First Fifty Days Since Mom’s Passing

Living life without being able to share the highlights with my mother

The initial 50 days since my Mom earned her wings and departed this earth have been a whirlwind, to say the least. First there was informing all the family and friends, neighbors, and church associates. Such sadness as the news of Mom’s death spread. There were all the grandkids and greats, nieces and nephews, godsons, and other close friends and former neighbors to notify.

Then flowers and plants began to arrive — so many in fact, the home actually began to look and smell like a funeral home. I knew Mom would be happy that our good friend and terrific florist, David Mattingly, owner/operator of David’s Flowers in Leonardtown was getting so much business as a result of her entrance to heaven. David’s arrangements are always so beautiful and tend to last a long time, too. The mailbox soon was overflowing with cards and letters from far and wide, each one filled with loving messages and memories being shared.

A few days after Mom’s death, we learned of the death of a very close friend of Mom’s. I guess God needed a few magnificent women in a hurry. I envision the two of them in heaven finally having time to sit and chat, catch up and laugh.

There was the flurry of arrangements to be made at the funeral home. While Mom is being buried at Arlington National Cemetery with my father, who passed 15 years ago in October, there is a delay in the scheduling of her burial ceremony. With the pandemic, a Mass of Christian Burial is being put on hold until at least the Spring, when perhaps more people will be able to attend. We selected Mom’s outfit — only worn once before, at the wedding in October of 2018 of a granddaughter. Not many people saw her in that ensemble, as the wedding was in Pittsburgh (I should say “Pittsbuuuuuurgh), and it was the most frigid cold of days so we had Mom bundled up so tightly in scarves, coat, and blankets that not many even saw her outfit! Father David Beaubien, pastor at nearby St. Aloysius Catholic Church was available to join a sister and me in person at the funeral home for prayers and a blessing, while the 6 other of my siblings joined us via Zoom to witness the closing of Mom’s casket.

Since that time, it has been a rush to pack, purge, donate items, have an estate/garage sale of my belongings, and continue packing. The home went on the market quickly and it wasn’t listed for too long before an offer was made. There had been a bird sanctuary outside my Mom’s kitchen window with a previous Christmas pine tree, root ball and all, that Mom had planted many years ago, that the birds just loved, and a butterfly bush that the close friend of Mom’s who died just days after Mom’s death had given Mom in memory of Dad at the time of his passing in 2005. The landscaping firm was told to remove the pine tree and butterfly bush, so one morning those were literally mowed down. For days, birds kept returning to the location in the yard that used to have plenty of birdseed for them to feast upon, and they would look around, somewhat confused. I believe their reaction would have caused my sweet Mom to smile, had she seen their bewilderment.

Lots of changes, that’s for sure. The day I went to donate some unopened medical supplies to Hospice of St. Mary’s, as driving down the road, James Taylor came on the radio with his rendition of “You’ve Got a Friend.” Well, that sure got to me … there I was driving and crying. Much more of that will come, I am sure, but the first 50 days have been a whirlwind of emotions. On this 50th day since my Mom’s passing, it is Mom’s sister Rita’s birthday. Rita died last November, on my mother’s birthday. She said she didn’t want an angel for her birthday. So here’s hoping my Mom and my Godmom, Aunt Rita, are celebrating together, along with their sister Dorothy, having a heavenly birthday gathering, celebrating Rita. Mom’s birthday will come in November. I’m sure that will be another tough day. In the meantime, it’s day by day, with 50 down and lots more to come. Love and Miss my Mom, each and every day!