the dads are fathering all the players. Though we each have our favorites, all the kids have become our kids. We travel together. Have fun together. Cheer each other on. Celebrate our successes and take our losses in stride.
When one kid gets hurt, we all hurt.
We share food. We share rides. We share practice jerseys.
We who lack crafting skills — craft hockey skate signs to hang on our doors at the hotel.
We make sure to bring siblings to the games so that the other players siblings have friends to hang out with. And the siblings entertain each other!
And when you need support outside of hockey, your hockey family will rush to your aid, boost your confidence, and get you through it. Just like our players do for each other on the ice.
