Find Your Why

Find the why in what you're passionate about…

What drives you to wake up in the morning? To find your why you must first have the drive to accomplish something each day. For some people, it may be as simple as a morning coffee or a jog down the street and for others, it may be getting up to write an article as I’m doing right now.

Sometimes we wonder how we can stay motivated each day. In order to stay motivated, we must first find what drives us to get up in the morning in the first place. We have certain goals and we first need the drive to go after what we want to accomplish.

I love reading and writing about mental health. But I must be honest and say the writing was the last thing I thought I would do. I had a professor in community college who bluntly stated I should never become a writer because I would fail at it. He even stated this to most students in his class. So let’s just say he had a very negative outlook on life, and being in his class would make you miserable. He also spoke negatively about news media and celebrities. Thinking back about him and his views, he really hated people in general. He reminded me of Mr Scrooge, always passive aggressive and rude.

Don’t pay attention to Nay-Sayers

There will be times when people may bring you down. You might say you want to be a singer one day or a graphic designer, and then they completely shoot your dreams down and say “no you won’t be good at it.” You know who some of these people are, they go on a tangent on all the reasons you shouldn't go for what you want. The hard part is that these people who say this might be your own friends or family.

You need to learn how to cut the noise and nonsense. If you really want to do it then move forward with one of your goals and do it with out the thoughts and opinions of others. If you were to really take what other people say about you into consideration would you be where you are right now? Maybe or maybe not.

I remember telling people that I want to study psychology, and they were like “oh no that is not good. You will not have the stomach to deal with other people’s problems.” The comments went on and on to the point that I just stopped telling people, and I did go on to study psychology regardless of what others thought.

When you start following your passion, the thoughts and opinions of others won’t matter. This will lead me to my next point.

Don’t be afraid of failure

Failure leads to success. Eventually, you will succeed because you continued to try and not give up. Successful people see failure as a teachable moment where as unsuccessful people see failure as defeat. You must learn to try again in your own way or do something else.

Stop seeking approval and validation.

Some people are automatically attracted to being included in a group and fitting in. When they are in a group, they feel complete and so included, they feel a sense of purpose. This can be healthy and unhealthy. It’s good to be in a group, but it’s not good to allow it to define who you are, because we are all different. Find comfort in solitude and in loving yourself enough to forget what others think. Stop seeking friendship and approval from people who can care less about you. Successful people are good at cutting the noise of other people. They don’t care what others think of their next move or plans, they simply take action and do it. Remember that the right people will support you, and that in time you outgrow people. Think of that one friend in high school you were always with all the time and then all of a sudden they find out you got accepted into a really good college and they just stop speaking to you. You wonder why and I will tell you why, its because you outgrew them. They are still into smoking or partying and you are all of sudden talking about your goals. You stop and think that maybe you're being lame only to then realize your simply just growing up.

Making decisions based on logic instead of emotions.

Make the choice that makes the most sense for you, instead of thinking about what other people may think. We do this a lot. Do you wear an outfit because you like it or because you know your significant other will like it? I remember when my ex told me I don’t need to wear makeup, I then told him I don’t wear makeup for him, I wear it for me. Should you take another person opinion or thoughts into consideration? Yes, but should you allow it to dictate your life? No, because you're the driver of your car no one else. I say this analogy because some of us let other people take the wheel and we let them make all the choices for us.

When we allow others to make a lot of decisions in our lives, we crash because your not driving your car someone else is.

The big one for me was deciding to leave a job, do you leave because you're miserable there or stay because you don’t want people to talk bad about you and have negative views of you because you left? People do not pay your bills so if you are not happy at that place then you should start searching for something else. It’s not easy and we also stay because hello! we have bills to pay, but it’s not good to feel stuck because where there is a will there is a way. There’s a Spanish saying my mom always said “no vive con la gente” it means stop living with the people. It means to make choices based on what’s best for you and remember to not beat yourself up about any past decisions. Thinking about the woulda, coulda, shoulda and worrying is like suffering twice. Live in the moment and keep doing what you like.

Thank you for reading this article! and I hope you took some key points with you about finding your why.