avatarJussi Luukkonen – your curiosity guide

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BUSINESS | SOCIAL MEDIA | META

First Time In History, Prostitutes Pay For The F**k: Meta Screws You With The Big Blue Badge.

While losing money, Meta tries to get you to fund their cock-ups.

Zuckerberg is dangerous for your health. It will cause you digital diabetes and make you addicted to its subscription that will screw you. Image by günther from Pixabay

The news had some fun today. Meta is in the mood again.

While they reportedly were laying off 11,000 workers and announced a third consecutive quarter of revenue declines, they came up with a brilliant idea.

– “Let’s make the hookers pay,” was the war cry from Z-berg’s summit, “let’s put a tax on fucks”.

And so it was decided that Australia and New Zealand would become a test bed (pun intended) for a new, revolutionary revenue-sharing model as reported by the ABC and many others.

What is this alarming Big Blue Badge?

It is a subscription service where you pay for the fun of becoming an authentically and securely resellable whore of Meta. You pay, Meta sells you to advertisers repeatedly, and you carry the risk of becoming infected with heaven-knows-what business shit.

Your rear parts hurt, and Zuckerberg licks his fingers.

Money doesn’t smell, even if Meta does.

What does this mean?

The move does not have anything to do with your privacy or security. Meta is just monetising your fear and stupidity.

Why did you go to their platform in the first place? What value did you get? I have not got anything from FB or Meta, but their advertisers have tried to fool me since they knew my account exists.

Now there are so many other options that letting Meta do its unethical and dodgy businesses at your cost is stupid.

What if Toyota were like Meta?

Most of us frequently travel by car. Many of them are made by Toyota, the dull but reliable revenue collector from Japan whose products move you from place A to B.

In my nightmare, Z-berg went to Toyota, and they saw the light, and what happened next is history.

Every time you buy a car, you get it, but it’s open to all who have a key, and all keys are similar (like FB basically now is wide open one-way street for them to monetise you). If you want to ensure that nobody takes your car, you start paying a monthly key fee of $14.99 per key for eternity.

Each family member has to have their own key subscription.

As a token of your authentic key, a Blue Badge appears on the windscreen of your new Toyota.

If you happen to be a bald, thick but well-dressed, middle-aged man who drives the biggest UTE there is, your badge also appears as a hologram floating on the bonnet to make it suggest the size of the driver’s dick.

On the other hand, if you are a slim lady with the latest gadgets and driving a trendy SUV, the hologram is boobsized on the grille. As an extra cost, they are available as botox injections that make the lips look like baboons’ Bloated Behinds But Blue.

For the rest of us, no hologram but a humble badge is telling that only you can start the engine. It is also recommended that government officials turn off the optional hologram in case the car they got belongs to the upper price brackets. The public servants don’t want to look like dicks: they are in service like all paid ladies and gentlemen of the old trade.

You get the picture. The Big Blue Badge becomes a status symbol telling all you have what it takes to drive your own Toyota.

Back to Meta and their ruthless stupidity.

Meta and Twitter try their hardest to screw us, but their tools are pretty sloppy.

Even my older sister, at the ripe age of 76, has started searching for alternatives. She is fed up with the forced add feeding of the Z-berg kingdom. And so am I. And you should, too.

And the next step is visible. Twitter announced on Saturday that “users would lose their ability to secure their accounts with two-factor authentication unless they pay the $8 monthly Twitter Blue subscription”, according to ABC.

Z-berg will follow suit for sure.

Soon the users will pay more and more, and their privacy and security will be in the hands of these billionaires who will sell you for sure because that’s the only way they can make money. That’s their business model. You are their product, nothing else. You are the slut however well you dress your profile.

It’s a long road from the pimp economy to the esteem economy.

As a short-fused optimist, I believe that there is hope.

These social media juggernauts are just trying to wear the emperor’s new clothes. But we all see that they are just useless dicks.

As long as Apple waves the flag of privacy and security that truly belongs to the product owner, these so-me charlatans do not have any future. They may try to squeeze a few billion from us, but billions of us will, in the end, vote with our fingers and delete the useless accounts — securely and safely.

Goodbye Twitter and Meta, RIP. Hopefully soon.

It’s time for an esteem economy based on respect, honesty and integrity. And the emergency of it depends on us, not on Musk or Zuckerberg.

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