Monday Prompt
Finding the Heart and Spiritual Courage to Calm this Storm
With a little help from Don Miquel Ruiz’ Four Agreements
How does 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 read my mind?
How does she know I am tempest-tossed in a sea storm of treasury transition at my church.
The outgoing treasurer has moved away and taken some of the vitals with her. She’s consumed with learning the ropes for a new, high-pressured administrative job.
But when she does get time, she’s organizing the books and info with painstaking, meticulous rigor, which gobbles up lots of precious time.
The incoming treasurer is anxious, and I mean 9.9 out of 10, anxious to get started not only paying bills but organizing things her way, with innovation and automation.
Because I can speak to and sometimes get information from each of them faster than one can from the other, I’m caught smack dab in the middle.
And I am doing my best to not only stay calm but to bring that calm and some common sense into the choppy seas.
Even with help, it’s hard.
Secret confession: I am not doing this all by my lonesome. I have help.
First of all, I pray about this every day. And I let them both know. We are a church, after all. And my spiritual mentor prays this up with me as well as on her own. So we’ve got Spirit fully engaged here as well. We are as Higher Powered as we know to be.
Which helps a heck of a lot!
Praying right before I talk to either of them puts me in that calm, peaceful space, with an expansive consciousness that hopefully has space enough for each of these women’s needs, approaches, and quirks.
The outgoing treasurer has so much on her plate she does not appreciate being pressured. When she feels harassed, her initial reaction is to pull back and withdraw. This means it takes longer to get things transferred.
The incoming treasurer needs to be reminded of this paradoxical process. How if she pushes too hard to get things asap, it ends up taking longer than she’d like it to.
I was able to say to her that we can and should ask for what we need, but we don’t control when the info comes.
If that means we adjust (meeting times, for example) on our end, so be it. We can’t control what another will do. Except for the reverse engineering part. How our pressuring people delays things.
Would that none of this were so!
My patience wears thin, and time ticks and tocks. As the song says, how long has this been going on? Over a month.
Thankfully, there is not too much more to go. In terms of information, drop boxes, passwords, checks, and Quickbooks.
But the human drama — who knows. Other members of our board’s patience wears thin, and I can quickly feel outnumbered.
I’ve stolen a new mantra from Finding Nemo’s Dory — Just keep praying, just keep praying. When I shared with my mentor that I would love to not be in the middle, here’s how she responded:
I hear that! But since you actually are in the middle, fully BE in the middle! Embrace it, take it on, and let it be your teacher.
Oy Vey, but Okay!
Cause if I bowed out, things could heat up and get worse. This is not sustainable over the long haul, but for right now, here I am — worried but willing, frustrated but patient, crazy but at the same time curious.
Ironically they each have said to me at separate times, we’re okay, we will get through this! To which I smile and whisper AMEN! May it be soon!
On deeper reflection, my interventions have gotten some information transferred sooner. And speaking bluntly to the new treasurer gave me a measure of peace, but I’m not sure it did for her.
How can I bring peace not just to me but to all three of us and the three other members of the Board of Directors as well?
First, by staying calm myself, with firm emotional boundaries, so I don’t get sucked into the drama. Be the peace I wish to see. Think it, feel it, speak it.
Second, by Staying Connected to Spirit, Ever Prayerful
This allows me to help reframe comments made and deadlines imposed. It allows me to remind us all to take deep breaths, lower the decibels of our voices, and listen more deeply and carefully to each other.
And to Trust
To stand in the vision of a smooth transition already completed and not let go. To speak to the current moment in and from that vision, knowing that this is who we are as spiritual beings. And to call us to our higher selves when we seem to lose our way.
This requires me to deepen my faith. Maybe that’s why I’m in the thick of it. Isn’t there always a higher purpose at play? Bingo! The lesson for me to really get is God’s got this because God’s got us!
When I stand in my fullest, deepest faith and love, I can allow events to unfold.
Let me remember and apply Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements:
The Four Agreements are:
- Be Impeccable With Your Word.
- Don’t Take Anything Personally.
- Don’t Make Assumptions.
- Always Do Your Best.
I can fully accept everyone is doing the best they can, without making any assumptions about their motives. I can do my best by honoring everyone involved, mastering my emotions, and staying prayed up.
I can be impeccable with my word. This means speaking my truth in a gentle, mindful, but confident way. Assertive, not too passive or aggressive. Which means a little stronger with the outgoing and a little gentler with the incoming treasurers.
Isn’t there a fifth agreement about love? I can only do the above if I’m grounded in the deepest, highest love there is. I’ve felt love all through this as I deeply care about both of them. Now I can embody that love with every fiber of my being — which may mean being a bit more vulnerable, especially with the outgoing treasurer.
Gulp. Can I do that? Yes, I can!
Wow! If it weren’t for this prompt, I wouldn’t have gotten to this insight!!! So once again, thank you 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊.! There’s more work to be done — on me!
Marilyn Flower writes political humor and satire to delight socially and spiritually conscious folks. She’s a regular columnist for the prison newsletter, Freedom Anywhere, where she writes about faith and prayer. Five of her short plays have been produced in San Francisco. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Stay in touch!
