“Fitting In” Is Different Than “Belonging”

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be, to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” by Brené Brown

Have you ever felt like not fit in when you are in a room?

Do you bow down in the house of Rimmon?

Are you a lonely little petunia in an onion patch?

When you have a job interview, do you prepare sentences to explain how you are suitable for that company and position?

Do you try to be harmonious in your social life?

People often try to change ourselves to be approved by people and make more an effort to fit in somewhere or a group.

Since we attach unnecessary importance to people’s thoughts about us and by asking ourselves, “what people think about me?”, we are putting significant pressure on our shoulders.

On the other hand, as human beings, we need to not only be a part of a group but to feel part of it. We want to be part of something bigger than us. We desire to belong to our family, friends, classmates, colleagues, or neighborhood.

The fact is fitting in and belonging are different things.

In Brené Brown’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection,” she claims that

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be, to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

If you change yourself to feel belonging somewhere, you just fit in it without your true self.

Contrary, the real sense of belonging is a situation that happens effortlessly.

The truth is simple. Nobody fits in everywhere fully.

We are all unique. Embrace who you are.