Finding The River Within

Where do I go to tap into my overflow?

Writing prompt #2 for Colors of Life: My cup runneth over

After I read the touching and deeply impactful offering of Yana Bostongirl, I initially felt a scarcity mindset. Why? I don’t know. Does my cup run over? My cup felt empty when pondering whether I would add to this prompt.

The love that she described with her partner made my heart melt. Yana seems to have that type of love that’s like a cocoon. You feel loved and nurtured in that womb, but you grow, change, and get better beyond that. You become a new creation and fly high together.

Look, I’ll admit, sometimes I compare my life when I know I shouldn’t. Yes. Please give me the lecture. I read where she was and where she is now. Her valleys make you marvel at their mountains. I looked at my current love life and thought, am I there yet? I have a unique situation that’s not fully realized and manifested. I desire it to be, but it does exist. It lives.

I’m guarded and private with my relationships. It’s in a delicate phase as a seed in the darkness. I shared it with someone, and I’m sorry I did. They weren’t supportive and projected their skepticism on me because they didn’t understand it. People do that a lot, don’t they?

Some people don’t believe anything until they see it; even when they see it, they instead analyze it. Your romance is sacred. I keep it close right now. That advice is just for me because I love seeing my friend Yana abundant in joy like she is.

I’m a poet who mixes metaphors and my real life just enough not to get the comment, “You’ll find the right one day.” I don’t like advice like that for some reason — just a pet peeve of mine. Lord, help me shift this article because I don’t want it to be dark and mundane. I like uplifting you all.

So when I read the words.

🌸So here we are at prompt #2 for Colors of Life: How does your cup runneth over?

It can be anything, big or small, that fills your heart with joy.

Yana BG

I was like, wow! Such a hopefully optimistic prompt. It felt as innocent as a child’s laughter and pure as the newly fallen snow. Cup running over? At that moment, it seemed like I had nothing to give.

I said immediately to myself I will pass on this one. I have nothing for it. I’ll support Yanas’ story and keep it moving. My spirit said, “Oh, you think you’re passing on this is your choice? You sure about that?” My soul reminded me of what happens when I become absolute about saying no to writing challenges. It flashed my history before me.

You see, when I say no to any writing project, that means I am challenged or uncomfortable. I wrote one of the best songs I’ve ever written when my producer challenged me with a beat I hated. I told him I was not too fond of that beat and remembered him not being offended.

I thought, what if I write to a beat I dislike? The rest is history. A song called The Chase was born. I’ll write more in-depth about that song in the future. That was a challenge.

This prompt was probably uncomfortable because I didn’t want to be predictable and say mother nature, the moon, the stars, the sun, and the universe are my overflow. I’ve also already been writing about the rain and Autumn a lot.

The topic of genuine love makes me feel vulnerable. That void hasn’t been filled in a long time in the physical form, but spiritually, it has to count for something, right? My faith is becoming stronger.

I remember being “with,” married, or whatever you want to call it, and she laid right next to me; it felt like the coldest winter, so having someone right in your face doesn’t matter. Are they on the same page as you? Present with you?

We like to believe another human being can be that source of bliss. The love you share with your partner is an ingredient in the recipe of life. There are many times that I, unfortunately, didn’t have that warm body and soul to draw affection from, so where did I get it? I tapped into some harmful sources, but the positive ones superseded the bad stuff.

So what frequency did I tap into when the world felt like a lovely and harsh place? Well, the first time I remember investing in myself was in 1997. It was a year in that I had nothing going on romantically. I remember I was focused. I worked two jobs, and my finances were abundant at the time. I had enough money to buy musical equipment to feed my newfound desire to write, play and record music. It was the birth of me being a producer.

I remember buying a guitar, conga drums, mics, and a Tascam 4-track recorder. I was in heaven. I could go to someone’s high price studio and feel rushed because the clock was ticking. I could record my songs whenever I wanted. It was the first time I had created this artistic secret place to be creative, expressive, and accessible.

Seven years earlier, when I was living with my Mother, she created that same atmosphere in our apartment. She would play praise and worship with her hands lifted, giving glory to God.

I remember coming home from my job as a stock clerk, and our living room was saturated with the presence of the Lord. I remember feeling peace and unconditional love. We also had a picture on the wall about Jesus being the living water.

We also attended a church called The River of Life at the time. All these memories made indelible impressions on me. When It was my time to be renewed in those waters, it was always there for me. How does my cup overflow? It’s filled with the joy of the Lord.

I’m profuse with gratitude. I’m grateful that God gave me an imagination and the gifts of art to receive and then give back to the world. That is my blessing that I have no more room to receive. Everything else in my life will be aligned because I give Him glory first.

As I end this story, I want to share with you a song that played inside me when I said no to this prompt. I wrote it in the highly creative year (1997) I spoke of in my small, cozy studio apartment. My cousin/producer laid down a beautiful piano track, and I picked up my guitar and began strumming to it. These are some of the lyrics that came out.

The River Within

Lead me to that river that I can not see; it runs endlessly

Step inside of yourself, and then you can heal yourself and reveal yourself

I need some time

For peace of mind

I need to find

The river inside.

Walter P.o.p. Matthews IV

As long as I have this river within me that is constant and never ends, my cup will always runneth over.

Thank you for reading.

Amy Lee Kite Wrote an article about her Father that will make you cry, warm your heart and inspire you. She’s also a kind human being.

Carol Townend wrote an article that raised awareness of climate change. I love the rain, but I sure don’t want to build an ark, and it rains forever.

Yana Bostongirl Inspired my article, so I had to add her offering.

William J Spirdione His nature verse is always an immersive experience.