“Find Your Passion”

But what if it’s not that easy?

I know how you feel. Everything you read on bettering yourself tells you to “find your passion”.

You sigh or scowl at the advice, thinking of all the lucky people who have “found their passion” and reached success.

You think maybe, just maybe, if you knew what your passion even was you could reach that same success.

The reality is that most do have a passion, they just have a gargantuan list of them. However, we live in a world that preaches about choosing that one passion and pursuing it.

You realize time is running out and the longer you sit on this decision, the more your life passes you by.

You visualize so many things for yourself, and you’re stuck in those visions of a life that may never materialize.

I want to try and help you because I’ve been there before. I know how that feels. Hell, sometimes I’m still there.

I’ve been on this “passion train” for a long time, and only recently have I decided what is best for me in terms of my “passion”.

For me, the problem was that I had too many passions, and I really really really wanted to pursue them all.

These weren’t just some little “that would be cool” type of passions. These were all things I wanted to pursue with the same intensity and master.

Throughout my journey of discovering what my passion would be, I’ve found several approaches that I hope can be of some aid to you.

Understand this: It doesn’t matter what I show you. Ultimately, it is up to you.

I can only steer you in the right direction (or wrong, there’s no denying that).

You have to make the decision, and that’s the hard part. That’s where we lose.

That’s where self-help loses people, at the actual “doing” stage of it all.

But I digress, here are the 3 approaches. At the end of the article, I will briefly describe what approach I went with so that you can see my whole thought process on all of this (if you care to read it).

I want to warn you, though. Some of this advice is hard to hear. It speaks on things that are super important to you, and that can be a touchy subject. This is about your future, so I deeply understand. But that’s also why some of this advice is as real as it gets.

If you really wanna get to what I consider the good stuff, look at Approach #3.

But now we begin:

Approach 1: The Multi-Passionate

Maybe your problem is that you have too many passions. This is a big one. There are so many things you could pursue. It’s so hard to pick!

This was me. Trust me, I understand.

The “multi-passionate” approach first accepts and acknowledges this different breed of you. It labels you a “multi-passionate”

We have our own term! In a world where everyone is telling you to “pick one thing” and pursue that to the end of eternity, having multiple passions saddens us.

We want to do them all, and we are realizing we can’t (probably).

Well, in this approach that I call the “multi-passionate” approach, they often think differently.

I was exposed to this whole “multi-passionate” idea through the likes of Violeta Nedkova, Marie Forleo, and Elizabeth Gilbert.

In fact, Elizabeth Gilbert has a great speech that she did on Oprah about the whole thing.

Turns out, what seems like a minority of people who are “multi-passionate”, there’s actually way more than you’d think.

In fact, one could argue that everyone is multi-passionate. There are so many people who want to do several things. That’s just human nature.

In this approach, I’ve often found that it is more so about acknowledging you are different and supporting the idea that you can do all of your passions.

This doesn’t pertain to this approach alone, but I probably see it here more than anywhere else: Multi-passionates believe that nothing is wasted.

The experiences you learn from something else can influence the others. Most multi-passionates think that through all of your passions you can create a niche for yourself that incorporates aspects from all.

This can be very freeing for a lot of people. The idea that people are telling you the way you think is okay, that you can indeed do everything you want to do, especially if you find a way to combine them, is very…affirming.

The well-known entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuck once said in one of his many videos out there that you’re “one thing” can be that you do “many things”. I like this idea quite a bit.

In fact, many argue (that in a world that’s always growing and advancing, being one-dimensional is no longer a thing that will suit you. Being multi-dimensional will benefit you more and help you thrive.

Now there’s a little bit of nuance to that whole idea. Being multi-dimensional in my eyes doesn’t necessarily equate to being multi-passionate, but it can, depending on your passions.

I think the whole idea of being multi-dimensional is more so saying don’t be so hard-pressed on one thing that you can’t even live in today’s society. You should be able to do a few things, but that’s not necessarily a passion thing. I don’t think people who argue to “do one thing” would dispute this.

You’re probably seeing some potential pitfalls of this approach though. I won’t bother trying to guess. I think most pitfalls pertain to the individual and what they think is best for them. One’s cons may be another’s pros.

It’s important to also note that not all multi-passionates fall under what I call the “multi-passionate approach”. In fact, this is probably a misnomer. Multi-passionates exist in all of these approaches I came up with.

I’m a multi-passionate who doesn’t fall under this approach myself.

We could probably call this approach the “it’s okay, do everything and find a way” approach. But that’s a long title, right?

Maybe we could think of it as the “Jack of All Trades” approach.

Now for something on the opposite spectrum…

Approach 2: Pick One Thing (dammit)

You probably saw this coming.

I’ll make this one short. It’ll be easy because it’s a simple approach.

This idea basically says that you can’t do everything, so stop trying.

In trying to do everything you will end up doing nothing.

By picking one thing you will be able to put all or most of your energy into it and reach great success.

