Finding Strength in Disappointment: Coping Strategies for Emotional Resilience
When promises are not kept
Ah, the sweet taste of disappointment — my favourite — said no one ever. But as a child, I had the privilege of experiencing just that. I won a writing competition, put my heart and soul into it, and what did I get? No prize, no recognition. Nada. Zilch.
Broken promises can be deeply disappointing, especially when they involve something we care about. But hey, at least I got a good story out of it.. here we go…
I always thought winning was the ultimate prize until I won and was promptly ignored by the teacher. The real prize was the valuable life lesson on the importance of following through on commitments and the impact of broken promises on trust. I guess you could say I won and lost simultaneously — it’s a win-lose situation!
See my poem below!
Part of 365 Days of Writing: One Article Join Me!
I do not like to ask for things
Reflecting on this experience, I’ve realised that it helped shape my attitude towards advocating for myself and what I deserve. It taught me that I shouldn’t have to make a fuss or demand what is rightfully mine.
Additionally, it instilled in me the value of keeping my promises and following through with what I say I will do.
Perhaps that’s why I feel strongly about sending birthday gifts to each student we tutor — I understand small gestures impact on people’s lives.
‘It’s interesting to think that one experience has impacted my life and how I approach things.’
‘Even as an adult, I struggle with asking for anything. This trait has both positive and negative aspects.’
Striking a balance between support and unwanted interference
On the one hand, it has motivated me to work hard and become self-sufficient from a young age. On the other hand, it has also made me hesitant to advocate for myself in personal and professional situations.
I have learned that there is a fine line between being assertive and pushy and that speaking up for what I believe in and deserve is important. While I am still working on finding the right balance, I sometimes worry that I come across as too pushy. I am especially driven to help my friends and family achieve their goals, but I have also realised that sometimes it is necessary to leave people to their own devices if they are not as committed to their tasks as I am. lol!
Advocating for others
As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to advocate for myself and others through my writing. I write letters outlining cases and asking for help.
For example, I recently advised a student’s parent to request a move to a higher math set, and the student ended up coming top of the class in the second set. I’ve also written letters to help a friend with mould conditions find new housing and to support a homeless young man in finding a place to live.
Besides advocating for my students, I’ve also written numerous letters to government officials and local councillors. These letters have had a positive impact when they were needed the most, proving that the pen is often mightier than the sword.
Did not realise how painful this is
In the past, I’ve only ever jokingly mentioned a story to my students about a teacher who affected me. However, as I write this, I realize how painful it was and that I was just a resilient child with no voice to say what I wanted.
Writing as therapy — here, pour out my pen to you…
Having experienced disappointment myself, I turned to writing as a way to cope with my feelings.
I wrote a poem about not winning the prize, and now I share this disappointment within this sad poem. Please ensure you stay sad for me… feel my pain … or you could laugh at my misfortune,” said the poet with a hint of sarcasm.
After all, sometimes the best way to deal with disappointment is to poke fun at it and move on!
Promise, No Promise
By Sophia Tell
The prize was for all,
Work had to stand tall.
Writing had to be bright,
A work of art, shining light.
I poured my soul out,
For weeks I toiled, no doubt.
Perfecting words,
Learning with each line, my world.
Overtaken only once,
But weak conjecture, they sown.
Dove deep into my soul, I did seek
An imagination pure and deep.
I laid down my pen,
My creation complete, and then,
Silence unleashed discreet,
My spirit breached.
I won, or so I was told,
No prize came, heart cold.
My splendour not upheld,
Disappointment welled.
I did not ask or beg,
Recognition promised but fled.
Silence echoes, instead,
Broken promise, my spirit dead.
Thanks for reading!
Ways to deal with disappointment — I have found them useful :
- Writing is therapeutic and can help you put your feelings on paper or take your mind off things.
- Sports: Engaging in physical activity, such as sports, can help you release positive energy and take your mind off of things. For example, which I love, ice skating can be a great way to clear your mind and enjoy some time alone.
- Meditation: Practicing mindfulness or meditation can help you relax and take a break from negative thoughts.
- Talking: Talking to a trusted friend, counsellor, or therapist can help you process your emotions and gain perspective on the situation.
- Self-care: Engaging in activities that help you relax and unwind, such as taking a relaxing bath, visiting a sauna, or going to a wellness centre, can be very helpful.
- Walking: Walking can help you clear your mind and get fresh air. Walking with friends can be a great way to connect and gain support.
- Positive self-talk: Talking positively to yourself and reminding yourself that you are loved and deserving of good things can help you stay motivated and focused on the positive.
- Laugh and move on! Because let’s face it, sometimes the best way to deal with disappointment is to laugh it off and move on!
Do you have any other coping mechanisms? Do share!
©Sophia Tell. All rights reserved.
Have a fabulous day.