Finding Fabulous: A Call to Action for Women of a Certain Age

For the next few minutes, I want to talk to the women who doubt themselves, those who look in the mirror and miss the version of themselves that stared back a decade ago. Millions of us all over the world lament the beauty and youth we never appreciated when we were young, leaving us desperately trying to recapture what we can from all that remains.

I’m one of you. The bright, fresh complexion is no longer either of those things, my waist is slowly disappearing, and there is a fatigue in my eyes that no amount of eye makeup or highlighter can possibly eliminate. I’m 48, a year into taking HRT, and I have a pathological loathing of all forms of exercise. The net result isn’t bad — I still look okay, but only ‘for my age.’ Add to that, I have eyesight that defies laser surgery and all available contact lens prescriptions, and I am about ready to knit a cardi and settle into old age.

Or at least I was until I came across ‘Ted Lasso,’ and the powerhouse that is Hannah Waddingham. She plays Rebecca Welton, a recently divorced and deeply hurt woman in her mid to late 40s who happens to own a football club. The character is fantastic, with depth and emotion that makes her impossible not to love.

Hannah and her alter ego, Rebecca, dazzled me with their unapologetic fabulousness. Never at any stage did I get the sense that there was any hesitation about how she looked, what she was or should be wearing, or being any less strong and feminine than she ever had been. It was like a breath of fresh air.

She’s very tall, curvy, and started out as a plus-size model, with platinum blonde hair and a waist cinched so tightly it takes your breath away. In every image of her, she is a bombshell, a goddess, like someone who stepped from a 1950s movie. But she has lines on her forehead, no sign of any botox or fillers; she looks like a woman in her mid to late 40s without apology. And she looks amazing.

And yet, she’s just a few months older than me.

Now, what does this mean for those of us who live in the real world and don’t have access to a killer wardrobe of gorgeous clothes and a team for hair and makeup?

Well, I take it to mean we can be whatever the hell we want to be. I take it to mean that we can wear a dress that shows our tummy because why the hell, shouldn’t we? I believe it means we can stand up straight, hold our heads up and be exactly who we feel like being, even with our glasses on.

Whenever I see Hannah Waddingham strut her stuff as Rebecca Welton, I am reminded that glamour and strength are my birthrights, regardless of age. I am reminded that my body has served me through more than I could ever have imagined. I am reminded that I don’t look like I did when I was 25 because I’m not 25 anymore! I’ve lived. I’ve experienced joy and sadness, comfort and pain, and I’ve given birth and lost loved ones.

Ladies, it’s time to stop feeling sad about what we’ve lost, and instead, it’s time to invest in ourselves and embrace what we have because we have so much! We are sexy and experienced, we don’t suffer fools, we are resilient, we know what we want (mostly), and we are fabulous.

It might feel like all that fabulousness is buried under baggy clothes and dark circles, but trust me, ladies, it’s still there. Dusty and rusty, perhaps, but if you look inside yourself, you’ll find it, and I promise you a little love and attention will see it shine and radiate fabulousness in no time.

So pull out that clingy dress or those skinny-fit jeans, pull yourself up to full height, and if you wear glasses, get a pair that makes you feel like a goddess. Show your upper arms, don’t hide your knees, and don’t be afraid to wear that red lippy or whatever it is that you are worried about. Just do it.

Every lump, bump, wrinkle, shadow, and grey hair proves we have lived.

And we aren’t done yet. I refuse to be.