Think of all the successful athletes or classical musicians or artists or lawyers or doctors or blah blah blahs that you know. These are specialized fields.

These are people who picked (some forced, I guess) what they wanted to do and went through lots of training, conservatories, or books to get to where they ended up (or all of those things).

This is one thing that they did, and boy, didn’t they do it.

“Taking action” is the epitome of this idea. There’s not much room at all for “combining several things”. This is pure mastery. No “jack of all trades, master of none” here.

Look, this doesn’t apply to everyone who is more under this approach. There are many people that are successful masters in one thing that can do other things.

It may be that the extent in which they can do those other things isn’t as great as someone who gives energy to several things, though(i.e. “Multi-passionate” approach).

People who pick one thing and commit and go all in usually don’t have much time to develop other things to be as good.

Too much divided energy could ensure that they won’t level up to the top of their field. Some of these fields, like being a classical musician, for instance, are super competitive. If your plan is to reach the top, then you need to focus on that one passion.

The ones at the top aren’t doing other things. They are putting intense, sometimes extreme, and deliberate hours into practicing one thing.

I know I said I’ll make this one short, turns out there was a little more to unpack than I thought.

But now, for the final approach.

Approach 3: The “Middle-of-the-Road” Approach

You probably saw this coming as well.

No doubt you thought I would do the classic “here’s one side of things, here’s the opposite side, and here’s the in-between” kind of thing.

But this approach is special in that it is less in the “middle”. In fact, I would argue that this approach is the “pick one thing” approach with a twist.

So I guess this should really be called the “Middle-of-the-Road-but-Slightly-off-to-the-Side” approach.

Sound good? Let’s begin.

Here’s the thing: I can’t lie to you.

I can’t sit here and give you false hope. I wouldn’t want anyone to do that to me.

This is ultimately the approach I (sort of) went with (I’ll explain later).

I went with it because it is as real as it gets.

There were two things I came across that really drove this idea home for me. One of them is in Sean McCabe’s book entitled Overlap (from this title you can probably see the idea of the “Multi-Passionate” approach).

The other is from a blog post that is an excerpt to Derek Sivers’ book entitled Hell Yeah or No (just from this title you can see the idea of the “Pick One Thing” approach).

The advice from both of these individuals really struck a chord with me.

Sean McCabe’s book is actually a business book, not a passion one, but he has a chapter on passion (or rather, Part I of the book is on passion).

A big idea of the book is about not quitting your day job while you pursue your passions; only quit when your passion can sustain itself.

In a particular chapter on passion, McCabe said something that really resonated with me.

He explains that we think we have many passions because we “like” them all or are good at many things. In reality, we like the idea of doing something. If one were to experience all of them or really commit to each one, they’d find out rather quickly that it was something they never wanted to do all along.

It goes further than that, though. McCabe is about “picking one thing” because our inability to decide which thing to pick will paralyze us and ensure that we don’t end up doing anything (sounding a lot like Approach #2, right?).

Where he differs a little from the previous approach in my opinion (and Derek Sivers too) is one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard:

“…what you choose will almost certainly not be what you do for the rest of your life!”

Woah, crazy right? But so true nonetheless.

If you probably won’t do whatever you choose forever, why waste time by not choosing it?

McCabe says that your inability to decide is because you are scared of choosing the wrong thing, but the only way you will ever find the right thing is to pick something and try it!

Aren’t we funny? Us humans?

We are so scared of making that decision out of fear of it being wrong (even though it can still be right, but we don’t ever think of that) that we choose nothing and fill ourselves with regret on our deathbed because we never ended up picking something.

The reality is that you can still bounce back if it was the wrong decision. McCabe frames this wonderfully:

Say the thing you will be doing for the rest of your life is Thing #5. The only way you will get there is by going through Thing #1–4 first.

You can’t skip the numbers. Because you won’t decide, you never get to #5. Hell, it might even be that Thing #3 was what you wanted to do anyway! It may not take five “Things” to get to the thing. You may even get lucky in that the first “Thing” you choose ends up being what you do for the rest of your life.

But how would you ever know anything if you don’t try it out?

This is the approach Sean used.

He was constantly discovering something else he wanted to do while still working on a different passion. He was able to have every passion of his become sustainable for him to where it became his day job. Then, at night, he would be working on that next “Thing”. This process of working on two passions at the same time is what he calls “overlapping”.

In the end, he finally ended up where he wanted to be, but he still has the skills of everything else he did before.

One could say he mastered those skills more than if he were pursuing them all at once because most of his energy went into one thing at a time.

Derek Sivers talks about this as well. He says “Don’t be a Donkey”:

You may have heard this story: Buridan’s donkey is standing halfway between a pile of hay and a bucket of water. It keeps looking left and right, trying to decide between hay and water. Unable to decide, it eventually dies of hunger and thirst.

A donkey can’t think of the future. If he could, he’d clearly realize that he could first drink the water, then go eat the hay.

Ahhh, what wonderful advice. Sivers later says that you can indeed do everything you want to, but you lack the patience.

