Humor
Five “Grand Party Entrance” Ideas for Excessive Attention Seekers
Don’t be lame by knocking on the door or texting “I’m here!” like everyone else.
1. The Party Police
Wear a police uniform while you bang on the door yelling, “POLICE! OPEN UP!” When the door opens, say, “OPEN UP….THIS SIX PACK!” as you hold your six pack of Natty Light in the air and everyone cheers. This option is perfect if you enjoy disappointing others then receiving praise for achieving the bare minimum.
2. The Shadow Thief
If you’re shy but still need that sweet validation, wear a black cloak and sneak in through the door behind another guest. Stick to the shadows. As soon as someone mentions your name and asks if you’re coming, reach a finger out from the shadows and tap on their shoulder. Say, “Surprise! I’ve been here for like two whole hours already! Now what’s this I hear about Kristen getting banned from Hobby Lobby after hooking up with Chad in the crochet section? She did WHAT with the crochet needle!?” Now when you meet Kristen at the party, you’ll have a fun talking point!
3. The Special Delivery
For any adrenaline-junkies out there, put yourself inside the biggest Amazon prime box you can find and have somebody deliver you to the front door. Be sure to check if your host is the type of person who immediately brings their packages inside and opens them up. If so, then puncture some air holes in the box, and bring snacks, water, and a knife in case of any package thieves. You might be in it for the long haul!
4. The Minimum Wage
If you bask in the praise of hard labor, then get a pizza delivery job weeks in advance. When the host calls for two extra large pepperoni pizzas on party night, you must be the one to deliver them, even if it means prying them out of Leroy’s greasy sausage fingers. Who cares if he’s saving up tip money to afford cancer treatment for his 8-year-old orphaned granddaughter? You’ve been planning this entrance for weeks and you can’t let him ruin it!
5. The Face/Off
Are you worried making a grand entrance will not be enough to fulfill your sad little life? Get plastic surgery to look exactly like your favorite Kardashian — the guests will be so excited when they see a celebrity walk into their party! Once they ask where you (the real you) are, say, “Sorry, they were supposed to come with me but… they died.” Everyone will go, “Wow, I didn’t know they were friends with Rob Kardashian — that’s so rad!” After the party, steal Rob Kardashian’s identity and enjoy a comfortable new lifestyle.