McCabe talks more about the fear of the unknown, but both him and Sivers are highlighting the importance of patience as well. Pursuing one thing at a time when you know there are other things you want to try out requires TONS of patience. McCabe acknowledges that doing one thing at a time will take years.

Can you be patient enough?

These two things, fearing the unknown and having patience, are what humans suck at. And yet, they are some of the most important aspects of this whole “passion” thing.

In fact, it’s kind of the crux of it all, right?

Every successful person pursued their passion without having any idea where it will take them. They don’t fear the unknown, though, they are constantly running toward it. They are also patient in their pursuit, knowing that nothing worth pursuing comes quickly, so they don’t expect it to.

That’s why I like this approach.

McCabe has some helpful advice to make it easier for yourself as you explore your passions:

• First, allow yourself to explore, but explore it long enough. You can’t decide if something is your passion unless you’ve faced resistance and overcame it.
• If you decide to do something and don’t end up liking it, you’ve made progress! You’ve decided what you don’t want to do!
• What would you do if you weren’t paid to do it?

There’s also some advice I heard at some point in my life on passion, and I can’t remember if it was from Sean McCabe or someone else. The advice is:

If you were to pick something and work on it forever, pursuing it with everything you’ve got, and nothing comes from it, would it have been worth it?

What I Chose (To Anyone Who Actually Cares):

When I look back on what Sean McCabe says in his book, he is very much so about “picking one thing”.

At several points, however, he mentions that it’s okay if you do other things as well to discover the one thing. You could even do several things at once, but he advises to “make the main thing the main thing”.

He believes that to get the life you want you need to “pursue one thing with every fiber in your body and nothing else”. Kind of contradictory? Yes. But that’s life. Two things can be true at the same time.

I agree with this last approach for the most part.

I have about five huge (I mean HUGE) dreams that I want to pursue. I mean, really pursue. Maybe in another blog post down the line, I will talk about them, but from what I’ve learned about talking about your dreams in past:

• No one cares
• Talking about them felt good even though I knew I wasn’t doing anything

What I ultimately chose was Approach #3, in a way. I would try out all of my passions and see which one I really go with. In the end, I would probably just be doing the one thing, the main thing.

But then again, as I said earlier, all of this pertains to you and your wants and needs. I don’t think I quite fit with any approach. I can’t do the multi-passionate thing because I honestly feel that that approach leads to being a “jack of all trades, master of none” way of life, and mastery for me is super important.

See? I’m a multi-passionate who didn’t follow the “multi-passionate approach” approach I labeled.

In fact, people like Sean McCabe, Derek Sivers, and Marie Forleo are all multi-passionates that followed Approach #3. They each wanted to do several things and were constantly “overlapping”. They did one thing and then another and then another but only one at a time.

I want to see if there is something in this life that I can master, and I don’t think that following the “do everything and find ways to combine the things into your own niche” (Approach #1) leads to mastery. It doesn’t even excite me or sound interesting if I’m being honest.

I can’t “pick one thing” (Approach #2). I’ve limited my goals down, at least, but I have no intention of “being realistic” in the sense of “you can’t do many things” way. My huge goals aren’t that “realistic” to a lot of people, so even if I chose one of them, it may still be impossible!

So what’s the point?

I differ from Approach #3 in that though I won’t be going through several “Things”. I will be doing them all at once. I still have a “main” thing that I plan on mastering, but honestly, I want to master them all.

But it’s not impatience. It’s feasible for me right now. I have the time to do my main thing with as much work as it requires while doing other things as well (if I make the time for it).

I think it is possible, and I think there are some examples out there.

Is it hard? Hell yeah it is.

Does it require tons of sacrifice? You bet.

Have I been putting in the work required to bring these goals to fruition? Nope! (but I’m working on it :)

This may all sound confusing, but it basically sums up to this:

I fear regret over anything else.

I fear it over the unknown. I fear it over the patience needed to reach my goals. I fear it over the time it will all take.

Regret is my biggest fear and Time my biggest enemy. There’s not enough time and it will pass anyway, so why waste life only to regret that you’ve wasted it in the end?

That’s why I’ve developed my Approach #4: Do what you want, just don’t regret (and hopefully prove some losers wrong).

I have picked a “main” passion that I work on more than anything else and plan to master, but when I can I still work on my other passions with the intent to master, still.

I’m not stupid, I know it may never happen.

My goals could even change.

I may end up just doing one thing for real or changing my main thing. You never know.

The point is that I’m not blindly acting like anything will come my way. I’m also aware of when I’m not doing enough.

The possibility of it all excites me enough, though.

Approach #1 shows me the possibility of things, Approach #2 guides me toward mastery, and Approach #3 shows me the reality of it all. There’s no “right” way, just “your” way.

I hope this helps everyone struggling out there, and if you’ve been an angel and read all the way to the end, I deeply appreciate you and hope you’ve found some value and answers to something that may have been nagging at you for a long time.

Lord knows I needed it way back then…